Operation: I.R.O.N.I.C.

MOVED BLOG!

2011-03-15T08:57:00.000+08:00

I've moved!

3sigfigs.blogspot.com

-M

for teh lulz

2010-11-23T21:44:00.002+08:00

lol. i've been generally bugging many people about their grammatical mistakes, even talking about grammatical errors made by my lecturers. this grammar criticism has been quite a habit (despite the fact that i'm still lazy to use proper capitalisation of letters), i hope no one kills me over it. i don't intend on wanting to lose this habit, though.

this week has been very tiring. i was recently busy doing council work involving orientation, and who knew orientation-organising could be so tough? plus there's the dance practices...i mean, dancing is ok, but i'm kind of tired of it. (in a literal sense, physically and mentally.)

but i'll make it, don't worry. i'm not dead yet, and still keeping my sanity. (i managed to get some back, but i will still act crazy and stuff, for keeping boredom away.)

right now i'm in the middle of doing chemistry tutorial on arenes. i'm quite liking how the paces of the lectures have been, but i don't like the fact that the lectures go on for 2 hours. however, i guess i really have to get used to this fact, although i don't know much about how things go on in a university, i have to make myself prepared for whatever's coming.

i always seem to attract crazy people. secondary school, jc, will i have another crazy bunch of people as friends in the future?

i certainly hope so, 'cause these bunch of crazy people i have befriended over the years have certainly made my life less monotonous. (in other words, brought colour to this smart idiot's life.)

secondary school has really been fun. i will miss being sarcastic (not like i'm not sarcastic anymore), and being around my clique (i'll admit to being part of a clique. it's not a sin to be in one, right?)...although i haven't been the most outgoing one in the gang. haha.

jc ain't that bad either, although i'm only halfway through the course of my jc life. although project work itself hung like a black cloud over all of our heads, my group's randomness surely made doing project work less of a bore. as mentioned above, council ain't that bad either.

maybe i should add drawings next time.

maybe i should set up my deviantart acct.

maybe i should stop procrastinating and do my work.

g'nite world.

UPDATE AS PROMISED

2010-11-04T16:02:00.002+08:00

allo everyone. since promos are over and i'm waiting for bro-mide to finish stuff in his com before i can finish my animation, i guess it's about time i returned to blogging. heh. (as long as i don't get detected again)

i feel that i've definitely lost my touch. i guess i got too overconfident with my o-level results that i had the mentality of me being "so damn smart" that i can just brush off through all my school work. i guess i really have to work harder this time, more than i ever did in secondary school. (or more than how i did this past few months.)

so why all this crap talk?

don't worry. i'm going to be in jc2 next year.

it's just that i'm dissatisfied with my promo results. ok, it definitely was an improvement from midyear exams, which left me quite sad, and led me to self-hatred, thinking why did i even let myself screw up sooooo badly. and yeah, i won't be retained, nor have the burden of having myself think that i only got into jc2 because the school gave me the chance to do so, because i got into jc2 due to my own efforts (meaning i qualify for jc2 without moderating my grades.).

it's just that my grades are not spectacular as they used to be.

ok, i guess i have to face the fact that i'm not in btss anymore. i'm not saying btss sucked (but it's nowhere near "leet school standard" either), i guess i still have not gotten used to the fact that since i'm in a jc (mjc for that matter, which has quite a reputation), i'll be surrounded by people who came from better schools, and it would be no surprise if they all are better than me.

i guess i'll have to think of a better strategy then (which doesn't involve anything evil such as tearing books in the library or sabotaging others for my own benefit. i'm not that bad, seriously.)

ah.

on another note, i don't seem to be putting much effort. better start getting to work then.

remind me sometime: i aim to get straight A's at the a-levels.

next year i'll be taking the a-levels.

am i terrified? yes. more than i did for the o-levels.

but i will make it. i won't try to meet the grade, i'll give it my all.

just to fulfil my dream.

is having a dream, a wish, childish?

many people would think so.

they'd say real life doesn't work that way.

i know this fact too well.

muh. i must be crazy. i don't really care.

i won't screw up this time.

i'll meet you there :)

2010-08-21T14:30:00.003+08:00

"I'll wait for you in my dreams,

underneath the starry sky,

because only in dreams we can meet

without anyone getting in our way..."

-Unknown

"And when you close your tired eyes,

I'll meet you there"

- I'll meet you there by Owl City

(Picture is drawn by me...no takin' without my permission XD)

sian-isms.

2010-08-06T20:27:00.002+08:00

today was one of the worst days ever.

firstly, i was faced with one of my add-type moods (a.k.a. attention-seeking mood). i dunno why. i seemed to have ticked many people off today.

then, my brother lost his phone. his phone used to be mine, and it was my 2nd favorite phone that i've used. i was so enraged, i didn't talk to him the entire day, until like 5pm.

then there was that yog torch bearer practice. i missed econs lecture because i stood in front of g.o.. i was that type of person who got bored easily and didn't like wasting my time for something useless, so my random mode kicked in and started doing...eh, silly stuff.

but anyways. i missed econs for this?! i mean, i'm not a huge econs fan, but i just don't like missing lessons. i still remember how sorta p-ed off i was during those soccer-cheering period (even though i didn't show this that much, except that time i was assigned to triton instead of atlas and missed bio *angry face*). i dunno, i just don't like the feeling of missing out on a lot of stuff, even though most of the time i doze off during lectures (but i'm more prepared this time. hahaha).

then after that we councillors had a scolding for the latecoming problem. i mean, i wasn't late this time, seriously. but what i was sorta ticked off was that it was moved back again to 710 am instead of 715. what really makes me wonder is that despite we come early, we still do duty late, don't we? (just hope the higher-ups don't see this. eeps.)

...what's more, doing study benches is demotivating (albeit me not doing that duty for this week.) you tell them to move, but all this falls on deaf ears. they only move when the teacher comes in. and i remember during my nominee days that when the teachers come in, the sc has not been doing a good job.

omg, i'm doing my job wrong then.

whaddya expect me to do, poke them until they move? i dunno anymore.

afterwards the whole thing i didn't have the motivation to move my butt to chem lecture, 'cause i knew lecture was gonna end soon. but good thing i went for the lecture. they were on optical thingymajigies already.

...when i went home i forgot to ask chun xi about the chem notes after being sucked in to a conversation with benj. stupid me.

then i went home and redid my gpp stuff. then afterwards i did my econs notes.

frustration kicked in when my parents asked me to help them move stuff (we just installed those ikea-type floors). i was so frustrated. i'm doing my work, can't they see that?

so when i finally couldn't take it hiding it anymore, i decided to show how angry i was.

guess that wasn't the right move to do, 'cause i got a mouthful later.

of course, it only made my evil mood worse.

graaaah. fortunately, i never lashed out at them (except thru body language, but i think i showed it too subtly they didn't notice -_-").

so now i'm venting my frustrations by furiously typing into my unfortunate lappy (sorry lappy dear!).

i'll end my ranting here.

see ya.

-m

plants.

2010-07-21T15:52:00.002+08:00

i haven't been able to blog so often as i used to, nor have i been on fb that often. i got banned from that dastardly thing...no regrets, i've planned to quit a long time ago. i'm still figuring out how to move out of the withdrawal stage, though.

*sigh*

i haven't been online on msn either. sorry folks. (will add you soon. really really.)

anyways, i've finally adjusted to this hectic lifestyle (can you believe it?). this won't mean updates though, even if i'm on my lappy i'd still be preoccupied with project work. haha.

organised my first school event. well, not really, i was second in charge, but i'm in charge of the techie stuff. didn't know how hard these stuff was, but i guess i have to get used to it, being in the council and such.

on another note, just to get rid of that pessimistic cloud in my head, i bet they hate me for being such a slacking pest. i mean, i'm not slacking on my job, but my multiple excuses make it seem like so in retrospect. unfortunately, i really have a curfew now, and i was busy during the holidays. so there.

it's just that the truth always seems ridiculous compared to what you want to hear, to the lies.

because lies are just too common, it seems like it's the truth.

ok, enough philosophy. i'm trying to clear everything in my head. i have like, 10 or less weeks to study for promos, and no way am i wanting to fail this one (who does?)

i just don't wanna make the same stupid mistakes again.

please don't be angry if...

>i don't take your call

>i don't sms you back

>i don't go online

...it just means i have my priorities to settle.

i don't wanna get a smiley face for a grade anymore. i just don't.

i get irked by those people who seem to do better than me. i can't take losing to anyone. it's just in my nature. (i'm sorry.)

i shall stop procrastinating. seriously.

TO DO:

>continue revision for bio, chem, math, econs

>argue with the newspaper

>meet up with sec school friends (when? xy, amanda, mich, anh, huy, when are you guys free?!? you guys seem to be free when i'm not, and busy when i am free. LOL!)

>jc bash jc bash jc bash omg.

>start deciding on how to celebrate the 18th, 'cause my parents are bugging me.

>watch despicable me, then inception. if and only if i have the time.

>do something about the lack of blazer bags

>bother chun xi with the research

>deal with the fb problem and other kinds of crap.

>think think think

>insanity :P

>stop procrastinating!!!!!!!!!!!

BAI NOW.

-the girl who hurt her finger with her braces. stupid dimwit.

runnin in my head

2010-05-26T20:27:00.003+08:00

today, i learnt many things.

the first: everything isn't always in my control.

when i was a kid, i wanted everything to be perfect. like on tv, where the main character is always well-liked any popular, and has good grades, and...well everything. which is why i took it very hard when i didn't get in the top 3 students when i was primary 4.

however, i just brushed this off soon after, after i made a fresh new start in primary 5, in a totally different school.

soon i moved to singapore, where i met many awesome people. i met may disappointments, but most of them i considered minor, because i knew that i can somehow change them for the better.

today, i tried to be in my best, trying to serve a fellow student. my intentions were good and sincere.

but like what murphy's law states "whatever bad that can possibly happen, will happen" (or something similar to that)

i tried my best, but i can't do anything about it.

the second: i picked the most awesome-est of friends, even though sometimes i rue them so.

i always had someone to be crazy with, and to be emo with.

i also had someone to complain to.

i also had someone who i used as a punching bag to my sarcasm, narcissism, and everything else due to my frustrations with the world. i apologize and thank you for that.

i also had someone who always reminded me i must always work hard and never be complacent in my work, 'cause even the underdog can beat the people at the top.

i have friends who would fight for me if i got offended, even though i know (or at least, i think so) i can fend for myself.

i have friends who taught me to broaden my horizons, to move out of my comfort zone.

i have friends who've encouraged me...albeit sometimes quite subtle.

they have taught me realism, that everything's rarely perfect.

some have taught me stuff about school, but most of them taught me stuff they never teach in school.

they were the answer to my prayer when i was a kid: to have an exciting, fun-filled life, although this wasn't really what i had in mind.

you guys brought a multitude of colours in my life (cheesy, i know)

most of all, they made me feel that i'm no insignificant dot.

thanks so much. :D

don't worry, i'm not dying. i just wanted to express my gratitude, which i should have done long ago.

a lot of things have been happening recently. sometimes i lose faith in myself, and scold myself for what went wrong.

but i reassure myself that it isn't my fault.

recently, i've also have my ups and downs...life's like that.

so far, i'm doing quite well. i finally got the hang of balancing school stuff and council, and housework and church. it's been fun. my parents know what i'm doing, and they've been great help in encouraging me and stuff.

i also realised i've been losing sleep the past few weeks. lol.

i got mid-years coming soon, haha. i'm worried.

i'll just go back to studying my notes why watching youtube videos. hahaha :D

-m

too much stuff

2010-05-14T23:07:00.002+08:00

i just finished mugging for econs. so i has freedom to do whatever right now.

i'm lying. i'm not free from work yet.

i have a lot of things bugging me in the head, so pardon me if i shoot anyone. i'm really really sorry.

first of all: criticism.

would you call something overall lousy if someone put all his effort on it, but still failed to make something impressive?

would you call something awesome if he did not put his heart and soul in it, and did it insincerely, but yielded good results?

to make things clearer: if a soccer team was the slacker-type with the team members overly complacent, if they won, would they deserve more praise than the team which works hard, but still hit rock bottom?

criticism cannot be classified as immoral or moral, i'll give that person that. but a judge has a right to criticize as he knows how it's supposed to be done, as he has experience in this kind of stuff. i guess asking an inexperienced person to judge something is pretty much questionable.

another note: friends

how would you feel if you always are subtly outcasted just cause...?

i guess it's pretty much the language barrier for me. i am trying hard to learn chinesisch from my bro.

but this happens all the time. i guess i'll just try to tolerate it.

3rd thing: finances

i am trying hard to budget my allowance for the whole month. please don't ruin it by your extravagant spending and stuff. although spending it on study notes is fine.

ze fourth: my current attitude problem

ever since this year, i tried to change my image from introvert to extrovert.

i think it worked too well, i became too sarcastic.

ah well.

i'm sorry to those i have offended by my acts of narcissism and making fun of you.

just one last thing: cultural invasion

is japan and korea really trying to invade the world with their culture? (though i'm pretty sure korea's just trying to mimic japan, save for the koreanovelas, cause that was totally korea's)

is america too, in a way, influencing what we think?

i've gotta admit though:

>i like japanese anime (i find korean manga/anime a teensy bit irksome, the eyes are drawn huger than in japanese ones. srsly)

>i like csi, flashforward, and house, all of which were produced in usa.

>almost everyone has an iphone now (i'm not gonna buy one though, i'm not bothered until everyone really has one)

in conclusion: i'm an idiot.

-m

eat my dust

2010-04-22T23:05:00.002+08:00

i miss doing this. seriously.

which is why i'm here now.

lolz.

bai now.

general apology.

2010-04-12T15:57:00.003+08:00

while it may seem like i'm free now, i'm not. i'm sacrificing my project work time just to blog this...

*sighs* here we go.

i may seem aloof more often now that i'm here. that isn't the case. i may miss your call or won't reply to your sms. I'M SORRY. i just don't have enough time like i used to. i have loads of tutorials to do, and seriously, there's a test almost everyday, and since i'm in the council now, i just have more things to worry about. but that doesn't mean i'm abandoning my old friends or anything like it; i just really have to get adjusted to this kind of life.

i might also seem to be free 'coz i'm sometimes online on facebook, but that's something else entirely. i just leave my facebook online sometimes. :P

i'm also sorry since i didn't go to a single class outing. i'll try to sometime, but i don't expect that to come to reality soon, with me thinking "suicidal" because of all the workload i'm having (NO, not that suicidal...it's more like "i wanna go home sleep, fail if fail, luhs" kind of thing).

i really have lots of things in my mind, like meeting expectations, schoolwork, council stuff, and even church and home stuff. and i'm also thinking of getting a job sometime...but that's purely theoretical...or something like it. but you guys will still keep a place in my head. i don't forget those kind of stuff.

i wonder what you guys think of me now...being in jc and stuff. i guess you guys might be thinking how smart i am, and how much of a jerk i am for not coming to the outing. as i said, i haven't got the hang of balancing things yet...and i haven't gave on trying. but i guess i can understand if you guys feel that way.

you wanna know what i think?

forgive me for my ignorance, but i guess you guys have it better than me. you guys just had a long vacation, and so far your worries just have been emotional and a bit of financial...but i guess in the end we all will face similar stress...albeit slightly different.

i'm cutting of this post...and return sometime soon...probably next year. hum.

- :D

dimwitzzz

2010-03-11T16:10:00.002+08:00

hallos.

while i am still being flooded by tutorials, i guess i'll be blogging this time.

so anyways, tried my hand at flash, with my bro's guidance of course.

and you know what? it ended up pretty awesome. besides the fact that it went too fast, but that's cause i had to squeeze it in in 30 sec.

so anyways. my class in jc is ok, but it will never be the same as good old 4e1. haha. i still am random...but now i keep it in a minimum level. and i am still a bit evil. hahahaha :P

my current clique is like...ok luhs. two of them are like mugger types, but i don't mind. it's better that way, or i'll be sending myself to doom again. the other two are like random also...hahaha :D

yeah, i know my sec sch clique was not the mugger type, but it's better that way. the other clique of girls are like....uhm, damn hyper like you cannot stand...or something like it. i wouldn't use the other word that starts with b and ends with o. hahaha :P

i really miss my sec schl clique. there's no one i can pick on and "compete" (michael) or anyone i can be random with (xy) or pick on the whole green tea thing (js) or that person to wait at the bus stop and then talk about wondergirls (amanda).

on an unrelated note, yes, i finally got my wish that i can walk to school. awesome, eh? too bad i can't go for lunch at home. :P

i guess i have changed this year. i am not that timid-type anymore, since i guess i learned that in sec schl...and i has a fringe and is wearing shorter skirt and short socks. ok, the last line doesn't really mean anything. honest.

so, anyone wanna disturb the school with me?

hmm?

2010-02-27T17:05:00.000+08:00

i haven't posted in days. ahahaha. but neither is anyone else, but heck.

i'm at meridian jc. ain't it awesome?

i'm flooded with tutorials right now, and i still has a poster to design.

i'll post another time, k?

-baka.

bored

2010-01-22T10:16:00.000+08:00

one word:

Halp.

:)

2010-01-13T13:34:00.002+08:00

Hallo guys.

It's been 2(?) days since the release of o-level results.

How was my o-level results you might ask?

It's a mixed bag.

I am happy I got in the top 3 in my stream...I am happy that I got 11 for L1R5...and I am happy it was mostly A's...

But I am disappointed that I only got one A1 (When will you be satisfied Lyzz?)

I've been going around JCs...and this wwas how it all fared:

9 Jan (Temasek JC)
It was fun...and I had a taste on General Paper and Econs. However, I couldn't help but feel out of place...most who came came from them top schools and a couple of foreigners...I can't help but think "What the crap is a student from a neighbourhood school like me doing here?"

Oh well. :D I might not be able to get in there...their cut-off was 6. :(

12 Jan (National JC)
What the pfargtl.

I didn't realise how far away NJC was from my house.
It was a 1 hour bus ride from my house, not counting waiting time for buses to arrive and traffic jams and stuff.
I know NJC is pretty much an elite school, so I expected as much when most of the people there came from some high class school...
...I didn't expect that it would be surrounded by other top schools (mostly primary schools...I don't really recall)

Once again, I am so out of place.

13 Jan, today (St Andrew's, Anderson, Meridian)
Supposedly I was going to head off first to Anderson, then SAJC, but since SAJC's open house starts earlier, I went there first instead.

I think I would like it studying in SAJC.
Besides the fact its location is sorta near Pasir Ris, I think school life there is more upbeat (and probably less boring)...plus the nice-looking uniform. Hahaha.
...and besides. I'd most likely be posted there. lol.

Anderson's sorta OK too...but it has a high cut-off point, and the facilities are pretty old.

I haven't gone to MJC yet. I still have to wait for someone to watch over the house...but I think I'd like it there too. Especially the fact that it's just a walk from my house. Nyahahaha.

-----------------------------
I'll be getting my own lappy soon.

(::D

whu-, get that thing outta my face.

2010-01-07T09:50:00.002+08:00

so, o-lvl results come out on the 11th?

then my informer was damn accurate (thanks, dude!). hahahaha :D

hmmm. i miss chicken rice balls.

i really have not much to say today...it wasn't like before when i blog i have lots of things to say...it feels weird blogging now...

at the moment i'm very busy, considering the fact that the church is literally just across the street from my house and i have no excuse to exclude myself for warden duty, and it has busy for the past few days...church's dedication is coming up...raaaaah.

also, i'm trying to go to as much jc/poly open houses as i can...just to get out of the house. hahaha :D

as for my story, i forgot where i saved the file. lol.

i wonder how much has changed?

it seems like everyone seems so far away...or am i merely isolating myself?

or is it because i miss everyone?

ok, i'll admit it.

I MISS EVERYONE IN 4E1.

I miss how messy the back of our classroom is, and that every tuesday i have sweep the classroom (hahaha).
I miss my friends, who always have to put up with my randomness...and sometimes my mood swings...and how irritating i am sometimes. :P
I miss my table. (I wonder who got my note on my table? :D)

Anyone remember that time when people stuffed their books and used green tea bottles in that cabinet in our classroom? I almost wanted to stuff my stuff...

Also, anyone remember that time we found a box of (expired) chips outside 7-11? good thing no one had stomach problems afterwards.... :D

I seriously miss school.

I know this isn't typical of me to be touchy-feely and stuff. (I need hug :P)

bah, i'm gonna go back to sleep (so anti-climatic.)

whoosh.

2010-01-03T13:47:00.002+08:00

Hallo fellow peeps and whoever.

It's my first post for 2010! Ain't it awesome?

Ok, probably not.

Back to business.

I heard that o-level results will be coming out on the 11th. This certain source told me Mr Ng told him...I checked with Ms Choo, and she said she doesn't know.

Ah well. :D

Ok, I'm nervous. Honest.

>.>

Deaugh.

I'm gonna go watch asdf movie.

so much for an explosive first post, huh?

mushroom heaven

2009-11-24T10:50:00.002+08:00

i dreamt of a world where we ate mushrooms everyday. it was weird. :/

on another note, i'm effing bored to death.

i don't have a job yet, and even though i want to go on to do some voluntary work, i can't. i has bro-mide responsibilities. or whatever you call it.

what a drag. :(

so now i'm busy writing something. it looks good now, but i don't know how it'll turn out if i read it sometime later. lol. basically, the story's about a rich guy who has this lazy, self-centered attitude who gets a bodyguard, who is a girl, who has this "i am smarter than thou" and sarcastic attitude. of course, the guy thinks the girl is no good to be a bodyguard...and blah, blah, blah. i wouldn't possibly disclose the other parts of the story now, would i?

oh well.

i can't believe i'm saying this, but...

I MISS SCHOOL.

what the f is wrong with me?

*sigh* but i don't want to repeat secondary school. no way. :(

i just hope that i get good, i mean, awesome marks for my o-levels. waaah.

i really miss you. :/

grrr, if only i could go back to ph and forget all of this. but my cousins still have school...i'm not so selfish as to bother them just to fulfill my wants...

i'll just go and play pokemon on my psp then.

/endpost

a foxtrot above my head...

2009-11-17T10:41:00.002+08:00

Hello again.

I'm feeling romantic. Is it because of the upcoming prom night? Or is it just pms?

*sigh*

perhaps it's because i dreamt of being at a porch of a house, being hugged by a guy. unfortunately, i wasn't able to see who the guy is.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! what is wrong with me?!?!?!

i'll post back later, if i can.

/endpost

haldo.

2009-11-13T10:19:00.002+08:00

I'm back.

O-Levels are finally over. Ain't it great?

But this would also mean goodbyes.

Would you still remember me?

How would you remember me?
Would you remember me because I always picked on you, or have been sarcastic to you? Or because I was that person with the longest skirt? ...

We'd all be going separate ways. XY and JS would be going to poly, Michael would be going to some private university, Amanda would also be going to a poly, I guess, and Huy, Anh, and Tung would most probably be overseas.

Me? My future remains unclear. Despite me saying I'd be going to a JC, who knows if I actually can get in to my cousin's university in the US of A?

Why do I always have to be different from the others? Was this my destiny? -_-"

I've separated from my friends many times, and began anew too many times. It is rather sad. :(

But I guess life's like that. I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes.

I got hooked on Owl City. :D I like their songs.

Meh. See yah on prom night then.

Save the last dance for me.

:)

:(

2009-09-04T23:15:00.002+08:00

-Dead End-

*sigh*

I know I shouldn't be here. I should be studying.

...but I feel like I'm at a dead end.

English....was I guess, quite ok.

Social Studies, well, let's just say the source-based questions were difficult.

Teacher showed us Bio results.

I'm beginning to doubt my own ability. Am I fated to fail?

I cannot let this happen.

I must not.

I'm sorry. I just have to do this.

I cannot let myself be beaten again. I've just had too much.

This failure, it hurts just too much (I'm crying as I'm typing this.)

I guess I have to face this on my own.

Don't worry, I'll be ok.

Thanks for the concern anyway, the simple act of reading this is consolation enough for this battered soul.

-m

hallo und auf wiedersehen

2009-08-28T16:07:00.002+08:00

if you can't see the title, it's "hallo und auf wiedersehen(sp?)"

hello because i'm updating this for the first time in months.

and goodbye because it might be might last post for this year.

anyways. on to business.

our principal told us to blog responsibly. well, i tried to. i used no vulgarities (if i did, i would censor it)...and i guess i did look into my grammar and spelling and stuff (please don't mind me typing in small caps - i'm in a rush).

...but i did made a couple of mistakes:

>like the time when i made personal attacks on people on my blog

>giving pretty much one-sided views

>mindless typing, if you know what i mean.

oh well. no one's perfect.

speaking of which. i'm not perfect, and i'm not the smartest student in the class. many things happened during the whole course of august.

firstly, i had my first outburst in class. i cried over a certain thing i do not want to talk about. while i was disappointed that there was no one who comforted me while i was crying (i guess they would not understand, i face such pressures. D:), i was glad my humanities teacher was able to straighten me up and pretty much made me snap out of it and stop feeling sorry for myself.

i was rather relieved that it was not the 'o' levels itself, although now i am doubting my own ability. what if i fail?!

oral exams was quite hard, with me forgetting a lot of things and pretty much embarrassing myself in front of the examiners. *hangs head in shame* but seeing how much more harder the next oral exams were, i was glad i was on the first day. :D i guess God has His ways...

now i am facing a certain question: is o-levels really worth suffering for?

i pretty much hope so.

i have almost abandoned my social life (not like i have any)

i spent sleepless nights trying to memorize formulas and a lot of other things.

...and a lot of other things.

please tell me all my efforts were not in vain.

i've gotta be honest, while i despise my smarts, i envy people who can get a's at subjects i'm not good at...and they make it look like it's some primary school question. i guess i will never be satisfied.

...but that doesn't mean i'm ungrateful person. or something along those words.

my whole class has been quite a pest lately. boys in the class are becoming even more moronic, doing things that cause nothing but bother to those who happen to be their hapless victims (er, what?). the girls...well, let's not get me started over that, shall we?

teachers' day is coming. i'm singing for the teachers, but i'm not going to shame myself once more by dancing to "nobody"...no, please, no.

happy teachers' day, by the way, to teachers from my school who are reading this blog (like there are any).

...now to find that ip tracker...

so long, until exams are finally over.

-m

living on a prayer

2009-07-18T13:55:00.002+08:00

Song got stuck in my head...it's pretty much an old song (i dunno how old), my bro-mide kept playing it while i was browsing my parent's files in my compy (on accident, of course...*smiles guiltily)...

...if you wanna know what song it is, it's "Living on A Prayer" by Bon Jovi. It's quite nice actually. :D

i don't think i'd be updating much here anymore, and still haven't updated my "serious" blog. i have so many thoughts, but i don't have the time to type them down, and besides, i'm trying to lie low on the parent radar.

...which brings to the explanation why i can't go to any class event. i don't think my parents trust me enough to let me go, i'll never know why. i'll try to earn it back somehow, but right now i don't have one of them brillant plans yet.

except stealing the laptop to blog this. :D

yesterday someone told me to grow up. i've been mulling this over many times...i dunno. i feel like i should leave those immature times behind and move out to more responsibilties, but another side tells me i shouldn't grow up so fast...

i feel like i want to be in between, but life does not provide that option. darn it.

...so, now what? i'm not really sure.

O levels are coming soon. i've started revising a few nights ago...don't worry, i take a break once in a while.

People say if you did your best you shouldn't worry about your results. i'm more worried if people don't believe that i already put in so much effort...many would think it wouldn't be enough.

i'm actually more scared of facing eveyone in shame. i'm such a failure. :(

*sips coffee* perhaps i should drink less coffee, eh?

i envy many people who have lesser worries in life. Unlike me who have to keep up that high standards, they don't have to worry whether their parents would scold them for a low grade or being damn clumsy...i just wish i wasn't that smart. i just want to be a normal kid.

...But i don't think i will get my way in that. Because i wished many years back that i want to be someone extraordinary and stuff.

Well, like they say, be careful what you wish for, haha.

...But that doesn't mean i'm ungrateful for being smart and stuff. It does have its privileges.

...But i wish that being smart didn't include arrogance. Even my own arrogance irks me.

*sigh*

'til next post (which would most likely be next month). :)

(haven't you noticed that i don't capitalize my "i"s? well you should. you dunno what you're missing)

Derp!

2009-06-20T21:10:00.002+08:00

Hallo.

'Sup?

Why am I feeling this way?

Ok. Maybe I'm not so smart as I thought.
Maybe I'm pretty much like Artemis Fowl, who knows almost nothing in "this kind of relationships."

Haha.

Enough of this blabber.
I only blogged to advertise my side blog on serious business.
Link: http://imnot-anidiot.blogspot.com/

*not bothered to hyperlink. copypaste plz*

I probably won't be updating it often, but I'll be posting there whatever is too serious for this blog. 'coz this blog is full of nonsense, haha.

see ya.

Listening to: Lemon Tree. "I wonder how, I wonder why..."
Reading: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Drinking: 7up.
Mood: Dunno.

BRAIN DEAD.

2009-06-19T16:01:00.002+08:00

Hallo. Been out lately, now rushing out with homework.

So, anyways.

VJC Choral auditions didn't go out so well, I knew I wouldn't be in, I screwed up. But, there's still hope (aka O-Levels itself). Thanks to all who supported me and stuff, really appreciated it.

Methinks I'm losing weight. So much stress. Haha.

Went to Macritchie (howyaspellit?) park/reservoir a few days back. It was tiring, walking around 11km...We pretty much circled the whole place, we weren't able to go to the treetop walk, but I had fun anyways. Lol, if you call walking fun. Also saw huge spiders and monitor lizards and probably a croc. I dunno.

Also has a warden thingy coming up. Very busy this year, haha.

Still haven't finished my flash project. Back to square one because of whole compy reset.

Looking for dress for prom night. So fast?

Planning to buy F1 tix for parents. Hoping to earn enough money, even just for the walkabout. Haha.

Will continue playing. Til next post.

(still haven't signed up for dA. Will do soon, really.)

wheeee spazzes out

2009-06-03T21:10:00.002+08:00

Hallo, my attentive readers...if I have any.

Man, my overall percentage is low. 71.something%. 6th in class.

DAMN IRRITATED WITH SELF.

I can't believe myself. I was such a slacker.

I could've beaten YJ...if I weren't such a slack.

IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, enough of self-scolding.

I'm making a DeviantArt account for random purposes. Soon, very soon. :D

(can't think of a better closing thingymajig)

fails miserably

2009-05-22T14:49:00.002+08:00

Ah. I knew I'd meet disappointment yet again.

I knew we'd be such good friends.

Anyways. I'm quite disappointed with my results. I knew that my "lotsa effort" wouldn't be enough.

Back to the study table then...I mean, during the holidays. And devise another plan. To...um...stuff.

So here are my results (giving out percentage, because I want it that way):
>English: 64[B4] - very distressed over this one. Gotta work hard on my compre.
>EMath: 79[A1] - the only subject where Michael beat me. Must not allow that next time.
>AMath: 50[C6] - a just pass from a pity mark. Still, must not rely on luck next time.
>Humanities: 75[A1] - no good, must work harder.144.5
>Science (Phy/Chem): 85?[A1] - even if it's a high grade, i must try to get higher marks. :D
>Biology: 78[A1] - can't I do better? Yes, I think I can.

...so far I predict that Huy will be first in class. I think Yu Juan will be second...or Xiao Ke.
Me?I'll be 11th. Hah.

I still have DSA forms to print out, and stuff to photocopy.

...doing it like I still got hope.

...I'm even doubting it if I'll actually make it.

...but there's no harm in trying right?

I can't always wait for my O-levels...I feel like I want to do something, but there's always a part of me that says, "you won't make it, what's the point of trying, you dimwit?"

...of course, there are times I try to prove that wrong...but today I really feel like giving up.

So what's my holiday agenda?
>Go for that remedial thingy.
>mull it over if I want to go for that chalet thing (if it's not cancelled)
>do holiday homework, of course.
>expectantly stare at the mailbox, hoping some school would accept a dreadful student like me.
>study, study, study, STUDY!!!
>motivate self to beat...um, y'know...Huy?
>keep hands off fridge.
>remember to go for warden duty.
>beat up the wall, 'coz it was useless.
>put head in toilet bowl. 'coz I'm full of fail and it deserves to go there.
>download adobe flash.

I have big plans for teh futur, but it seems like teh wurld doesn't want to cooperate. DAMN YOUUUUUUU.

kidding.

Taking note:
>study physics and chem until IT'S STUCK IN UR HEAD AAAAAAAAAAH.
>practice amath and emath until your brain gets a meltdown.
>practice structured essays until your hands drop dead.
>study bio until it's pretty much part of your everyday life.

Being a student's a nightmare, ain't it?

I can't think of anything else right now. Haha.

Off to fill out forms and start writing for my experimental film.

Auf Wiedersehen. :D

(P.S. :Michael and Karl, if you're reading this, I swear I'll beat you. You'll see. Hahahaha :D C'mon, for friendly competition's sake? Lol)

boredom.

2009-05-19T09:09:00.001+08:00

I gots an oral exam later, so I'm gonna make this quick.

WHEEEE NO MORE EXAMS!!!!

and...

AHH, MY RESULTS WILL SURELY SUCK!

...now allow me to sit in one corner and ponder how full of fail my life is.

Thank you.

(note: not going emo, just going through that paranoid result thing phase. don't get it? *shrugs*)

sneezes

2009-05-06T10:04:00.002+08:00

hallo.

I've been sneezing since yesterday, but I guess my sore throat and cough pretty much subsided.

...my classmates think I got the flu, but I'm guessing it's just a minor cold.

whoop. I'm feeling tad better already.

...perhaps all I needed was rest?

hmm.

Now I gotta go mop the floor, cook rice then revise my geog.

:)

serious business. :D

2009-05-01T15:42:00.002+08:00

Hello. :D

I know I'm not updating much lately, and this blog's almost at its grave, so yeah. Can't do much about it, I'm risking myself getting caught again while doing this, but I don't care...at least for today.

So, what is new in this never ending boring life?

> Global economic crisis? so months ago. :(

> Global warming? it sucks. Everyday is very hot, and I hate hot weather. It rarely rains, of which I'm very sad of. I say it's the rich and selfish people's fault, even though I've also played my part in contributing to this problem and is in no position to blame anyone, but hey, those rich and selfish people, in their greed, will waste energy in one way or another...and a lot of other things.

Right now, I'm making the situation worse by using this compy for no urgent reason. And to the reader, so are you.

...so what can we do? I dunno. I'm not in the mood for environmental activism right now.

> Swine flu. Part of me is panicking, and another part of is saying "it's just ordinary flu, only more contagious. No need to worry."

...but with the world seeming to be in panic, how could I not shut that part of me which says "AAAAAAAH WE'RE GONNA DIE WTF IT'S THE FREAKING END OF THE WORLD AAAAAAAAAAAH" ? You tell me.

...weirdly, I'm not in the mood to panic. I'm more worried of the sore throat I got after that chocolate-eating I did last night. (woot)

...so what will I do when it comes to SG? Stay at home, watch TV and do my online homework. And eat chocolate and probably chips. :)
...or panic.

> Mid year exams. I'm clearly procrastinating right now, but I know I shouldn't, if I want to get in VJC through DSA.

...back to work then. :/

will post next time I'm not busy. :P

curious.

2009-04-23T18:01:00.000+08:00

hello.

I know it's kinda late, but I'll do so anyway, for the lulz.

SYF DAY:
Went to school, seriously irritated with my gown. Kept saying words that I try to avoid nowadays, as I keep stepping on the bottom of my gown. I was in the same bus as Ziana, and I only noticed that at the end of my bus ride. Had a little chat and stuff. Went to music room, and like the little idiot I am, I hang it at the string of the projector screen. Ain't it fun?
Played some card game which I dunno how to spell, until Jing Shi was called in by idunnowhoteacher. Later lined up with class, where TTZ said we will surely get a COP. I smirked...we'll see.

Went running for how many rounds at the paarade square. I know that the students playing PE didn't see this coming...Michael ran so fast, so did Amanda. I walked. :)

Afterwards we had "recess". I didn't eat much. :P

Then we had to wear the gown. I went upstairs with Amanda...soon some of my classmates went in the toilet. Amanda was...err...ok, she thought wearing the gown was darn embarrassing (I spelled it right, lol.) Then Ms Lee came and then practiced and stuff...the bun'd up the hair, put on make-up and all those stuff. I still think I didn't put the right shade of lipstick...

Then we went to VCH. Did some breathing exercises, then we saw some SAC peeps. Went upstairs (y'know what I mean, rightt?) then practiced our songs. Ms Lee said to relax and stuff, lol. While the choir before us performed, we prayed to our own gods...I was like, begging to God "I beg you, please let us win a silver!" over and over again and stuff. :D

Went up the stage. Was shivering out of nervousness at first, but everything went well as I let the nervousness go away. LOL.

...then we watched SAC, RGS and Crescent Girl's School (?)...I shall not mention the belly-button and waterfall effect affair in this blogpost.

...went home. Pa asked me what we got, I told him I dunno.

5:30-something came. XY sms-ed me the good news:
CHOIR GOT SILVER. :D (not the exact words.)
So I sms-ed her back:
Yay yay yay! Woot! You aren't kidding me, right?
She sms-ed back:
like duh! Hahaha. F***ing happy :)

....and I was happy. And I felt like I wanted to treat everyone in the world ice cream.

...if only I was Bill Gates or something. *winks*

...so how did I feel?

> that "in-your-face-feeling" if you got something others didn't expect you to get >:)
> Happy. No, glad. No, I mean, ecstatic.
On second thought, let me phrase it as how XY said it: "F***ing happy" :D
> Shocked. Was I in a dream or something? Did I imagine the whole thing?
*pinches self* ...ok, I'm not dreaming, then.
> Speechless. I dunno what else to say.

...well, I still got stuff to do. My post will be cut short, so yeah.

Sayonara :D

weird night.

2009-04-05T15:16:00.002+08:00

I had the weirdest dream...it went like this:

...so something happened that me and my family were forced to return to Philippines...when I got there, I joined some group who I thought as friends, then afterwards I was left out, because I didn't want to join their gang fight. Why would I?

Meanwhile, when I went to school, I saw everyone from 4e1 (except Huy, Anh and Tung...I actually wondered why they weren't there) and 2 other guys. At first the teacher was nice, but by the time it was Science period, she scolded me 'coz I brought my sec 4 books when everyone was bringing pri 4 books! I was totally in a blur...I didn't understand why I was in a p4 class.

...then, the teacher said she'll bring us to this place called 'the supermarket'. I'll never understand why it was called so, but actually, it was a pencil and eraser making factory (or something like that). Then, a feirce looking lady explained to us the work done in the factory, and she asked us to fill up the form and choose which job we want to do in the factory. I didn't want to do any job, I knew it was child labour. As a way to escape that dump, I asked if I can go to the toilet...and that lady didn't allow me to do so. And then she asked me, "have you filled up the form yet?", and I was like "no, and I don't want to". She was angry and started attacking me and stuff...out of self defence I kicked her and punched her and stuff, and began shouting stuff (some of which were vulgarities)...In the end, I rolled her up in some mat, and to my surprise, she disappeared.

...then she reappeared, with her husband. I dunno what happened next, the next thing I knew was that I was in some Japanese-style railway station.

...Now wasn't that a blur or what? ^^

...anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNJ4ZK3TPt4&feature=related
^
if anyone can play this, please let me know. ty and have a nice day.

...und so sagt das verrückt Mädchen.

Waging wars, common sense and some other stuff.

2009-04-03T22:11:00.002+08:00

Go figure.

I've been almost at war with everybody...I mean, everybody except my family and friends...
Aw crud, why am I so stupid to get into these messes! They're idiots, they're not worth being bothered about! They should be ignored!
What the pfartgl is wrong with me?! Raaaaaah.

Why am I at war, you might ask?
> guest guy at JS' blog. I know I'm not obliged to do so, but she's a friend, and you know the whole blabbity blah thing.

> some person/people at school who's been bothering Erycka...also not supposed to. *bangs head* I feel like I'm being kaypoh (did I spell it right?) and stuff...

> a bunch of dudes who I (pretty much) intimidated. I was on a bad mood with some people who had no common sense, and when they asked if someone was sitting on that bench we were sitting on, I shot back a "yeah, duh", thinking "of course there'd be someone sitting there you dumb*****"...in the end they were pretty much f***ed off becomes I was (maybe) looking down on them and stuff. After school, I saw them while Mich and I were walking to the bus stop, and they were giving me this look like...you know, when you make someone angry and stuff? Yeah...

...so yeah, this week had pretty much been a nightmare. I really can't wait to get out of this school ASAP.

Why?
> that stinky foul-fish-smelling pathway going to the school
> people who act like they're gangster and stuff but is actually seeking attention
> people who disrupt lesson time when I'm really in the mood (which is on Bio, and on other subjects on rare occassions)
> a bunch of people in class who have been giving me endless headaches (I know I should probably ignore them, but they have the whole class' attention, and I'm pretty much a nobody)
> People who has pretty much no common sense...

Now, I don't have anything against common sense-less people, and I've been called as such by my parents on some occassions, and I'm crazy and stuff. It's just that, they do it every single day! For the exception of go-over-the-fence person, which I've only seen do so once.
And it's sorta irritating.

I need a break.

*drinks coffee*

I think they should a make a class called "common sense 101"...of course, I'd still have to attend.

Derp. *thinks of more random stuff*

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so smart...I don't like the feeling of being envied, and I don't like the looks of people when they think I'm looking down on them but actually I'm trying not to...but I like the looks on people's faces when I outsmart them...(sorry ^^")

...I wouldn't like being stupid either (pronounced in AmE).

...I hate how I become sarcastic even to friends and family.

...I hate not competing with anyone who's smarter than me and who's smug about it. It pretty much gives me that motivation...but it's not as if I hate Huy...he's smart and humble...unlike me who's pretty much arrogant and stuff.

I think I'll go plot something to calm myself...and eat chocolate ice cream with milo powder on it. I won't go emo, I promise.

...und so sagt das verrückt Mädchen. (no translators in this one! woot for me! ^^)

random lolness. :p

2009-03-19T18:26:00.000+08:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

LOL.

--end--

Hello. ;D

2009-03-15T18:09:00.002+08:00

First and foremost, I'd like to apologize to any people I've hurt in the process of keeping up this blog, and to those I will hurt later in this post.

Why am I apologizing? I dunno.

Anyway, lemme summarize what I did for the past few days, my shenanigans, my plots (not really, wouldn't divulge these kind of stuff), and my whatnot.

FREITAG:
Last day of school.
Our class had scolding from Mdm Tan (bio teacher)...but I didn't mind, because I was busying myself reading Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony. I hope she won't kill me if she reads this...Anyway, I've completed the whole series, of which I've read in a non-consecutive manner. Smart, no?

Then there was speech day practice. As usual, I was reluctant to go, but I decided to go anyway. Talked with Erycka (will call her that from no on, I guess) about Artemis Fowl and that "blasted puberty" thing Artemis said in the book...and made fun of Carl "Kalabaw" and Jericho "Jerica/Unggoy"...

...then all hell broke lose when they gave us our March Holiday Choir practice schedule.

I was so darn angry, I actually wanted to stab someone if I had the chance or beat the living crap outta someone. I mean, it's unreasonable to have choire practice during the holidays, shouldn't we be given a rest? Seriously, especially us sec 4s...you maybe dunno half of what stress we would be having, especially me.

So I got angry, and unintentionally angry at some people (you know who you are)...but I pretty much calmed down after some jokes at the MRT with Erycka and Esther. Lol.

Then, I went to church for this meeting-thing. There were only 5 of us, not including the three cathechism teachers...they planned a bible-study like group thing starting next fri. I can't wait to get started...I'm dead serious.

SATURDAY:
wardens and filipino mass.
Was tired out in the afternoon. Had to fetch my bro for catechism...and then rush down to get him upstairs for mass while doing warden duty...now you see what stress I am in. But I like being a warden...much more better than getting stuck in choir, no offence.

Then we had filipino mass, so I had to stay back with my parents at church, preparing the food and stuff. I observed how people come and go so quickly when food is served. I haven't even finished a chapter when people started leaving, and I read pretty fast.

I came home, very tired. Oof.

TODAY:
feeling sick and stuff
It's been raining since noon. And I've been watching my bro play Sudden Attack since this morning...I know of a certain someone who's also playing Sudden Attack (besides me and bro-mide over here), but I've never had a rendevous with him (did I use that word correctly?). Don't plan to anyway.

I'm not feeling well, having the stomach upset. Must be the snack I ate.

Hopefully, I might go for choir tomorrow. If I don't, well, something must be wrong...

Man, my stomach hurts. It's like...I can't explain.

I think I need to use the toilet. I've been keeping it in since...a while ago, I guess.

See ya

raglfragtl

2009-02-13T21:17:00.004+08:00

Hello.

Won't see me update for a while. I can't use the compy, unless for important reasons, but I'll still update as long as I do not appear suspicious.

So.

X-country:
I ran, OK?

I'm not that type who runs, though. I wish I waited for Amanda, Jing Shi, Xin Ying, Michael, Anh, Huy...you know...instead of running. Why? My efforts was all in vain.

Anywhoo, 4e1 got 2nd overall class champion. I'm surprised, it's the first time our class gets an award in cross country. I'm also surprised Syarhul got 2nd, I expected him to get 1st. And I'm also surprised to see most of the guys in our class running. Or run past me in that matter.

I ran the first half. Second half, I ran a bit, then chatted with Amanda, who gave up because a few people ran past her. Lol. Then I walked, and run a bit. But I mostly walked...or strolled. I dunno.

I saw a few teachers wear class tee. Was disappointed 'coz our own form teacher didn't wear it, but Mdm Liza and Ms Hao did.

Afterwards we took a class pic with some teachers (Ms Kah, Mdm Liza...um, I'm not sure who else)...and then we went for pizza! I was acting silly...threatening to put Tabasco in my drink and all those stuff.

Everything Else:
Watched a "rerun" of Avatar today on okto (I call it a rerun 'coz I've watched it already at Nick)...I have to say I'm hooked to Avatar, but I won't be a hardcore fan like I did for Codename: Kids Next Door. I other words, I won't be an "Avatard".

I'll be playing SuddenAttack, which seems similar to CounterStrike. Since the controls are pretty similar, I guess I won't have trouble with it except adjusting to the fact that you can't buy in-game or you can't put in scripts (but I haven't tried doing so). And also adjusting to the map and a lot of other stuff.

I won't be a pro in it though, I have studying to do.

Speaking of which.

I dunno if I'm improving or deproving. I can't tell. Really.

But, I know I have work to do with my E&A Math. Seriously.

And I know I satill have to find the balance between academics and CCA. I hate the pressure Choir is giving to us students to get at least Silver (not being a pessimist, but I know this won't happen)...I have studies and a life outside school! You can't expect me to have free time to go for extra choir practice, especially now that it's O-level year...My studies are still more important than my CCA...I don't care whatever choir gets for SYF. I'm more concerned about my studies.

My church stuff is still more important, though. Lolol, warden duty ^^

Gotta go now.
Blah.

100. Hurrah!

2008-12-10T11:14:00.002+08:00

*party time* 100th post!

Yet, I must not go detected in the parent radar. They'll bomb me if I did. Lol.

Yeah, nothing interesting in the world of this idiot, unfortunately, except the news on the newspaper, and Manny Pacquiao's boxing match, which went against the prediction of them critics.

Yup, Manny won. Ain't it awesome? ^^

Man, Pacquiao's an awesome guy. A fellow countryman that I admire. I mean seriously, despite his fame and all that money he's getting (I heard he's got millions!)), he still is very humble. Seriously.

I salute you man.

Anyway.

While I'm struggling with the flood of homework, the study notes and the work I have to do because I'm a crazy fan, I still have time to do gaming.

I rarely go online on TwilightMapleStory as I rarely have time, besides, my parents went on crazy as to put restrictions on my Internet usage. How sad.

I never go play Audition due to the "couple-crazy" people there.

You know what I've been playing?

Ace Combat X on my brother's PSP.
It's an awesome game, in my opinion. Although I've crashed the plane many times, I think I'm doing well for a non-pilot wannabe (unlike my bro), doing half of the missions done.

Yes, Ace Combat X is a game where you fly a plane and shoot down the enemy planes. It's more epic than my bland descriptions, really.

-----------------------------------------
I had this weird dream last night. There was me, my bro, and some several people I can't put my hand on who they are.
So yeah, in my dream, I was an ace pilot (ironic from what you see what I wrote above), and I just came back from a not-so-intense dogfight. So I was having my vacation (with my bro), until I saw something in the sky...something like a spaceship.

And if you saw Independence Day (which is a movie), well, everything went like that movie.

Idiotic, eh?

Well, at least it wasn't weird like the dream I had last week (you seriously don't wanna hear it. It had toilet humor) and that dream of me being President of United States and then attending someone's wedding a few days after my Inauguration.

I should seriously cut my chocolate intake. I think that's what causing these dreams.

But I'd rather have weird dreams than none at all, lol.

Anyway, I'll find something interesting this week, I guess.

Sayonara.

99.

2008-11-13T16:53:00.001+08:00

Fixed it, and now I can access the site. Whoopee!

Now I have to be even more careful. Though I'm still miserable on losing my access to the fanforum, well, I found other alternatives to keep my fandom alive, lol.

How? By scribbling, of course. :D

Anyways, I'm gonna get to the relinkings soon, as long as I won't get caught this time.

Lolfully yours,
Lyzz :P

98. Do you like pie?

2008-11-12T11:54:00.004+08:00

lol. Watched a youtube video of Obama, and he likes pie.

Obama: "I like pie. You like pie too?"

...yes, I do. I like pie. Buko (Coconut) Pie. Lol.

I'm sorry for not replying to your tags and not relinking you. I am not able to do so at the moment as I am blocked access to my blog by my parents who know almost nothing about blogging. Blogging isn't all trash and stuff, lol. Seriously.

Anyway, I found a loophole to this whole thing, and I am attempting to do it. If it succeeds, well, you'll find out soon.

Yes, the last sentence sounds like I'm gonna hack something, but no, it doesn't involve such things. It's very simple, even my bro can do it.

Too bad the loophole can't apply to my access to the fanforum. Now I'm all miserable again. :(

Auf Wiedersehen,
Mariel (will be signing in a different name soon as part of the loophole plan)

Meh!

2008-10-28T13:40:00.002+08:00

Hallo all!

TJC-Expose (with a thingy on top) Night:
It went well, I guess...but I was tired-out afterwards. Finale was funny, with Jing Shi tripping(or slipping?) at one part. And the choir performance? Well, some tripped during the second song (Xin Ying, you know who I am talking about! ^^)...and I was smiling like complete idiot, andI dunno if it was worth it.

There was some person I resented during the rehearsals...she was such a nag. She acts like she's one of the choir comittee, and she's such a killjoy. I bet she hates me so for being such a crazy person in choir. I mean, I have to be crazy in choir, or else I'll die of boredom! Seriously!

I hope she doesn't read this.....

...but now I'm too happy to be angry with anyone! ^^

Con3 retreat:
It was an awesome experience! ^^
Besides the Praise and Worship sessions, which was lots of fun and wasn't a waste of my energy, well, the other activities were nice. Especially the pray-over. I've never experience so much joy and peace in my entire life. ^^

I bet no one will understand this feeling. But He will. :D

Report book-stuffs:
Was pulled down by my AMath marks. Which means one thing: I have to work very hard.

There is this one conspiracy going on about the grading for a certain person in our class, who just came in in the second semester. She was able to have high grades just 'coz her grades in the first semester when she was in class 3a1 (which was pretty high, I bet) was combined with her grades in the second semester, wich means she gets nice-high grades, which is unfair for most of us who worked hard and were in the e-class since the start of the year!

...And still quite irked by the point that someone like me with no mother tongue can be beaten by a *ehem* just because they have high marks in mother tongue! If they have such high marks, why don't they go for higher mother tongue? It's not much competition for the people in their mother tongue class if they're so good at it already, they should be moving on to a higher level!

...and besides, having higher mother tongue gives good perks, according to my education-system research. They can give you a 2-point bonus in the 'O' levels...and I'm not kidding.

So, why should they stick having a medium level (no offence, ok?), when they can go for higher mother tongue?

Lol, I think I should go for a debate club when I go to a JC. And I mean 'if' I go to a JC. Lol!

Holiday Homework!:
>Biology - 25% done!
>AMath - 0% done
>EMath - 0% done

Miscellaneous stuff!:
Must think positive, no matter how bleak the future might be. LOL!

The not-so-obvious things make the biggest problems.

Sayonara!
Mariel

it's a double post!

2008-10-22T09:36:00.002+08:00

96.

I still remember I have a lot to talk about. Meh.

My typing speed: about 40 words per minute. :D

My TwilightMS characters: LyzziAnne [Chief Bandit] - lvl82
Lyzzie125 [Ice/Lightning Wizard] - lvl 48

Mood: Obnoxious, Melancholic, Bored, Oblivious.

Thinking of: Continuing fanfic, do report on the LNS, making a dA, finish my OC, vacation.

Wants to write on: rants, politics, and a lot of other stuff.

WHY CAN'T I HAVE AN INTERESTING, EXCITING LIFE?

Signin' off,
Mariel

Events and other stuffs.

2008-10-22T09:13:00.003+08:00

95th post...but I won't celebrate yet until it's a 100.

I still got lots to do.

TASKS(KSKSKSKS):

>very late b-day gift-art for amanda (2% done)

>also late b-day gift-art for michael (0% done)

>blogskin for moi (1% done)

>numbuh 2 fanfic (20% done, can be posted on fanfic.com already.)

>another knd fanfic (10% done)

>finish working on my knd character (50% done)

>work on the holiday homework (0% done)

>review, review, review! (????)

On to business.

I'm reporting in at school, on one of the school's pcs. They work darn slow, but it'll have to do. Besides, I still have modem-hunting to do at home.

Dang, the people here in the back are noisy. No wonder Anh moved her seat somewhere in the front.

I've heard noisier. Lol.

Yesterday we went to the Discovery Centre and Army museum. I tell you, the army museum is uber cool, dude. Seriously. You should check out their Object theatre...the show would've been even more awesome if the people there wouldn't be such noisy cowards.

Such idiots.

Random note:

RAWR:

Really

Annoying

Whiners

aRe idiots.

Ugh, how can the KND production team come up with such good acronyms?

XY has an online-shopping thingy, or whatever they call it. PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.

Koenigsberg = Kingsberg. My german never fails me, unless in an exam. ^^

My tagalog is better. Hah.

Youth Rally last Saturday was fun. It wasn't a waste of time and energy...Plus there was this cool priest from Philippines who came to had this very interesting talk...which I forgot what it is about.

...too bad One Way wasn't in their song list. *takes note that One Way is a must for all Praise and Worship sessions, until people are sick of hearing the song*

Huy is gonna top the class this year. And I have this weird gut feeling that my results is gonna be awful. And my gut feeling hasn't been wrong yet...or has it?

Meh, my intuition is weird.

I gotta go, otherwise I am gonna get caught.

Auf Wiedersehen,

Mariel (some say my name sounds german. how would i know where my parents derived my name from?)

private servers, blogskins and a whole lotta detective stories.

2008-10-15T18:27:00.002+08:00

creative title, eh?

uhm...never mind if i said that.

1st and foremost, happy belated birthday to michael.

that adds up to my to do list:
>very late b-day gift-art for amanda
>also late b-day gift-art for michael
>blogskin for moi (put off a lot of times)
>numbuh 2 fanfic
>another knd fanfic (lol, lotsa fanfic to do..argh)
>finish working on my knd character, which is (still!) being edited on gimp...('coz I don't have photoshop)
>work on the holiday homework (which won't start until the holidays start)
>review, review, review!

2ndly, anyone can help me on making a web-design for the class website (see class web link for details)? it really needs refurbishing...seriously. only then i can publicly announce its presence in class.

probably you have noticed a whole lot of activities devoted to my knd fandom...can't help it, since now i have nothing else to alleviate my boredom. and besides, where else can i share my fandom to?

...............................
private server?
i'm currently downloading twilight-maplestory...a private server on maple global. why did i decide to come back on maple even though i swore that i wouldn't be involved with it again?
...because, my brother lured me bcak in. he told me he'd give me meso if i came back. so i did. but he only came in for one week...and like the first time i played maple, i got stuck on it again.
...oh why am i like this?

blogskins?
yup, i know michael and xin ying jumped on the blogskin-making bandwagon (lol!)...i decided to have a go at it again (even after my failed attempt a long time ago). it proved to be very hard work. perhaps i'll go over the basics of html first. then i'll head on to business.
...but for now, i'll hang on to my current blogskin. i like it purple-ness.

whole lotta detective stories?
...the first detective story i read was a sherlock holmes book, which i forgot the name of, which i borrowed from my cousin. i got hooked on it, and my hooked-ness was continued when i read the hound of the baskervilles, another sherlock holmes book given to me by my aunt. then i took a long break from detctive stories....a very long break.
...i went to the library at pasir ris. nothing but love stories, love stories, love stories...and not much of the other genres. i only managed to get hold of a detective story at the children's section (seems like they have more variety of genres, lol), which was half moon investigations, written by the same author who wrote artemis fowl (:D).
...and this inspired me on my numbuh 2 fanfic...and for the rest of the story, i guess only knd fans will understand. xD

..........................
i wasn't so satisfied with my exam results. i even doubt that it was my work, and i even doubt the marking system of it. except biology, of this i know how it goes.

i doubt i'll get into the top 3. with these results, i bet i won't be on stage next speech day. so much for girls beating boys.

*hits wall*

i guess i still have a bit of resentment for michael young, for beating me on a lot of things. i dunno, i just couldn't accept it. it's like amanda being upset being beaten in english. or me being beaten by someone like ashwin in biology (mid-year exams).

i don't understand things. where could i had gone wrong?

is everything i know wrong?

has the world turned against me?

has it turned upside down?

most importantly, am i where i am supposed to be?

random question: am i in the right dimesnion? xD

did things happen the way they do now just because of a phrase i uttered last semester: "i give up!"?

i guess things are just too complex for me.

.........................................
i gotta go. otherwise i'll get caught on my escapade today.

sayonara,
mariel

I am weird.

2008-09-30T14:58:00.003+08:00

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Who knew that some F1 race car drivers are so darn cute! (not crushing yet, though.) ...I guess it's the F1 fandom settling in.

...The guys I'm referring to are cute, in my opinion.

..But Nigel Uno (Numbuh 1 in Codename: Kids Next Door) is still cuter. Hah.

Anyway, on to business.

EXAM RA[n]TING (whee.)

English Paper 1 [Status: Done!]: Still thinking. It'll be a disaster.

Social Studies [Status: Done!]: My hand hurt throughout the paper. I missed a couple-a points, a sure recipe for my doom.

English Paper 2 [Status: Oncoming 03/10]: Still thinking of practicing compre, and getting some tips from my mom, after a stunning discovery last night.

EMath Paper 1&2 [Status: Oncoming 03/10 & 08/10]: Still, practice or prepare for doom.

Biology [Status: Oncoming 06/10]: Memorization work...killing...me...*faints*

Geography [Status: Oncoming 06/10]: Whyyyyyy does it always have to be the hard ones?

Amath Paper 1&2 [Status: Oncoming 07/10 & 09/10]: Doom. Doom. Doom. Doom. Go home and practice your work instead of reading this blog.

Chemistry [Status: Oncoming 08/10]: Chemistry! Mrs koh better have nothing difficult on this one.

Physics [Status: Oncoming 09/10]: Physics. Hammer your head time.

This idiot has not recovered from her F1 fandom, and never will.

Fandoms I'm in:
> Invader Zim fan
> Codename: Kids Next Door gihugic fan
> F1 racing fan
> Electric fan
> Ceiling fan
> Airconditioner

Ok. I have more fandoms that this, but those unlisted fandoms are just plain ridiculous.

Jobs I want to do:
> Astronaut
> Doctor
> Scientist
> President of some country!
> Activist?
> F1 driver
> Photographer
> Animator
> Cartoonist
> Writer (of a book)
> Journalist (their jobs are fun, I guess.)
> Scriptwriter (movie or a series)
> Erm...sniper? (lol. :D)

Uhm, today's list day, huh?

Never mind. *walks out*

Signin' off!
*salute*
Mariel

exam week. ah the misery.

2008-09-29T14:48:00.002+08:00

Belated birthday greetings to Amanda. Was not able to sms you as my phone was "abandoned" the whole day...and besides the fact that I was being bossed around the whole day and was subjected to the biasness of my parents...you'll get the point eventually.

EXAM RA[n]TING (whee.)

English Paper 1 [Status: Done!]: I'm sure to flunk it. The fact that my situational writing was rushed (as usual) and that my section 1 compo was not well written out. The section one was kinda a "sequel" (How do i get to do these things, seriously?) of my compo at the Mid-year Exams. I don't think the marker will get around to this fact...I bet the readers reading now won't also. I'll type out my first and second compo papers when they get out, which I'll bet will be real soon.

Social Studies [Status: Pending]: Studying right now. Studied also last night (mostly a read-through) until the F1 telecast started (let the whole world know I'm an F1 fan. :D). Afterwards I read it again, and was bored until I slept. I woke up this morning with the book on the floor. Blah.

English Paper 2 [Status: Oncoming 03/10]: Compre is one of my weakest points. Yes, I know the definition of this word and that, and I understand the whole story, but I don't know how t express my thoughts into words. I'm a weird person, lol.

EMath Paper 1&2 [Status: Oncoming 03/10 & 08/10]: I'm gonna need a lot of practice on my Math, and I need to brush up on Properties of Circles. Prepare for lots of doom. :D

Biology [Status: Oncoming 06/10]: I guess the MCQs will be a breeze, but that is something I wouldn't be proud of (full marks on the MCQs). I have to study, study, study, memorize and a lot of other stuff. With the essays and the structured questions, I'm sure to be KO'd.

Geography [Status: Oncoming 06/10]: Ms Choo said the exam would be mainly on Food Geography, which is my weakest point. I wish it would've been Natural Vegetation or Development Indicators instead...I never get the easy ones...-_-"

Amath Paper 1&2 [Status: Oncoming 07/10 & 09/10]: Prepare for even more doom. I'm gonna need all the help I need for Partial Fractions and that Trigonometry thing. There are still a lot of things I don't and probably will never understand, like why the heck am I learning this.

Chemistry [Status: Oncoming 08/10]: The way I learn Chemistry is different from how other people teach me, so there. I better go practice that mole-thing.

Physics [Status: Oncoming 09/10]: I hope Mr Lew will make it a tad easy like last time. Light, Measurement, Molecular properties and other stuff, I'll guess I'll be OK, but it's just that speed thing I won't get to understand. I better ask my parents about this.

F1 Racing thoughts

AWWWWW CRUD. There were a lot of mishaps during the race, which were all crashes (kaboom!). In the end, Alonso won. Disappointed that neither Massa nor Raikonnen (sp?) won, but was satisfied that Hamilton at least got a third. Man, that guy was faaaaast. I seriously wish I could drive that fast, or be a racecar driver, for that matter. Girls can race too, don't ya know? It's just that some aren't so into it, most are only obsessed with other stuff.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I wish my life is exciting, and wasn't so mundane. I mean, I'm not really sure what I want it my life right now, the only thing I'm sure of is that I want it to be interesting. No, I'm not wishing for something like having an exciting job like a rocket scientist (ok, maybe I do.)...I just want something out of this life that is, well, interesting.

'coz nothing in this life interests me. (A la "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, which I recommend as a must-watch anime. Kyon is cuuute :D)

I'm bored. Not even sports or something creative will alleviate this boredom.

Signin' off,
Mariel (who is still bored at the moment)

i'm dangerous. sinister smile

2008-09-21T19:32:00.003+08:00

beware: i'm crazy and kick very hard.

(posted for the fun of it. i'm suffering from boredom right now. raaaagh.)

let's post some photograph(s) for no apparent reason!

"big sister" is watching you. *insert evil laugh here*

i'm out of ideas.

signin' out
mariel :D

90th post!

2008-09-20T12:38:00.002+08:00

90th post! hurrah!

nothing to say much today...except exams are coming!

to all my 3e1 peeps: here's something for ya!

From class stuff

...all can be found in my picasa page:

CLICK HERE!

...sayonara!
-mariel

[I'm not advertising anything! Really!]

bored.

2008-09-07T21:19:00.003+08:00

(drew this one on mspaint, 'coz i was bored.)

i'm really bored.
it doesn't help either when school starts tomorrow.
grr.

hmm...i wonder.

i've never felt any more bored in my entire life.
oh the monotony.

oh yeah, i'm no talented artist. this style i'm drawing was borrowed from some guy in deviantart who have dang-awesome animating skills, and i'm currently trying out this style in my version. i still have to find other styles though.

i can't draw very well, i just like to scribble stuff when i'm bored.
for the exception of xin ying's birthday pic...and some project i've been working on.

gotta go. i still have work to do.

signin' off,
mariel

Whee!

2008-09-04T16:42:00.003+08:00

First of all:
Happy Birthday Xin Ying!
I drew a picture (I drew it on 28 Aug...Only now was I bothered to do a bit on the lineart and colouring...I still say my drawing skills are pathetic on mouse, and I guess it might be worse if I had a tablet PC...waaaah.)

Oh well...at least I tried. :D

Onwards to other business.

I watched Wall·E on Sunday...I'd say it was a good movie...me liked it. I like how it's somehow subtle message that isn't "preachy" like those other pro-green stuff...
I like the cleaner robot..."M-O"...he's cute. :D

...I didn't go for choir yesterday. Elder sibling business. Ha.

Will put more stuff soon. Let my phone load stuff into my PC first...And let me finish cooking my afternoon snack. :P

signin' off,
Mariel

erm. yeah.

2008-08-30T11:19:00.004+08:00

The post that's supposedly here isn't here, 'coz this one's also rushed.

whatever. i'm not feeling emo like last time, but i'm still quite, miserable. perhaps i'm just homesick.

err, wait, i am.

tonight btss' choir is out on a concert, this includes me...but, i'm not the most important person on this affair.

i somehow hate some of the leaders on choir, the only thing they do is to take attendance and take out the choir scores. and nag, even though they do the same thing also. i know they're not perfect and stuff, but...heck, i'm just confused.

there is also one person i hate the most in choir. i don't really understand why she hates me or tries to avoid me and the target of her naggings and stuff...i've been nice to her, ok? i can't remember a single day i've shown my hatred to her...although last year, i've been ignoring most of the juniors but that doesn't make much of a difference. have i intimidated her? perhaps only when i leave school, i will know.

[warning: offensive stuff below]
i dunno what's been going on with amanda lately. she seems rather cold to me...except perhaps when we're on the same bus...i think she's been ignoring me and stuff unless she's got something to ask me on schoolwork, i dunno.
i don't even think i'm in her "circle of friends", but that fact doesn't faze me that much. the only thing i'm worried about is if she hates me for, i dunno, getting some marks higher than her, or if she goes too emo she might, i dunno, i don't want to talk about it.

marks are just marks, it doesn't define how awesome your personality is. there might be a couple of people who's smart, but their personality are just plain despicable, there are others who are not so smart, but they're awesome to be with.
even if you don't succeed in school, you can even succeed in other stuff. i've heard of several successful people who haven't even finished school, and they have lots of money, but that doesn't mean you give up on it entirely.
and while i might sort-of hate huy for getting higher marks than me, the hatred's not so serious, we're friends, although i make fun of him most of the time, lol. (soyabean milk!)

the world doesn't revolve on anyone. except perhaps God, 'coz well, he created the world. you might feel ignored on that certain moment, but you don't really know how's it like to be ignored most of the time! you're not like me who struggles to stay in the group, fearing to be isolated...yes, the whole world knows now, i fear being isolated.

you've never felt what i felt duing those past few months, especially on the first few months of this school year. you can even check my diary on it. your feelings are nothing compared to mine, whcih i have been keeping since, i dunno, i was young, just to keep the people i love happy.
you never felt the hatred, the anger i felt, when someone robbed my house in philippines of those hard-earned stuff...you never felt what it's like being bullied by people just 'coz you looked chinese and fat in a school where there were rarely international students who came it.
lastly, you never felt how much stress i've been facing, just to keep my parents (and relatives) proud of me...i fear being shamed of and failing everything i worked so hard for.

you dunno what it's like to be like me. you might think your life's a nightmare. you think you're life's awful. you think you're being treated as invisible. wait 'til you see life in my shoes.

social reject? i've been one since secondary school began, and had been trying hard to get me out of it.
you can't really blame me for not going to those parties though. as much as i want to go, i can't. i don't want to disobey my parents, 'coz i know it's wrong (and also disobeying the commandments)...it's like telling your parents straight in the face that you hate them, and although sometimes i just hate them telling me what to do and what not to do, i can't be here where i am without them, i wouldn't be the person who strives hard to not only make them proud, but to strive hard for my goal: to be a professional doctor. or a scientist, i haven't made up my mind yet.

you can't make everything your way. nothing in life is fair, not even the rite awards ceremony, on which i refused to believe that i got rite award, i refused the idea of me getting that award, 'coz i know that i don't deserve it, i'm not asking for praise and rewards or pity here.

nothing in life goes anyone's way, not even billionnaires.

[/end rant]

well. i guess that's out of the system. there's still a lot to go.

and xin ying, i'll try to be less emo. :D

auf wiedersehen,
mariel

[edit 1 September 2008: I am not on anybody's side on this part. While my side seems similar to XY's side, I'm not entirely supporting hers, nor am I supporting Amanda's. Please understand that, like always, my loyalties are always stuck in the middle.

But that doesn't mean I'm neutral.

thnks. bye. those c3 idiots won't know what hit them. I said nothing! *whistles innocently*]

>.> <.<

2008-08-25T17:33:00.002+08:00

linked all the people for the tagboard, although i know some links haven't been updated yet.

beijing olympics' closing ceremony wasn't as awesome as the opening ceremony. you might say otherwise, i don't really care.

i guess they just rushed it through and paid more attention to the opening ceremony, i dunno. don't ask me, i am not one of the organizers.

i have a lot of work to do...
>finish a little sketch-thing for someone
>homework *faints*
>studyyyyyyy
>something for my desk...it seems so bare.
>err...most awesome class desk design competition?
>iron my uniform
>something, i forgot.

and i feel so stressed. i wonder how huy ever keeps up with the mess. i dunno, i think i am gonna die in this place by stress. i'm even guessing students face more stress than their parents. i dunno if it's fair, though, each has good sides to each story.

yesterday, in catechism class, there was this talk about the ten commandments, examining one's conscience (or something) and a bit about the beatitudes. afterwards we got scolding for causing a ruckus in the chapel...and amanda and i were late for warden duty due to a very long sermon about our attitude..then something about the upcoming youth rally, which lasts until around 10. i feel stressed by just this, but that's not my point.

i've been feeling self-hatred lately, and hints of...i dunno...*scrambles mind for word, but gives up*...something about giving up.
i dunno...i guess it's something about my marks and stuff. i haven't been paying much attention, and i see no motivation in school anymore.

heck, i don't really deserve that rite award. i'm more of an irresponsible, idiotic, loner...whatchamacallit. (this ain't my emo mood yet, i can go even more emo.)

i have no control over my emotions, i've let my temper out of control lately. i don't like how scary i look when i'm angry, how my eye twitches when i'm very furious and stuff...i don't like it...it makes me do things i'm not quite aware of and will try not to do if i'm pretty much in a good mood...plus my uncrontrollable mouth which starts saying vulgarities at random moments...it's more of a somehow-impulse-thingy...i dunno.

i guess i'm not ok. no, i'm not sick, but i just don't feel well.

*bonks head into wall*

they said self hatred is somehow killing my own spirit. i dunno anymore.

i need my crazy back. even though you've seen me crazy the past few days, that wasn't crazy-crazy, that was forced-crazy. just so you know.

even though craziness might mean me not thinking straight, 'coz all i've been thinking about is heading for another dead end.

anyway, ending this post.

oh yeah, expect another rant on people on my next post. things might just look a bit messy. so to clear my head, which is polluted with problems. *cough*

sayonara,
mariel -_-"

hello again, my little compy.

2008-08-22T16:45:00.002+08:00

sorry to people who i haven't linked yet. i will link you, but now isn't the time. probably when i'm not rushing on a post.

i'm not supposed to be blogging, my parents object to the whole idea. it doesn't make anything better especially if your mother is someone who gets suspicious easily or your brother is such a suck-up, wanting to be parents' pet, wanting me to be in trouble sometimes...but he can be quite sweet most of the time. i guess that's just how youngest siblings behave, or is it just me?

oh yeah. my parents objecting to the whole blogging thing. they have this certain mindset that most bloggers are just immature fools who write nonsense. ok, i'll say some people actually do that.

but not all bloggers are immature idiots. and not all blogs are filled with sick stuff, and blogs aren't mostly owned by emos.

not all bloggers are like the ones you read in the newspaper who get jailed 'coz they wrote something...err, rude, or something.

i blog because i want to. i have rights, do i?

blogging is not wrong, as long as you use it the right way.

though i'm not sure if i am using it the right way. am i?

i dunno. i guess it's up to the reader to decide.

anyways...i still have a lot more to say, but i must be off!

adios, 'till the next post,
mariel (posting in the tagboards as !Lolzx~MarielAnnE...why such a ridiculous name? i dunno also.)

ehehehe...

2008-08-09T22:41:00.003+08:00

you see the post below? yes, i just posted it minutes ago.

i was really angry. i couldn't scribble it in my "purple notebook" 'coz, it ran out of pages *sobs*.

but come to think of it, nothing good comes out when you tackle stuff in an angry way. should've taken stuff more calmly.

i am hoping not to do something like this one day. and hope never to hear another vulgarity to come from my bro's mouth.

what do they teach in schools nowadays?

oh yeah, one qn: if you were elected as president/prime minister/queen/*insert ruler title* of some country(choose from: china, singapore, usa, united kingdom), what changes will you do to that country?

...and that was one random question from the mind of...umm...*insert poster's name here*. hoping to see results soon.

see ya,
mariel.

oh yeah, something for people to kill the time: CLICK HERE!

hello.

2008-08-09T21:46:00.002+08:00

before i start this post, i would like to say that whatever i express in this post are in my own opinions, it may be kinda on the extremes in one way...and this post may be out of the ordinary posts i make.

oh yeah, and on the beijing olympics, go team singapore and team philippines! i support you guys ^^

now on to the story.

you see, something happened in friday that made my temper flare up a bit. i mean my usual tempers would be like occasional rainshowers, but this one was a typhoon. when i got to the scolding part, i knew my eyes were twitching furiously. no, it doesn't mean i have stroke or whatever, my eyes always twitch on extreme emotions...except perhaps joy. yup.

i know you hate me. no need to keep it a secret. i know it by your actions. i know also of your hatred against some of the people i hang out with. how do i know this? i got my associates, lol.
...no, i'm not trying to say that you should be scared, or anything.

...and oh yeah, the feeling of hatred is mutual. i do hide it sometimes...and sometimes the hatred starts to disappear when you're more or less agreeable, but it all comes back when you complain this or that, or act like an immature idiot (more worse than me), or act like you're some ruler of the world or something, or act like a total snob. seriously. it's annoying, in a bad sense of way.

i know you hate me. i couldn't tell why. is it 'coz i get higher marks than you? it doesn't mean i'm smart...one person doesn't get high marks when he is just smart. being intelligent is wasted when you don't put in effort to keep improving yourself, really, i know, 'coz i learn from my past mistakes (and gets continually hammered in the head [not literally] 'coz of my parents.)...i know you have gotten high marks in your psle, but that doesn't mean you have to be so complacent.
and besides, that thing you do in amath class on you trying to drop amath...it's still in its approval stage, dimwit, it doesn't mean you have to stop learning amath entirely. and just 'coz you failed amath in mye in sec3 means the end of the world, it's only the beginning.

secondly, i know you got a lot of friends. i'm not envying you of that, neither of your so-called "popularity". but please, don't use them like they're your minions or something. or ask them to learn to hate someone like me just 'coz you hate me. and don't throw away your other friends like they're old toys. i know how it feels to be ignored, and i've kinda ignored others too in my trying to move out of my "comfort zone"...but seriously. ever since your best friend left, you moved to a new clique. what of you old friends who used to hang out with you? left in the dust. despicable, indeed.

and i know you told one new person in our class to stay away from people like, say, me and my friends? that's not very nice. really. i know we have been quite friendly to new peeps, i guess...i dunno what's going on with your head, really. insecure? that's not an acceptable excuse.

...and your obsession with this one dude in class, even if the guy doesn't like you? seriously. i even pity the guy involved.

plus your constant complaining. waaah, i have to survive every weekday in school hearing your constant complaining. you hate this teacher, this teacher's lousy, books too expensive, what next? ok, i might share the same views bout this teacher, but this teacher's assigned to us and we, the students, can't do anything about it. you don't always get what you want in real life. and who said life was fair?
teacher always absent? ok fine, she's absent most of the time, but instead of trying to learn something on your own while she's gone, what do you do? talk noisily with your gang like it's nobody's business. hello, consideration please? other people are trying to study here, plzthnx.
...but sometimes, i'm quite noisy when the teacher's gone. i know that and you know that. so i guess i'm gonna shut my mouth about this.
books and stuff too expensive? i heard in your country have cheap education, why don't you go back there? if you complain about the stuff here in school, why are you in singapore anyway? i know i hate the boredom here, but there are a couple of stuff that makes me wanna stay here...and its confidential.

...and yeah, bring an extra "sandwich" for emergencies. it's not that heavy, anyway.

....i know this will start a flame war. but i just wanna try to make my point here.
...but that doesn't mean i'm waging war. it's hard to explain everything, if only i was able to express stuff telepathically.

...i'd like a quiet time to myself, for now. i'm feeling quite sick today, and you won't like it if you mess with me on a "feeling-sick" day.

...so i don't want to see:
>flame messages on my tagboard
>your cronies flaming me on the tagboard
>you and/or your cronies flaming me via handphone
>you and/or your cronies ganging up on me in school.
>you and/or your cronies acting in some kind of way that's somehow offending
>and a lot of other stuff that could be a consequence of the stuff expressed in this post.

...and before people ask me whoever the person is that i'm talking about, well, let's talk about it in a more private space, ok?

sincerely don't want to get in a word war,
mariel
[please grant me peace, thank you.]

yo.

2008-08-04T16:18:00.006+08:00

heh. i decided to post, since my blog is quite...quiet.

it needs more ruckus.

i really need to have a schedule. i can't go on having to forget this and that...and lose track of this...i'm sick of being scolded. i really am.

i think i'm being deaf with all these yapping, shouting and all this crud. especially if it's the same people every time nagging until you die of...well...nagging boredom.

i am so bored, you know that?

oh ya, look at my very cluttered desk. awesome, no?

but it's supposed to be neat and tidy, like this:

ahh...the sweet mystery of life. ^^

oh yes, dun mind the border on the background of the two pix...it was already there when i went here...never bothered to change it.

now to resume my project-making.

-mariel

thoughts from a forgotten kid

2008-07-21T16:51:00.002+08:00

"complacency is for idiots.
don't be an idiot." -meh, i just thought of it.

"don't panic" - hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

you know what? it seemed like the whole world forgot me altogether. like i was in an alternate universe (parallel dimension? i've only been reading on the first few partls of "mostly harmless" by douglas adams [yes, that guy who wrote hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.], and i'm already hooked.) where i didn't exist.

of course, since no one would probably read this anyway, i'd probably should post something offending for a change, hmm?
...unfortunately, that's against my conscience. crazy people have consciences too.

so. onward to business. i have an itinerary to do. i'd be doomed if i didn't finish this.

i couldn't say i'm sick of being a loner, 'coz i'm not sick of it,
nor do i like it.
i couldn't say i want your attention, 'coz i don't want too much attention,
but that doesn't mean you should probably leave me alone.
i might not stick to your ideals,
and you on mine...
but there's no such thing as a perfect match,
as to have everything the same
or to have everything different...
i hope you'd understand,
'coz i might not understand you and the way you act, think or do
and i know you might not understand why i do this and that.
'coz we have our own different directions in life,
i don't know where your's or mine leads
but as a friend, i'll try to help, to see it in your way
but i might not be much help
'coz, hey, i'm a human too, i'm not perfect,
and neither are you.
and as much as i have no right to judge you and govern you
you don't control me, i don't control you
but what i'm really trying to say is...

i cut it to here...yes, i did write this on my own...just typed stuff randomly [that's my style of blogging]...and voila! instant poem. xD
...but it's on your own how to end this thingymajig, it's yours to decide what i'm trying to tell you.
anyway, it wouldn't be much purpose as nobody ever comes to this blog [i feel so discouraged *sob*]...but i do not seek popularity. it is something i couldn't handle.

...but anyway.

see ya on the flip side, whatever that means,
mariel

STATUS
mood: melancholic.
wants: pie
:P

BLAH.

2008-07-15T11:14:00.000+08:00

busy doing work...

i want go sleep.

today is so boring. no michael young to make fun of teachers and stuff...or to irritate.

blah.

signin' off,

mariel

blog three-point-oh up and a-going.

2008-07-11T21:15:00.001+08:00

testing, testing...

yes i changed blogskin...for the fun of it.

...and it's purple.

bye!

-mariel

idiots come from space...

2008-06-30T09:56:00.002+08:00

hello.

i'm not gonna blog as often as before.

i can't access the internet that often like before.

...so how did i get here? simple: school computer.

but i'm not gonna exploit this privilege. not in a million years.

...ok, maybe i am exploiting it. you got me guilty as charged. whatever.

s'okay.

we got that clear, right?

i won't be blogging that often. got it?

...but, please. it doesn't mean you have to desert my tagboard. i don't want my tagboard to be a waste of bandwidth.

but this doesn't mean you can spam it.

gotta go, i've got a project to do.

sayonara,
mariel :P

random survey, foo'!

2008-05-30T22:23:00.003+08:00

QUIZ!
A) people who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
B) tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. these people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.continue this game by sending it to other people. (ok, i got it! >.<)

#1 if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
>get on with life and act like nothing happened.

#2 if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
>going to mars, then afterwards build a house there...away from civilisation!

#3 if there is a choice between boyfriend and friends,which will you choose?
>friends. 'coz...whatever.

#4 what kind of home do you think is suitable for living?
>no cockroaches and rodents and all those filth.

#5 what's your ideal lover like?
>smart, and respects me and likes me for who i am. period.

#6 which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
>isn't that like the question "which is better: to give or to receive?"?...i say both.

#7 How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
>i dunno.

#8 if the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
>wait, and get on with life while i'm on it.

#9 is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
>too much.

#10 is being tagged fun?
>i dunno. no reaction.

#11 how do you see yourself in ten years time?
>i don't see the future, thank you very much.

#12 who are currently the most important people to you?
>1st of all is God ^^...2nd goes to my family and friends.

#13 what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
>i've been tagged by many, but i'm not so popular as you think!
...they're ok, i guess. xD...i mean, they're fun and all...

#14 would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
>i dunno. and i don't care.

#15 what's the first thing you do every morning?
>get out of bed, duh.

#16 would you sacrifice your family time to enjoy with friends?
>even if i would dread it, nope.

#17 what is the thing that you cant bear to leave it aside?
>i dunno. i haven't thought of that. ask me 7 years later.

#18 what type of friends do you like?
>FUN, understanding, loyal, honest ones. ^^

#19 what type of friends do you dislike?
>BORING, demanding, unloyal, backstabbing, dishonest friends. rawr.

tagged by; amanda and joanna ^^
8 (un[?])lucky persons who are going to be tagged:
>XinYing
>JingShi
>Michael
>Esther
>Shane
>YOU
>YOU
>YOU (i ran out of ideas.)
^^

and so ends the survey.

this ends today?

2008-05-13T16:10:00.002+08:00

[one day before camp...i don't wanna die of boredom yet...]

...but i've already died of failure. i'm such a failure. my mid-year exam results suck, and i hear people rejoice of my failure....not that i spy on people, i just sense it.

...yeah, i do suck. and i still have german to face the results with.

...but yes, i didn't fail any subject. seriously. but...

>my amath was a lucky pass (seriously!)

>my emath was...well, badder than usual. (but better than something i would get in sec1)

>my social studies was good, i got the highest, but i could have done it better. good thing i wrote a lengthy one at the mushroom question. :P

>my geography was...well, ok, but i really could have done it better. looking from now, i know the answers, but i just panic at the sight of the paper...and the pressure of exams. let's just hope my ca can pull me up out of this...erm...eh *loss of words to say*?

>...so: my combined humanities was a b3. got beaten up by *mumbles person's name*...grr.

>my chem was...i didn't expect it to turn up that way. i had a few careless mistakes here and there...yeah. i need to work on the density blah blah thingymajig. but there was this one part that puzzled me the most...

>my physics...i guess i could've studied on it a bit more...especially the acceleration part. then i could've gotten full marks on it *wink wink nudge nudge*

>combined science: erm. no comment.

>my bio was a disappointment. i marked my otas form wrong (d was a c...and i knew it! >.<)...my essay was sucky. more details?

>my english:
composition: didn't believe a cliche story can actually get me away with it. that composition pulled up my marks. thank my detective story loving cousins...and some of the flash animations i've watched and the flash animation story ideas i've been thinking of. my letter writing kinda sucked, though, 'coz i poured all my time on the free writing...i love writing stories.
oral:thank you, miss toh! ^^
comprehension: if it weren't for my summary i could've flunked it.

>german: ich weiß nicht...aber ich weiß, daß es ein Ausfall ist.(use a translator for this, plzthnx.)

...so in conclusion: it was worse than i thought.

i better get cracking if i don't want to have another failure.

...but i'll go for my holidays first. too much work is bad for you. ^^

...so.

>>HOLIDAY AJEN-DUH<<

1. get as much sleep as i can have (this won't be a problem)
2.train my grandchase+trickster online account.
3.finish storyline for comic series. yum.
4.start working on my comic project series,
5....and work on my sketching.
6.persuade parents to buy adobe flash and (by bro-mide's request) rct3.
7.learn html and css...
8....and soon make my own blogskin!
9.upload new music to my phone.
10.slim down.
11.go cycling.
12.ask parents to book bbq pit to bbq,duh. :P
13.ask parents if i can come to clique bbq party(?)
14.do holiday homework. NO CRAMMING AT THE LAST MINUTE.
15.work on my physics, chem and the two mathstuffs.

...that's a long list, but it's more fun than going to school (with the exception of the last two points.)

...i still have camp tomorrow, and i have to go for that digital video editing course. this video editing course is something i really need right now, since my parents give me the duty of editing videos when we are on an outing or going to an important event.

...i am waiting to get paid. :P

...gotta go pack my stuff. hoping to cross out most, if not, all of the things on my "holiday ajen-duh"

...and if possible, add more stuff to the list.

impending doom countdown: one night to go...goodbye my comfy bed, i'm gonna miss ya.

see ya!
-mariel

i'm soooooo sleepy.

2008-05-08T14:11:00.002+08:00

"exams on my birthday. perfect."-me

yes, it was my birthday yesterday. everything was almost perfect, except for the fact that i have german test tomorrow. grr.

...even if there was still exams on my birthday, it was okay...
...even if some people forgot my birthday, it's okay...

...what i only need now is some sleep. i feel woozy after all those exams.
...and rain...i just want it to rain heavily.

okays, on to business. *stretches, yet eyes are still sleepy*

anyone know why i feel like i just took some medicine which makes me completely drowsy?
does anyone know something i don't? 'coz it's beginning to get weird around here.

i'll try to post back some other time when i'm not so sleepy.

*slacks off*

-mariel

and they say silence makes people crazy.

2008-04-30T14:06:00.004+08:00

"new effective way to make people crazy: make them busy during exam week."-me. lol.

what the heck am i doing, blogging during exam week?
don't worry, it's labor (spelled without a u) day tomorrow. although i better get cracking on my biology notes.

*fictional bio notes tear into half* darn it.

...anyway, yesterday had this nyaa ceremony. i was very tired when i got home...but i still had to do my social studies notes. i slept at around 11...

...and i had the most awesome dream ever (in my humble opinion), lol. only to be interrupted by my alarm clock telling me to move my butt of the bed or i'll be late for school.
...but this dream gives me no reason why i have to post it here.

so anyways...
math paper 1 is a sure fail. i haven't finished it like i did when i was in sec 2...and well, it didn't put me in the good mood. especially when you see people happy about finishing their work, especially if they're the class geniuses (crab mentality)...

...pardon me for envying other people. i dunno how to explain why get envious on such things.
...on second thought, never mind.

then social studies. i worked my hand out...and it took me four pages (three pages actually, if you didn't count the big blank between question 1d and 2a.)...my hand still hurts.

...i don't get what i would use structured essays, logarithms, surds, gravitational laws and other stuff we learn at school for. i guess for other people they just learn it for the sake of finishing school.

i don't seem to care anyway.

gotta go, i got a bus 53 to catch.

see ya,
mariel

philosophically thinking.

2008-04-25T15:47:00.002+08:00

"you only get to be a kid once"-a tv show...i won't tell the title.

philosophically-wise (or explanation-to-the-quote-above-wise):
(side note: please don't mind me differentiating adults and kids...i'm still struck at the middle, and i seriously don't think i qualify for "teenager level" yet, and i'm not qualified to be a kid or a tween either.)

i've given this quote much thought...it is true, we only get to be kids in around 30% in our lives...and we spend 10% of our lives being teenagers, and 70% being adults (i think so, just a thought, blah blah blah.)

...and remembering what i did when i was young, they were fun times...seriously.
and i still want to have that kind of fun.
that's why i try to be a kid at heart...but that doesn't equal to childishness or whatever. they're both different things.

..but have you realized that the way adults think and the way children think are almost the same? i mean, some might not noticed it...but after close observation, i found out that...
1.) adults would try anything to get something they want (e.g. latest handphone model) like the way how kids would try to get anything to make their parents buy their favorite toy (except in this case, they don't make their own money)
2.)adults still play the "blame game" like children would do ("it's all his fault!"...i confess i still do these kind of stuff)
...right now i can't think of anything else...but you do get my point, right?
...so it gives me this conclusion: no one is really "perfectly mature"

oh yeah, some people may have the qualities of a mature person, but not all of them.
...which means no one is perfect.
...but who cares? if the world is perfect, it would be a complete "bore-fest"...but too much of the imperfect stuff can be bad too...

okay, enough of this subject. i think it bores me to death.

past events-wise:
...so yeahs, the past few days i've been busy helping out in a war (and it doesn't involve real missiles, only words.) , only realizing that i dunno what the heck am i doing...and why the heck am i involved in this mess?

...and until today i still dunno the answers. *sighs*

yesterday, hamza called me...the conversation went sort of like this.
hamza: hi
me: hello
hamza: u got jess' number, right?
me: *scratches head* yes...*was gonna ask why, but was interrupted*
hamza: where did you get her number?
me:...from someone in school... *if you were where i was, you could see me smiling nervously, 'coz i was playing a game against my bro, and i didn't want to lose*
hamza: ok...
me:...so, how's school? *i know, lame question.*
hamza: it's ok...(you're boring me, man. are you sure the hamza i met at speech day?)
me:...ok.
hamza: ...ok, bye.
me: oh wait-
*line dead*

...i was gonna ask him why he asked that ("u got jess' number?"). i haven't been in touch with him for months, same for soham.
...but it is indeed weird. why would he ask a question like that?...is he hiding something?
...from the tone of his voice and his hesitation to have a small little chat, i think he is. *lol, i think i need a trenchcoat*
...but why?...that's something i might need to solve, if i'm in the mood.

...i told nikita about my little secret about the guy i liked last year (joanna probably knows this). (side note #2: why would i still keep it a secret if i had no interest in it anymore? me and my weird head.) she was like "what did you see in that guy anyway?", and i was like "i dunno..."
...after thinking it over and after that call from hamza (this doesn't imply that guy i liked was him) i thought, "what was in my head back then? what was i thinking? what did i see in that dude anyway?"

...and i thought how lucky i was that that relationship didn't continue. *phew*

ranting-wise:
*dangit, my pc hang up, and i've got no mood to rant 'coz it resetted my post, sorry for the lack of rant.*

exam-wise:
i hate it. i dread it. but it's still there, so i got nothing to do about it except to study, which is against my will (not really.)

random-thingy-wise:
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. i hate u hamza, for putting down the phone on me. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
don't worry guys, i still have my sanity.

agenda-wise:
1.) make notes (10% done)
2.) study for exams (10% done)
3.) finish drawing request by gao chao (0% done, i need inspiration like i have during chem class)
4.) watch my diet, lolz. (haha, no progress report here.)
5.) cut out blogging for a while.

so yahs, that's pretty much what i have to say.

see ya!
mariel

of raisins and other crap.

2008-04-18T15:59:00.003+08:00

"life is like a movie with a catchy soundtrack" - me on my sms to joanna

i'll never look at raisins the same way again.
i think i need a brainwash. anyone got bleach? or that "cif"-thingy they use for cleaning our desks in school?

whatever.

in my point of view, i am being ignored. or is it me who wanted to be ignored?
*thinks*...naaaah, that was a long time ago.
....but this doesn't mean i'm seeking for attention. oh no, i'm not stooping to that low a level.
...but seriously, i am being ignored. since monday i've been treated like someone invisible around a bunch of people...and i dunno why. am i missing anything? timelapse? whu-?

meh. probably this might be my cue to leave. but to where? another school? another country? another clique?

another school?:...yes, i've been considering on changing schools, and i'm thinking...somewhere where the school fees are not so expensive...you know, government-aided schools(not government-owned school)?

if anyone objects, please tell it now or forever hold your tongue...or whatever...in simpler terms, tell me if you object to this idea or not, or regret not doing it sooner or later.

another country?: i've also thought of going back to ph and study there...but some factors made me think about it again...but i have a back-up plan: i think i'll study at my mother's province at mindanao rather than going back to laguna. yes, the place is pretty much rural, but that doesn't mean it's uncivilised. you get fresh air...and you only smell smoke there either when someone's smoking or when someone cooking bbq....and the stuff there is cheaper than the country's capital area.

...and i might like the idea of studying at the same school as my cousins.
...and i wanna speak tagalog in school again. it feels weird to speak english all of a sudden, and i feel left out when people speak in a language that i don't understand which a bunch of people. i can simply just walk away or keep silent and show a forced smile, 'coz what else can i do? i'm just a pushover. (which is something i hate)
...and besides, school is funner there.

...and yes, i know some guys are already wanting me to leave. i can hear your thoughts from here...

another clique?:...no idea.

...okays, enough of that subject.

(*rebuttal round*...amanda, i know the posts trace back to you, but this doesn't mean i hate you or anything...i hope i don't make a flamewar...i positively don't want to give you another burden...i just thought about those stuff you said...it was running in my head.)
...i've been reading the tagboard. and amanda did post some thought over there...i mean, i posted it one time, but reading over it again made me think of some stuff...

(direct quoting over here)
"been reading well for now im not growing backwards..": ...okays. *awkward silence*
"and seriously im honest i just don't like ure chindishness its getting to me and stuufff"
:...okays, but can you tell me in what way? and yes, i know i'm childish and stuff. someone in pri6 told me when i was in pri6...but a lot of things does not make an immature person...but i'd like to see how you reply to my question.
"im getting more chidlish well.. im not sure wad u mean by that and on that outcasting thing..": i think you know what i mean...but for this, i won't explain for the sake of keeping the peace.
"well half the time you are busy with ure other stuff at home etc. well its hard to get u out and have a chat..":...yes, but half the time when i'm not so busy, you're the one with other stuff going on...and well...said chat couldn't be done. and msn-ing it would be awkward, in my case...i'm sorry if i don't have time with you guys...i try to have some time to be free of any work...it seems like i haven't adjusted to sg's way of life...but, well, your life is your life and my life is my life, what else can i do but to keep quiet?
"well thats all im kinda spamming(: anyways forgive me(:": don't worry, spamming my tagboard is the least of my worries...and i forgive you on that.

...now onto the blog.

"I don't really agree with you on the childish part":that's okay, different people have different opinions.
"I'm sorry if i hurt you're feelings or something":don't worry, i forgive u...i've had a lot of people who've hurt me worse before.
"But you must also understand sometimes there are things i feel like talking about...":...ok.
"*next part about the teacher and the test thing*":perhaps i take too much stuff seriously?
"...and what's you people's problem with the les thing if you can't accept it i'm really disappointed in you":...alright, alright...i might not be open-minded on such stuff, being raised up in a kind of "conservative" family...i try to be a bit more open-minded...but different people have different beliefs, what's disturbing for me might not be disturbing for you. like my view of choir and your view of choir, for example...if you're disappointed with me on such things...*resigns with a sigh*...i actually wanted to view this with a diplomatic way, but my diplomatic side has scuttled away somewhere.
"last year you used to be closer to joanna than me...i was never that close to you": true. i can't object to that...but i did try to be close to you, but perhaps we had different interests? *truth hits ppl like a million-elephant stampede*
"i mean i like you, but its hard to say some things": i understand.
"i mean you are more elite than me in many ways. like studies": shucks. i'm not that smart...i'm not that elite...a thousand more people are waaaaaay smarter than me...which is kinda the reason i try to humble myself and try to be content with passing. i don't want to be so air-headed, and i try to accept the fact when someone gets higher than me...but i'll pass out a joke on that person afterwards. lolz.
"and i was never a good leader. i just though i was good but i found out that i am not that great after all": oh yes you were...and i guess after much thought you still are... a measure of a leader's greatness is not based on popularity...i mean, you were some of the people who keep choir from chaos...even though you got scolding from ms lee...and even though you did somewhat change this year...but this does not change my respect towards you. i've always regarded and respected you as a good leader...and well...*blank head**no words to say*

[change topic, quick!]
maybe at school i'm all crazy and stuff...but i'm completely a different person when i think and when i blog...i dunno why. it's like me having different voices for different situations, call it multiple-personality disorder if you will...i like being alone and in silence...some say people go insane in these situations...but weirdly, it seems like it's where a lot of people and noisiness that i seem to be crazy...i dunno why. perhaps it is in silence where i speak a lot of words, 'coz right now, my thoughts are flowing to the keyboard like water flowing to a waterfall...i guess silence speaks a lot of words.

in unrelated news, i think i got tb...i've been coughing so much lately, with the sore throat and all, i perhaps overworked myself the past few days...or perhaps it's just bronchitis or tonsillitis or something...i wouldn't know yet.

...anyway, this is becoming too long a post, will post back sometime.

see ya,

mariel :P

rawr

2008-04-10T16:44:00.002+08:00

i haven't been sleeping well for the past few days...plus the tons of work sitting on my desk...plus going home late for speech day practice and german class...yeah. which could probably be the reason i was acting weird these past few days.

i'm sooo sleepy but i can't sleep...the pile of work is calling me...

there's been flamewars going on at the tagboards of xinying and joanna...go with caution.
at joanna's tagboard hamza's been fighting "himself" (or his so-called "impersonator"...i dunno if i believe that or not, i'm a skeptic)...hamza's been acting weird...i mean seriously...i never expected a "f-word" from him...got me shocked.

hamza, i know you broke up with jo...but just 'coz of studies you're gonna break up with her? couldn't you have not started the relationship instead to spare her the pain? be rational, man.

...and i still am a better liar than you, you effing retard. just to give you my payback.
...i mean, to be honest, i was the girl who used to like you but lost interest soonafter...i guess it was worth it to forget about you all this while...and i don't mind what other people will think of this secret i've been keeping since last year. 'coz hamza, i know you're just a sore loser.

...and i don't mind if you won't talk to me on speech day, i've already got a huge network of friends. it's only one little thing, i shouldn't make a big fuss about it like a big, spoiled brat...i'm serious.

..i used to think you're a nice guy and stuff...maybe i was wrong.
i won't mind if you flamewar'd at my blog...i don't care much about that.
and i don't mind if you sever the friendly ties between us.
...it's more likely i'd be the one who's gonna end you up in doomsday anyway. (pardona me for my weird thoughts, lack of sleep.)

zilchcakes.

okays, off with that thing.
onto xinyings blog. ya, there's this girl...i went to her blog...and it was full of maple.

*abrupt-noise-thingy*

....wait, since when was this my business?
i'm out on this topic. let's talk about something else instead.

speech day practice on tuesday...it was a drag. i'd rather have stayed with the prize winners...and why'd they had to cram the practices on last week and this week? it doesn't seem right.

...german test-wise: i dunno what my marks is...but it's bound to be a failure, whether i like it or not.

physics test-wise: dun wan to talk about it. scram.

...can i go sleep now? my sleepiness messed up my ranting-mojo.

see ya,

mariel (that bored person who doesn't know what the heck is she talking about)

darn it.

2008-03-29T14:37:00.002+08:00

meh. the previous post is acting wonky and weird. i tried fixing it.

*gives up* -.-"

life is so unfair.

...but i don't wish for a utopia.
...and i don't want to be so egoistical.

2 posts in one day? 'coz as i said, the post below is acting weird. *rants*

see ya,

mariel *eating marshmallows, which tastes like air*

...life's a mess.

2008-03-29T13:30:00.006+08:00

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit..tonight
-Breaking the habit - Linkin Park

i dunno, this song pretty much summarizes what i've been through this whole week. Don't ask me why.

i try to change in a positive way...but it's my own self that's been keeping me from changing.
...and i really don't know why i have been this way. i wasn't like this when i was sec 1...

yeah, i've been at amanda's blog, reading her blogpost...and i guess i've been busier these days. busy enough to forget to have time for myself, my friends, my family.
...sooner or later i might forget these people exist altogether...and i don't want that to happen.

and i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. i don't want to be an elitist. i don't want to end up hating myself.
...and maybe i am the person outcasting myself.

...let me explain everything that happened that i think made me this way.

...i became immature after that "unforgettable event" happened. it was something that left me scarred emotionally and somehow mentally, even now it still gives me the jibblies. i mean, after that whole thing happened, i kinda cracked up. yeah, some my think of me having that post-traumatic stress disorder.
also, after that, i ended up insecure and started not trusting anyone.
...but this doesn't mean i'll blame it all after that event.

even before that day, i felt kinda abandoned, 'coz my parents directed their attention to brother instead of me...okay, it does sound kinda brat-like of me to do so, but i got used to the attention after all those 7 years. after that i started seeking attention from my other schoolmates...and it kinda stuck on me the impression that my parents will give me attention after getting high grades and stuff.
...well, i was wrong. even if i know it's was wrong, i still have the urge to have high grades just to have my parents i impressed. 'coz now i kinda had that the mindset that it was the only thing that impresses them.

...and perhaps i acted like an elitist nowadays. i dunno why. i know i hated elitists, i might end up hating myself.
...actually i hated myself already. i don't like the way i ended up right now. if i could wish for anything i'd wish that i was stupid instead of being smart so that i wouldn't be so arrogant and stuff...and i'd wish i could turn back time just to prevent all those bad things from happening.
...but what has passed, passed, and cannot be changed.
...but i can change the present, can't i?

...some people might think i'm all perfect, with a very happy family and stuff.
i am not perfect. i am not always happy. i cry. i lost a lot of people who were quite close to me.
...and besides, i'm fat.
maybe i was the person that i hated the most. not asraf, nor anybody else. i was kinda like, everything i hated.
...but this doesn't mean i'll go for self-mutilation. i don't like the whole idea of slashing myself, 'coz i'm scared of dying. that's why even though i've thought of killing myself a lot of times, i couldn't bring myself to it, 'coz i'm scared to die, 'coz i fear of ending up in...that horrible place we call "hell".

i lie a lot of times, but that doesn't mean that i did lie to my deutschlehrer as he accuses me i did (it was a complete misunderstanding. i was practically a blur most of the time when i'm in my german class, 'coz it's at wednesdays and fridays that i procrastinate the most)...i'm so sick of lying. i'm sick of everything. i'm sick of living a big lie. i'm sick of keeping up the image of a perfect person (everybody's fool - evanescence...it reminds me of that song)...i'm sick of the whole competition (class, whatever). i'm sick of people wanting me to be what they want me to be(why is my life a whole bunch of theme songs?!...btw, this sounds like perfect - simple plan)
i wanted to quit a lot of times. but there are some things that keep me going. unfortunately, i'm not sure what it is.

...at least now i know what amanda thinks of me...one down, a lot more to go before i die.

how many years to go before i die? 'coz i can't wait any longer. i'm not a very patient, no?
i wonder how many people will be at my funeral? i wonder what my funeral will be like? i wonder how will i die? i wonder who will do my eulogy? ...and i wonder if anyone will miss me? how many will forget me?
...will anyone care if i die?...will i die unnoticed?
...why am i asking about my death? *shudders*...this is so wrong.

yes, my life is a complete mess. i must go and fix it.

...so, notes to self:
1. be more open-minded
2. be less childish
3. stop living in the past
4. be less of an elitist
5. be less arrogant
6. try to have free time to spend with people who are close to me...so that i won't regret anything before i die.
7. cut out those empty promises.
8. try not to hurt anyone's feelings
9. learn to trust someone
10. be less over-protective
...and the list goes on...miles away.

...but this blogpost isn't my full story, yet. there are a lot more things that happened to me, i can't bring it up...i-i-i c-c-can't...*stutters*...it's just too horrible.

I'll face myself
To cross out what i’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what i’ve done
- What I've Done - Linkin Park

see ya,

mariel

(i hope this blogpost doesn't prove i'm emo...i try not to be one.)

dangit

2008-03-27T15:48:00.000+08:00

dun have anything to say.

just want to make sure the blog ain't cobwebbed.

toodles and see ya,

mariel :P

of school, weird stuff and ranting.

2008-03-10T16:37:00.002+08:00

i won't go into the old system again.

meh. this past few weeks has been rainy. i like the rain, but i don't like when it rains on the holidays and if i have guests on those days.

and i positively don't like going back to school on the holidays...and holiday homework.
who suggested going back to school on holidays and doing holiday homework?
you people are weird.

i don't have much to rant about though.

last saturday i went for the nus geography challenge with ms choo, a sec 2 girl named hannah (amanda, you know her?), a sec 2 guy named mervin, and 2 sec 4 girls whose names i couldn't remember. man, even if we wouldn't get in the top 30, we were one heck of a team. i mean, i had fun, although i was quite reluctant.

...but the questions were pure geography material. dang it...except for the second part of the prelims. it was when it started to get fun. ^^

...i didn't go for choir practice. why?
> 'coz i don't like the idea of going back to school on holidays. i am against the whole idea.
> i'm busy entertaining guests, who happens to be my relatives. can't i have quality time with my relatives? i know this isn't a valid reason for you choir leaders and teacher in charge, but, i think my family comes first before anything else 'coz i wouldn't be in school without them, wouldn't i? *rhetorical question*
> like i said, i'm a family-oriented person. i want to spend time with them while i can, and while they're still alive, 'coz i can't spend time with them when they're dead *touches wood*. yeah, i wouldn't much use to a dead person, wouldn't i? *another rhetorical question*

ok. so i didn't come to lenten vigil too. i wasn't able to come 'coz i wasn't feeling well, i was in jurong...and i didn't take an afternoon nap.

...why was i in jurong?...i was supposed to take something there, i can't recall what was it, and well, it so happens that...i forgot what happens next, i have a bad sense of memory...

ok. now to do what i was here for.

i'm gonna do what xin ying did, 'coz i can't keep in my feelings any longer.
...and i have to admit, i'm slightly emo xD (it doesn't show?...this proves i'm good at faking that i'm not. xP)

joanna: ....*sigh* do you really wanna know? if you don't want to get hurt, close this window.
i've got to admit.you can be quite annoying sometimes, i just don't dare say it. i don't mean to backstab and such, though...i'm still jealous that you were able to change to another school, and i'm quite annoyed about the reason why you changed school...but i don't mean to be selfish and stuff...which is probably the reason i let it go. i don't call much anymore, and sometimes when you call me, you always hear me like i'm in a hurry. times have changed, i don't have much time anymore, which leads my life into an imminent disaster. x.x
...and besides, i've learned the the school's reputation is nothing without its students. so, i'm trying to clear up the school's name on academics: by topping the school's o-levels with a whooping score...a score high enough to let me enter victoria junior college. i know it's impossible, but hey, flying was thought impossible until airplanes were introduced. ^^
...yeah, but it still something too much. :P
...but, this doesn't mean that i hate you. i still like you, 'coz you're still someone i can relate to...and you're someone that is too good to lose. may your relationship with hamza won't be a flop. ^^

amanda:...a lot has changed from the past three years, no?...i remember you saying that you are straight-forward person, so i'm gonna be straight-forward to you too.
you used to be that person who i can hang out with. i used to think of you as very cool and stuff, 'coz, well, i don't remember. i've always thought of you as a good leader before, but, as i've said, things have changed.
...you became more childish, no offense...it's as if you've grown backwards or something. you want things done your way, like that chemistry test mrs koh gave us recently, remember? i remember you saying that if you fail the test, you're gonna blame it on mrs koh. i know you were joking on that part, but what if people take it for granted? i say if the teacher is lousy, i'd do my own work instead, or you could go for tuition. ain't that a simple solution? you can't blame a teacher for teaching that way, 'coz that's her technique. if you don't like it, you could tell her about what you don't like about the way she/he teaches. it won't be solved unless someone does something, right?
...you have also become more selfish, and more of a spoiled brat. yes, you've told me last year that you are quite spoiled, and i told you that you weren't like that. maybe i was wrong. maybe i haven't seen your real side yet.
...you used to be...well...quite approachable. you used to be someone i could talk to...you used to be someone who goes in the same bus as me and talk about a lot of stuff. maybe i was too boring for you, i wouldn't mind...maybe i was too arrogant and cynical, or maybe i still am, i'm trying to improve on it...and you used to say vulgarities not so often. now it seems like vulgarities are part of your vocabulary, which is not a good image for a rite-awardee like you. can you please cut down on them? but this is merely a suggestion, i'm not forcing you to do anything, kapeesh?
...and ever since you went really serious about the whole "les" thing, you went really crazy, as in annoying-type crazy...you became even more sick-minded. you go emo when trina ignores you. i want the old amanda back, but i can't force people to do my bidding, can i?
(btw, i am being outcasted, and you don't need to apologize. it's too late, and i'm outcasting myself from the whole gang. i know the clique is falling apart, and, well, i think it's too late to fix it, not that i'm being a pessimist)

michael: i know you like corrinne (or however you spell it)...i don't like her that much, but don't let my thoughts get in the way of your feelings. if you really like her, then fine, as long as you're happy. if others don't like you being together, then heck care what they think. what matters most is what you feel...but, please do not forget your friends, 'coz corrinne isn't the only person in the world. and if she rejects you, don't mope around and go emo. respect her decision. she isn't the only girl in the world. probably now ain't the time for you to have a girlfriend, so don't rush. and besides, there are more girls in the world that you haven't met, and you can't be sure corrinne's the one for you...but that doesn't mean that you go date every single girl on the planet, 'coz that is extremely weird.
...btw, i like your decision to turn over a new leaf. i wanted to turn over a new leaf too, but my own self kept stopping me from doing so. but i am trying, though. ^^

xin ying: ...yes i did say things do change, and i'm not the only one seeing the changes.
...yes, you did become a bit weird, but not weird to the point of being crazy...you weren't so emo as before, and i like it. ^^
amanda did say once the you don't "click" anymore, that you were being annoying. but i don't think that you are annoying...seriously. i am not being biased, 'coz that would mean that i am lying, which i don't plan to do right now.
...a lot of things did change for the past three years that i have been here.

...to the whole lot that has been reading this: i have noticed that i've changed a lot too. i've made new friends this year, i have seen things from a different perspective, a lot has seiously changed. but that doesn't mean i like everything that has changed from my past personality. it seems like i have been more arrogant (i've said it before and i'll say it again)...i have been trying to humble myself. it's just me who's been stubborn.

...well.. i can't think of anything else to say. i'm not hiding any more stuff in the head.

man, ranting stuff is fun ^^

see ya,
mariel ^^

whatever.

2008-02-21T16:22:00.005+08:00

deductive reasoning? yeah right, like i have that.

website completion status: 06.0% (really lazy, eh?)

lets' cut to the chase, shall we?

>>THE NOT SO DISTANT PAST<<

(dang, i've got to get organizer-thingys for this thing. i'm tired of typing.)

linggo: i got the case wrapped up. (what case? check the choir blog tagboard.)...i kinda know who the notorious tagger(s) is(are), although i might not be too sure on that. i won't tell who that person(s) is(are), 'coz i might get myself under embarrassment if i got it wrong. anyway, how did i know?

firstly, the way he tagged. he went on rambling about soccer and stuff and then i knew it was a guy. of course there are girls who like soccer, but i don't think they'd be awful enough to spam that tagboard full of nonsense.

secondly, the time span between his tags. it seems that said person has associates, by the style of his wording and insults, it surely can't be from the same person. or can it?

thirdly, i got a slight hint of who they were the next day. don't ask me why. 'coz i'm bad at explaining.

...but of course, i'm not a detective/sleuth. i told you, these are just guesses. these speculations might be wrong...i wouldn't know. besides, i feel that the tagger ain't willing to budge. i'll have to wait for this one.

lunes: did this crystallization practical for chem. i like chem practicals. they're awfully awesome. ^^ english remedial was, well, i dunno how to explain. but well, teacher said there was an improvement on our behavior. i don't see much difference.

martes: had a very difficult math homework...went to farmart with the old folks, and had fun with my job as "ambush photographer"...too bad i deleted some of my photos, besides the fact that some of them were blurry, but some were priceless in the sense of funny.

miyerkoles: well, mrs wee suggested that my english group should have made a longer storyline for our project, so we had to redo it. amath was quite a blur, i was busy thinking of my projects (more on that soon)...and did not concentrate on the lesson, but i was able to do some of the questions...just by looking at the examples. but the book still lacks examples. i'm gonna ask my parents to buy me that other amath book.

also, mdm wong thought of asraf as a very nice pupil. IT'S ALL BUT A FALSE FACADE. that guy's a complete idiot. he doesn't respect others, so why will i give him respect?
...and besides, he's a whinny spoiled brat.
....but that doesn't prove that i'm not either.

>>THE PRESENT TENSE<<

"c'mon. you ain't seen half of me yet."
(translation: c'mon. you haven't seen the other side of me yet.)

social studies debate was most fun. except asraf being a nuisance (soo damn typical. i must consider barging into the principal's office and tell her to expel asraf. if only i had the nerve to do so.), it was...well, nice. aside from the fact that our group's debate was an epic fail. xD

i'll be expecting another epic fail in my maths test. i'll bet 1 cent on that.

on the part of the take2 of the el project, well, i...can't describe it. there were a lot of errors here and there, but hey, we ain't perfect, and at least we didn't take the story from a website a long time ago and reuse it again. on this, you'd better ask anh, 'coz i told her about said topic. (asraf is still a nuisance, and he sucks, and has a mentality on a 1-year-old. i wonder why he's still in express. he failed science last year, as far as i know.)

i had the funnest bio lesson ever. for this ask xy, suhartini, sharmila, anh...we were laughing until my side ached. (crap)

>>FUTURE PROJECTS<<

>that...petition, if anyone is still in favour, please, tell me, or i'll cancel it.
>class website.
>learn to do animations out of flash, and then do some work.
>my alternative math workbook.
>homework, like usual.

>>THE LAST WORDS<<

meh. nothing here except...

"yum."

now my mind's blank. like empty space.

see ya,

mariel

(p.s.: can you believe this post's in technicolor? i mean, colorful? i'm bored, so i had to do so...and can you believe how many i times i've edited this post? that's how weird i am.)

dingdondangdong...dingdingdingdong

2008-02-17T17:36:00.002+08:00

ouch. that's gonna hurt in the morning.

class website completion status: 6.0% (added one page. nothing much, though.)

i've got a lot to do, so don't expect a very long post.

first of all, x-country. was very glad to see joanna, although to me it seems weird that she cut her fringe...well, that's her decision anyway. the last time i had a fringe was last year. and it kept bugging me. >.<

well, we rode the same bus (21) home, i had to alight earlier, 'coz my stop's nearer (common sense.)...and we kinda stumbled on one topic while we waited for the bus...or so i remember. i dun dare say it here. my rep is at stake (steak, lolz.)...

now, what am i doing?
busy doing research work...for a debate. i'm wasting time here.
also browsing on deviantart, what else do i have to do?
oh yeah, class webbie. too bad i had to do all the work, 'coz i didn't ask for help. so now i'm asking: who knows css?

gotta go.

see ya,

mariel

...slinks away...

2008-02-14T16:20:00.003+08:00

i'd rather be somewhere far away...so far that no one can hear me scream...'coz i wanna get out of here 'coz it only gives me more pain...

website completion status: still down at 05.0%. how lazy am i?

...for those who think i'm emo-ing again, well, probably i am. but usually it's on a temporary basis...it goes on and off without me even knowing it. *moves off to a dark corner*

...so i've heard that jo and hamza's relationship has been going well, even if joanna told me one time last year after she broke up with mich (it was more like 5 months after that incident) that she didn't wanna be associated with any boy whosoever...seems like times have changed. breaking resolutions are our trend already. how come i didn't hear of it?

...i must be out of my mind, mustn't i?

okay, enough of this, it's only making my day worse.

>>THE NOT SO DISTANT PAST<<

monday: meh. started on enzymes, which was so boring. took a nap at chem class without mrs koh noticing. how shameful, especially for someone who is a chem rep. perhaps i need to work on my attitude. and get some more sleep, 'coz i really need it...

tuesday: well, i was really feeling kinda sick that day...but i didn't care. i also was lucky enough to catch an early bus. ^^ the rest that happened on this day was nothing of importance, except amanda got sabotaged by mrs koh. l.o.l.s...also got to see esther in choir. long time no see, esther ^^...after choir there was this meeting-thingy for choir leaders. i didn't want to stand there in envy so i walked off. i don't wanna care anymore.

wednesday: well...found out almost everyone i knew got hooked, except for a few (which includes yours truly)...i mean, seriously...you might think it's silly of me to refuse to have a bf, but, as i always say, it ain't my time yet. although i'm not patient on a lot of things, i can be quite patient on this matter. i don't like rushing, especially for exams. it ain't worth it.

>>THE PRESENT TENSE<<

"darn. how could i be so dumb?"
yups. my head is really deteriorating at a fast rate.
my maths (a and e) are complete failures. my bio was also quite a disappointment, and my chem is also pretty much disheartening. for sure i'm gonna get beaten up in physics.
...and that's how i learnt that looks can indeed be deceiving in a hard way.

how now, brown cow?

...i don't think i can even make an a1.

it's my arrogance that made me like this. i shouldn't have been too overconfident.
...and it's all gonna change, hopefully.

*insert omitted text here*

>>FUTURE PROJECTS<<

...meh. not sure.
first of all, i'm gonna cut the slack like what i'm doing right now and hit the books. also, i'll try to get as much sleep as possible. i already look like a panda, and it could only get worse.
...also, i'm gonna try to finish the class site a.s.a.p. ...i'm pretty serious about it although it seems like no one ever takes me seriously. weird? naaaaaah.
...also, i'll try to convince myself to be more decisive, especially when i'm thinking of running for philippine president. *dang. did i just say that? lol, i did.* although it's only a thought, no one can be so sure about the future.

>>...THE LAST WORDS...<<

...before i bid you people adieu, i would like to say the following:
>that you no need to worry if i get hurt, 'coz i've let go anyway...so you can just go on with the relationship, 'coz i've let go of it by posting this. ^^

>that you can talk to the hand 'coz i just want to hear silence, thank you very much.

>that you can go move into the landfill, don't mind me, i'm just a bystander.

>...that i need to be alone when i'm emo-ing, so, please stay away by a 30-mile radius, or at least be far away as possible. i don't wanna rant, 'coz i know you won't like it either.

>that i absolutely don't mind being outcasted anymore. haven't i told that a thousand times? although it kinda hurts. v.v

>that i really wanna get out of this place (bigger scale please. i like my house, you know.). this place sucks.

..and now i must bid you guys a fond farewell. happy valentines day!

see ya,

mariel

(to readers: sorry for dumping this huge load of dump on you. i really need someone to confide to, an my diary's full. i need a new one...and i don't mean that i seek attention. i try not to. and the last words? try to guess if i'm referring to you. you might never know. *winks*)

...he was a boy, she was a girl...//

2008-02-08T19:02:00.000+08:00

website completion status: 05.0%...too lazy to update.

...just realized i'm hangin' out in the landfill. must escape pretty soon. don't plan to get hooked...well i used to, but it didn't worked out, the guy went for another girl, and it still kinda hurts. which leaves in the status of "don't wanna get help from someone, don't want to trust anybody and don't want to get hooked." don't reprimand me if i'm giving hints. i just don't care anymore.

>>THE NOT SO DISTANT PAST<<

montag: school. it was pretty much disappointing for me. my english was a downright low. okay, i can express myself in words, but seriously, i don't do comprehension. i can comprehend, thank you very much, i understand english, and i'd rather learn than be tested. oh, yeah, i don't really liked how my social studies test went out.

dienstag: erm...i dunno what happened on this day, 'cept for the fact mr ievan lew called us "moronic" (ok, that wasn't exactly what he said but of course, you know what is synonymous with this.)...lolz, that was darn offending, since, naturlich, he's talking to an express class. said situation was due to nobody (actually, only hoang raised his) raised their hand for something he was asking (who got this question correct?)...of course, we don't admit mistakes, and most of the books weren't checked, so you can't blame us much xD

mittwoch: made to sit under the hot sun before dismissal. mdm liza hasn't given me my emath results yet, but was kinda disappointed with my amaths results. i dunno anything about diagonals, since i'm such a 'tard at this sense, and some careless mistakes...but i liked how i spent the day, btw. lazed off, i mean. oh yeah, there was this guy, well, i'm not really sure what happened to him but he was, well, the time i saw him, he was lying in a stretcher, and i guess you know what happens next (clue: ambulances???)...dunno what happened but womething tells me that some discipline teacher talking to two guys holding a disciplinary slip is related to this. don't ask me why.

donnerstag: watched american idol...loved the flashbacks. can't forget the audition of renaldo lapuz...simply unforgettable. search the name on youtube, you'll indeed find the video itself and a lot of remixes of his audition song. it's still stuck in my head.

>>PRESENT TENSE<<

watched two movies today...and my arm got a slight burn after i was careless in cooking besuto...and got punched by my bro for his flighty temper. of course, being sensible, i didn't punch back, but my anger was rising to a certain extent.

...gotta go, i got chores to do.

dangit.

2008-02-03T16:25:00.000+08:00

class website making progress- 05.0%.
but i got stuff for it anyway. i only need a good layout. >.<

>>what have i been up to?<<

...well, i'm currently blogging, and editing the website at the same time...this is indeed, going to be big.

THURSDAY: i went for a dental checkup last thursday. darn it, i didn't know it was that bad. i was to undergo tooth filling, extraction and something like tooth removal. there was a tooth that...well...didn't show up, and if it has to be removed, well, i have to go for an operation under local/general anesthesia. i opted for the local one...i don't want to put my life on the line. i'd rather be traumatized about seeing everything in action rather than getting my chances being dead. it ain't my time yet. by the way, undergoing for an x-ray is weird. i got a slight headache after the second one, but perhaps it was on something else.

FRIDAY: amath test was kinda hard, except for the division part. i love division in the algebraic sense. don't like whole number division that they taught me in primary school. dang that was hard. bio was kinda of a breeze, not meaning to brag or anything, at least i don't have to do memorization. just have to know the process, and that's it. although i got something wrong at the last question. *slaps head*

SATURDAY: i played with my bro's/my psp...and i left the fried rice for the fellowship night last night, so i had to buy cake. but it was wasted since no one seemed to be in the mood for cake anyway. played with candle wax with amanda yesterday...it was kinda fun, although i probably couldn't keep up with the resolution i said last night. school's just so darn pre-occupying, you won't have time for yourself, or worse, for Him (i mean God...people nowadays.)...even time management won't work. i mean, what would you use algebra and matrices for? i see no connection with real life. *winks*...i'm just a teen anyway.

TODAY: woke up at 8...ate a burger for breakfast. it was kinda burnt, 'coz i was distracted by a newspaper article when i was supposed to be looking after the patties. but it was kinda nice anyway. folded clothes. took a bath. do i have to go into detail here?

>>what am i planning to do?<<

+finish a bit on the class website. i'm serious on finishing it.
+do homework. duh.
+do something on a holiday i don't really celebrate. (CNY, folks. if my grandmother on my mother's side was still alive, i'd be wearing red and getting ang pow. ^^ ...and eating that thing some chinoys [chinese filipinos] call tikoy.)
+study for those upcoming tests *gets hit by stacks of paper [hp: -100]*

...and that's all folks!

see ya

(inspired by: the sound of the falling rain by mother nature ^^)

...nyuh...//

2008-01-27T13:56:00.000+08:00

for once i want the world to just shut up. i want them to leave earth and let me be alone. i want people to just get out of my way.

sometimes i'm just really frustrated on how people act. but i don't want a perfect world (note:utopia)...i never wanted anything like that.

some people just think that they're smarter than anyone else. i know some people are smart, but if i were smart, i'd keep it low key. ok, we know you're smart, but there is absolutely no need to show off. so shut that little trap of yours. i know some people are smarter than me in some things, but as i said, no need to show off.

some people think that they're perfect so they go off criticizing people. but they're not perfect. there is no such thing as perfect in this world. even if they have them "attractive qualities" doesn't mean they're perfect. the only person i know that is perfect is God...and even though we're imperfect, he still loves us, and accept us for who we are...and try to lead us back to the good side, eventually. not like other people who are such snobs who think they're perfect and go tell others off. i won't shoot, ok?

some people are so damn self-centered, that they think everything must be focused on them. i dunno why this is so, when they get the most attention all the time.

who am i ranting about? myself. why? i am such a show-offy, snobbish, self-centered jerk. that's right. a jerk. i know you'll ask, why do i look at myself that way? 'coz that's who i really am.

and yeah, other people are like that too, they just don't dare admit it. yeah, as i said in my previous post, you might think that i am all that, but i'm not. i've got emotions too, which is both a blessing and a burden. >.< (really sorry for dumping this to the readers, seriously.) i know some people are outcasting me, but, to the people who i've dumped on this matter, no need to stand up for me. i can do this on my own. i positively can. i don't need that guy anymore. like i'm gonna care if whatever happens to him. really. i've got other people to hang out with. forgive and forget, even if it means i have to forget that person ever existed.

yeah, i know those people have their own world, and thereby leaving me out of the matter, but i don't really care if they do. i've got my own matters to think about. i still have a whole life ahead of me, and i won't waste my time moping around just 'coz i got outcasted. not anymore.

i know the class is clique-ish. but that doesn't mean that going around without a clique makes you a loser. it's not true. i know someone who thought so, but living by that ideal makes you too dependent on your friends, and in some instances, makes you more of a loser. a definite low.

i like my own company for this time only, thanks. i have a life too, ya know.

oh yeah, did you hear of the guy who did not have a life? he said he did have one, and he bought it off the convenience store, but i think it's not working for him.

so really sorry for dumping the crap on the readers. and to those who got hit by my rants, there's a filipino saying, which goes like this:
"batu-bato sa langit, ang matamaan, ay 'wag magalit"
which means if you ever got affected if someone talks about you in a subtle way (like this rant), don't ever get angry. ^^

see ya,
mariel

(this post has been inspired by:
simple plan - shut up
)

snuck in.

2008-01-23T21:39:00.000+08:00

heh...sneaked in to post something.

whatever others say about me being perfect, ain't true.
i was never perfect. never.
you can scold me anything you want. you can tell me to shut up. i don't care anymore.even if you have a higher position(electoral, academic or whatever) than me, i don't care, 'coz you're just as whacked as me...we're just showing others a false facade. we've always been.

yeah, i know i'd get angry at you, sometimes i'd just give you the cold shoulder. 'coz that's just how i feel. if i were able to spill everything it would take days to finish.
remember what mdm (ms? mrs? meh.) wong said? "no regrets"...i don't think i couldn't live by it...i've had too many regrets in my life.

to you all, you'd think my life's positively perfect. you'd think i'd make up excuses so that i don't have to go for this meeting and stuff.
WRONG.
i'm waaaaaay busier than you. yeah, it might not mean i'd get the position i was clinching for since last year (it was an electoral one, btw. see previous blogposts.), but somehow, i don't feel like i regretted it. i'd rather have it that way. yeah, i know you're so free. you wanna know what my sched is like? lemme see:
monday-remedial starting next week+housechores+homework
tuesday-choir+remedial+housechores+homework
wednesday-(remedial+choir)+german+housechores+homework
....and it goes on...

yeah, i know you'd be asking, why not ask your parents to make you stop doing housework, hmmm?
'coz i'd rather have learnt something related to housework rather than get married without knowing anything about the house and be useless, 'coz a house reflects that of the person who's doing the housekeeping, wherein mostly in this case, is the wife.

don't try to be arrogant with me. i know you've got a lot of friends, especially in the sec2. they're all supporting you, so don't go emo on me saying "no one cares about me"...i won't be able to comfort you, i'd probably make it worse. i know some of the choir members (especially current sec2s) are rooting for you. i don't mind, as long as you don't abuse your authority. if you do, well, things wouldn't be good.

so who was i ranting about? my next door neighbor. more details? ask me over the phone. it's more private there.

i'm thinking of switching this blog to private. >.<
i'm working on the new class website.
i'm studying for my social studies test.
i'm busy ranting over here.

that song that inspired me to post for no reason:
simple plan-perfect

drownin' at the southeast asian homework sea.

2008-01-10T15:44:00.000+08:00

it has been, like days that i haven't blog'd. i've got tons of homework to do...and i haven't even done yet *sobs*

even if i won't get a high (electoral) position this year, whether a chairperson or a neya exco, i don't care. i'm kinda sick of the school politics...so i have to direct my attention to something else.

i've been so stressed lately, if it weren't for some optimists i would be dead right now. seriously. i've got tons of homework to do...plus it seems like wednesday's my most busiest day in a week. just this wednesday i was supposed to go for choir, neya meeting and german class...i dunno what to do anymore...it seems like most people seem to be free on the days i'm not...in fact there are no days that i don't seem to busy. probably after this whole ordeal i'd go home to good ol' ph for vacation...not that i hate it here, it's just that people here seem to go by the principle "all work and no play"...in my opinion that's a definite low.

i'm failin' 'coz i'm too busy. (sorry for flingin' apostrophe's at you guys...even right now.)...i've got myself an organised sched so i won't mess up...but it seems that other unexpected things just suddenly appear in front of my face. i'm sure i won't get cca points, but who can i blame? i'm definitely busy on a wednesday...can't they do it on a monday or a thursday instead? 'coz this is starting to get unreasonable (on my part), 'coz if they want full strength on a choir, they should put practices on when they are most free.

maybe denise did have a point. (never mind what i meant, this was a private convo, folks. dun scold me for being "noisy in choir" (although i was putting my voice low...)...you guys want me to be antisocial, eh?)

i've been feeling outcasted this past few days...joanna, if you're starting to worry, don't ask me about this...but i'd probably spill it to you anyway. (man this post is getting long...tl:dr folks don't continue)...choir's getting different...but i still get out-of-caste (meaning i'm going pariah), the only people that i get to chat with are very unreachable...more elaboration if you call me and i'm willing to talk.

me gots to go...

see ya

uNrEaChAbLe

2007-12-28T14:11:00.000+08:00

lol...i wasn't able to do much of any holiday homework...i've been pretty busy the past few weeks.
i am soooo doomed.

it's not my fault, i have to look after my brother...help my parents out in helping with the arrangements for the church on the simbang gabi-thingymajig...and also assist in that christmas-party thingy.
and i think no teacher would believe this or understand this.

...not even a fellow student.

so why give us holiday homework? isn't holidays supposed to be nothing related to school? (this has been a student's point of view. they always heard about the parent's point of view...and the teachers need rest too, you know?) aren't we students supposed to switch off our minds just this once? can't we have that one month without anything related to school? you can't blame us slacking off in school, 'coz we weren't able to do that the whole vacation...we were slumped doing homework.

and another note: some parents actually think their children might be free the whole vacation, so they started making us go to some camp, or something extra-curricular (in my case it would be flooding my room with laundry and asking me to fold it. :P). no matter how much we try to convince them that we have our own lives too...well, it makes things worse.

and now my pc acts like crazy.

i heard that joanna's really set on changing schools (reason: "biology's pretty futureless for me" [joanna, somewhere near end of school term])...i'm sure about soham ("i got accepted in RI!"-soham, translated from sms form)

me? i'm staying. reason?
1)"wala nang slot sa hai sing or sa chij ehhhhh"-my mom [translation: there are no more slots/vacancies at hai sing or at chij...]
2) i'm pretty adjusted to good ol' btss already......
3) i lurrrrrve bio!
4) dun wan the whole changing-school again routine. i've been through that, and seriously, you wouldn't like it....or you will?

5) what? i'd be learning to use flash next year anyway...i don't want to lose that chance...;P

so yah...so goes my list.

and if the whole gang changes school, i'd be lonely and alone, which i wouldn't mind, since i've been actually alone the whole school year.
and ever since that guy came everything started crumbling.
i remember that time when joanna told me she liked him i ask myself what the heck does she see in him? he's not really that physically attractive (nor am i, for that matter)...
or has he been covering up his true self when he's joanna and shows us, joanna's friends, a different side of him?

well, he has been acting strange when jo's around.

but i don't mind if no one believed me...i know nothing.

i'm as dumb as a rock.

see ya

yahaha....

2007-12-25T17:40:00.000+08:00

hi! merry christmas!

what have i been up to the past few weeks?

i was out on simbang gabi, a filipino tradition...it's kinda like a novena...we attend mass for 9 days...yup. despite some annoyances, and standing up for the whole duration of the mass 'coz there's a lot of people, it was kinda ok...i was able to meet robert sunga anyway in the process. however i only got a photo...i wasn't able to get an autograph -_-"

--next paragraph erased due to lack of interest--

--end of deleted paragraph--

oh yeah, i have been hearing some songs down the net, and i think this one's kinda good (click on the words "this one")

i gotta go...going to watch national treasure ^^

-mariel

nyaaaaaaah!....//

2007-12-06T20:15:00.000+08:00

huzzah! 50th post! *celebrates*

ok. i'm back. it's december. there's that certain frosty air that's settling in (i hate makin' up phrases like these, lol)...and i'm not half done with my homework. why won't they let us slack off during the holidays? they know we're also busy during the holidays, they're only making our holidays worse! i positively hate holiday homework! can someone tell me why the heck are they giving us holiday homework? i mean seriously, we, the students, are not robots who don't need to rest.

ok. enough of the rambling.

*breathes in, breathes out*

i haven't been able to play audi for a long time...my secondary pc ('coz my bro own'd me into owning that pc) crashed...so my father had to "reset the pc". so all the files had to go "bye-bye". and now i am currently bring things back into normality. and now my audi skills sucked. not that i'm complaining or anything.

*types* this keyboard sucks and my pc lags.

i won't be able to design a blogskin, so don't expect anything from me until i get that dreamweaver-thingy. however, i can still edit my sketch-thingies without the use of photoshop, 'coz i'm using something somewhat similar to a photoshop. so i can design something for my upcoming project. lolz.

so what is up with the times? i know some are having jobs right now...i'm currently doing a home job (in simpler terms, house chores)...i don't think i'm gonna get paid (lol) until school begins (in the form of school allowance xP)
sometimes i hate staying at home but sometimes i like hanging out with my parents 'coz i like the way how witty they are. it might be embarrasing to some, but hey, it's not as if you can replace your parents (the replacements? yeah right, as if.)...i've learned to accept them as they are, they're my parents...you can even check my dna on that, lol. although i kinda doubt that part on the dna thing. not really sure on my existence and stuff >.<

wow. as nikita said one time when we were riding bus 58 together, "when it's nearing school vacation you'd wish it's school holidays already, but when it the school holidays you'd wish that school days would start already." well, she did had a point on that one, especially when i'm suffering from "school-holiday syndrome" already. i am bored as heck. anything interesting would only interest me for one time only, don't ask me why, because although i know the reason, i wouldn't tell you. :P

that's all i can pour in...hope i can still ramble on and on and on...but my mind's blank. lol.

mariel, signin' off! (didn't expect that, eh?)

zzzz...//

2007-11-23T20:11:00.000+08:00

moot. what is moot? it is a word, and i bet you geniuses could figure it out without a dictionary, since i know you got a plethora (sorry, my keyboard kinda sucks right now and i don't bother to backspace/delete) of words. but here's a hint to the clueless: it's related to being a lawyer or something, somewhat, somehow.

okay, on with what i was really gonna say. my brother and i (actually, it was only my bro, but we decided to share it 'coz it has 3 chars anyway) got to play in grand chase sea's closed beta! how cool is that? i mean, it's a privilege to spot bugs and all for the admins to see...i mean, the game's quite buggy at this moment, since it's still in its first stages and all (i saw a guy complainin' about why the ba-word wasn't filtered out yet...i bet it's filter ed already.)...but the game's great! so to anyone who wants to join me in the closed beta, i can invite guys over, as long as you give me your email (via tagboard). (i suck, no? a complete nerd? but hey, i'm not that nerdy. i tell you, even though there's the latest technological thingymajig i won't learn of it until 1 month or year later. and besides, even though i look nerdy in school i do have a pretty decent wardrobe (w/o miniskirts, 'coz i loathe skirts, even my school skirt.))

so 'kays. pondering over why i kinda flunked it over and got third lead me to some of these conclusions:
>i was ignorant. i left my german and took it for granted, although i'm pretty active in lessons i still would usually be absent. but now i don't think the words "i-got-important-choir-practice" would be a reason for me to skip class. i know my cca activity would be in grave danger, but let's just hope i won't be in the wed-class next year if you don't want me skipping important practice for the sake of my german.
>my sched's pretty tight nowadays, unlike my "o-po-nents" (okay, it's opponents, but i am not really sure how busy they are. do i look like i snoop on their houses and monitor their every single move? nu-uh, not on my watch), 'coz starting when i am home i'm already busier than i am in school. i got chores, plus homework and i have to add in my free time with my bro...i don't want my bro remembering me as "not being there"...
>well, i have been daydreaming this whole while, i think this might be the cause why i am not attentive in german class, eh?

well, that's all the logical reason i have came up with, but as far as the stats go, i think no one would even know that i have been posting stuff in my blog. my blog is in the verge of deletion, folks, and unless someone tag me sometime i will delete this blog. 'coz no one would even care. i mean no one would understand what the heck am i posting about...and i'm pretty much unpopular, which is somehow i never cared about 'coz why should i popular here 'coz i wouldn't be popular in the whole world and what use is it to someone like me? seriously?

and besides, my life is pretty mundane.

so. okay. what interesting thing happened to me this whole week?
errm...dunno.
no idea.
uh....no.
*wastes letters for fun*
the only thing i'm looking forward to is my schoolbooks to come...they'll keep me pretty occupied.

okay, so what are the words of the day?
moot, plethora, mundane.

-m*****(will finally have the courage to post her real name up this time), signin' off.

what they say isn't the whole story...//

2007-11-19T15:23:00.000+08:00

i erased bits and stuff of this post. i'm not in any paper's commentary anyway (man this keyboard sux...i meant my own pc's keyboard, my usual pc was transferred to my brother's ownership so i have to make do. :P).

so what am i up to nowadays?

currently i've been on the wiki lookin' up on volcanoes (for no apparent reason...), sharks, whales, and some astronomical stuff. those things were really interesting.

yesterday i was occupied watching mickey's magical show...i was actually "dragged in" to watch that show, in other words, i was reluctant 'coz my parents already know that i'm a kid no more...but this was more for my brother's case, who isn't really a fan of any disney-related thingymajig (my influence? nahh, although it was more of his choice xD) except for his minor weakness for mickey mouse playhouse and backyardigans...i'll have to say i have no comment over this. the show was filled with "crazed" mickey fans, i'll have to guess they hailed from all over the world, judging by people speaking in different languages...whatever, at least my parents didn't let my bro waste on some merchandise he's gonna leave around like the rest of his stuff.

also, yesterday i found out that soham's also been diligently doing his work like usual...found his name on the maths website for clarifying the answer for question 6 and 13ii...i also found this one out even before i started working on the holiday homework...how? just look at digits given...then you can find out the flaws in the answer key...easy, hmm?

also, i've been to joanna's friendster and saw her shoutout...commented on it (you'll have to see it for yourself.)...it's a sad truth that we've been playing maple with immature children (good thing i quit), in the sense of they are kids, probably some of them are spoiled brats, i mean c'mon, some of them wants their own way to get through (not you amanda)...i mean, do u notice how packed the servers are during nighttime? and the fact that the 2nd person in the rankings is actually a sec1 going sec2? and that guy even is such a--, let's just say he's irritating.

i just hope those types of people won't leak into cabalsea or ro2...'coz i'm planning to play on those two, if ro2 doesn't go p2p.

Holiday Homework: Science (done!), Math (week 2 pending), Social Studies (workin' on it)

any people transferring schools? mich, most probably, and i'm quite confirmed of soham going RI...i might be transferring despite of my "i'm hopeless"sayings, 'coz my parents are thinkning of transferring me over to CHIJ St. Joseph...i haven't told them about my decision yet, though.

oh, and my parents are thinking of enrolling me into piano lessons, although i was hoping for guitar lessons or violins...although flutes might also be a good idea...

*salutes**chomps off a snickers bar*
lyzz, signin' off!

slapped...//

2007-11-11T13:04:00.000+08:00

...i've been thinking, i know that 2E1's class chairman was a "flunker"(i meant, wasn't really deserving)...and i was thinking that this time we should think of a chairman who would be more deserving of the job...i'm not talking about myself though, i've "been-there-done-that", although being in an electoral position again would be kinda nice...^^

whatever, school's still far away anyway, isn't it?
but hey, we better get this wrapped up, unless you want another useless chairman.

meh. don't mind the last part i said. let's worry about it next year.

let's talk about the upcoming class blog that wouldn't appear if i will be too busy for the past few days. what would it's tagline be? would we use the same blog 'til sec 4? what blogskin style should i use? who would be the official administrator? would there be assistant admins? would there be a "totally new and revamped" class forum? it's up to all of you guys. i wouldn't start unless you give me opinions, 'coz this thingymajig would be ignored unless i get everyone's opinion, and this thing isn't for me only, it's for the whole class. and besides, it keeps class memories, good or bad.*eh...is this a memorial service or something?*

if you don't want me to continue, just tell me. if it all becomes a failure like last year's because of my general incompetence, i won't mind. seriously. i'd had bigger failures.

ok, let's talk about what will happen next year.

i know some people in 2e1 would be in 2a-classes, and a 2a1 person and 3e1 people would be joining our class, i'd like give a big "welcome to the class" to those who are joining in. but it doesn't end there. our class might be split because of our population (40, can you believe it?) ...and i heard there are foreigners coming in, but i'm not sure in which class they'd be coming in. but as far as i know most of them are the usual type (chinese people...can't they give us some other-country students, not that i hate the usual-type foreigners, but i'd like to have a, i dunno, a japanese student perhaps? that would be fun!)...dunno if they'll pass the principal's expectations 'coz they're undergoing the interview process.

i wonder who will be our form teacher? i really hope she's nice. and i hope our math teacher(with an "s" for those who are taking a-math) wouldn't/won't be so booooooooring. i still have to do physics (although not fully) so that's gonna be a flunker for me. well, that means i have to try hard on this. and besides, i can't wait for the science fair next year! my head is already makin' up some crazy ideas (joanna knows one, but it's top secret info. very classified. *winks*)...but i don't think it's gonna make it for the "display".

Holiday Homework: Science (done!), Math (finishing week one), Social Studies (strugglin' with the source-based questions)

ok. the "hams" are clearly smarter than me, and i think soham's pretty much "smooth-sailing" with his holiday homework. probably same goes for hamza. so why don't you guys go straight to jc instead? besides, i think soham would say, "being jc's so very easy"....hehe, just kidding. i support you guys and congratulate you two for being in the top 2 positions.('coz i'm merely a 3rd placer, hehehe. ;P)

see you two in class next year and also in speech day (if you two are still in btss) ^^

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

P.S.: haven't you noticed how long this entry is? i have.

scribbles//

2007-11-04T16:43:00.000+08:00

before anything else, i would like to say that i, the girl whose real name starts with m, has finally gotten over the whole "i-was-actually-third-in-class-because-he-got-better-mt-grades-than-me" thing. but seriously, who can blame them? it's their mother tongue. me? i'd be sec 4 when the whole "filipino-is-considered-as-a-mt" is finally approved.

i know. nothing in this entire world is fair, which also might be the reason why i got third in class (i got over it already!) no matter how hard i try.

whatever. i'll just let it be. there's always a next time.

so 'kayz, i heard mich's gonna transfer schools, joanna's thinkin' of doing so too. hamza's still wanting, i mean, aiming to go to victoria sec (reason: cricket, lolz)...i dunno about amanda, xy and js though. same goes for soham. me? i have no hope of leaving the school. i wanted to go to nus high school of science and math...that school sounds awesome, you know...in academic means.

well, advanced sayonara to all those who are leaving. although i don't see any difference between the "combined" and "pure" part of science they're offering. they're almost the same anyway, so i see not much reason to, um, erm, never mind. and besides, i don't think the words "pure biology/physics/chemistry" sounded like proper english. what would i know, i'm an AmE user, unlike the vast majority here that uses BrE. :P

i feel very emo today, or was it because of the music i'm playing on the pc?

oh yahs, hooray for a-maths! and bon voyage to amanda, xy and js!

currently, i'm trying to find my previous classmates at ph on friendster. so far i've seen some people that does seem familiar...i dunno if they remember me (i don't think they do...)...but i'd rather not get my hopes high.

!UPCOMING PROJECTS!:
>new class blog (3E1)
>ermm...social studies thingymajig
>uh...christmas card?

Holday Homework: Science(done!), Math(ongoing), Social Studies(needs help)

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

diagnosis: hysterical.//

2007-10-30T13:31:00.000+08:00

okays. since this blogskin doesn't show the title, i'll tell you what it is. it's "diagnosis: hysterical". why was it so? i'm beginning to think i'm insane, ever since that "i-bonked-my-head-into-the-wall" incident...i didn't go to the doctor after that, since i though it wasn't very serious, i wasn't feeling dizzy anyway after that and i didn't faint and die after that...but i think i got my self a head concussion (see dictionary.com for details)...

nah. impossible. i'm just makin' up stuff.

anywayz, hooray! school's out...finally, vacation! time for a little r&r!

and i'm in the express class next year (ya, it was very obvious...but remember when i got 12th or 11th place in class?)...hope i get into the a-math express class-type...thingy. xD

i got 2nd place...blame my german for it...and my art improved to a b3! how cool is that? perhaps participating in my mother's gardening isn't so bad after all!...well, even if i get 2nd place, it won't mean i'm satisfied already...even if i got myself a new handphone after that...i still have to strive to be first. sec 3 won't be that easy, you know.

VACATION A-JEN-DUH, I MEAN, AGENDA:
>wait for november 6...getting sick of the suspense. :P
>make blogskin
>sketch stuff. what stuff? when i'm in sec 4, you'll probably know.
>work on my art...second reason for the agenda above
>work on my math...i study too much, but it's worth it, okay?
>finish this pile of laundry
>enjoy the holidays...
>ask my father if he filed "the leave" already (not resignation!!!)
>keep eyes glued to deviantart for endzone final results
>sleep xD
>do holiday homework! VERY IMPORTANT!
>less eating...more working.

that's a lot to do...but school's a long time away, right???

a definite no. i don't have all the time in the world. dimwit.

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

pfft.//

2007-10-24T16:56:00.000+08:00

okays. i have typed in the part two for the previous post...but i'll hide it for now. of course, i'll indeed show it sometime, but now isn't the time.

whatever. i'm not going to school tomorrow...i'm overworked...i need some rest...i just came from camp and now i have to go to school the next day?!?! c'mon, like i'd give in to that. every person needs rest. unless of course, they want us to die or something, which i suppose isn't the reason. i know going to school is important, but my health is important too. i might get anemia (AmE, dimwits...i don't know the BrE spelling for this one.) for this.

hmmm...i wonder who got first place in class...anyone who knows please, PLEASE, tell me by tagging me. i need to know...i'm dying of suspense....*dies*

hehehe, not dead yet. xD

i'm sunburnt. x.X

will be posting back soon.

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

(this is probably my most nonsensical post in this blog's history ^^)

keh...in response to what others say...//

2007-10-19T20:17:00.000+08:00

people think my school is all that "budget" and very lousy. well, people say that because one thing: they one school is better than the other and people in one high-class school is bound to be smart. i think this something i might call elitism. just because someone comes from a "lousy" school DOES NOT mean that he or she is a complete idiot. perhaps this "thing" is because of the different standards of different schools here...one is better than the other. i have no idea why is this so.

anyway, i think people shouldn't judge us just because of what school are we in. it shouldn't be so. it's just jumping to conclusions. jumping to conclusions suck. it really does (refer post below).

however, about the "budget" school thing, our school does have money to improve things. it only just matters about priorities (why the heck am i speaking like a mature person even if i'm not? coming of age, i guess.). i think us students should be more appreciative of being in a schoool. we are lucky enough to have parents who work hard for us to have an education, whether you like it or not, and to have a government that supports for our studies when we don't have enough money for our studies. some people in my country are so poor, they couldn't even afford to go inside a public school, which the cheapest school to go in, since it's public (duh!), and they dream of going inside a school, wanting to be educated. and anyway, just because our suggestions aren't being implemented in our school doesn't mean our school is "budget"...it's just because our suggestions weren't that important enough, not that i'm saying it's useless. as i said, it's a matter of priorities.

i am not speaking in defence of our school, neither am i speaking on the side who says our school is definitely lousy (not that i'm saying it is.). I AM ON MY OWN SIDE, since i have learnt to not go with anyone's trend, however popular it may be. but someday, i must learn to be decisive and stuff.

i don't go with the flow, sometimes i go stubborn as to not let me go with it...and sometimes i go ahead of it. and no one ever notices.

no, this post ain't finished yet. there will be a continuation. it's just that i don't have enough time. ^^

(what's with me speaking maturely, it's just that this is my point of view. if you think it's downright immature, go on with it. bring it on. see if i care.)

i shall return. ( i am not general mcarthur...or however you spell his name.)
*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

.........<>...............

2007-10-11T15:41:00.000+08:00

i hate it when people get the wrong impressions. i hate as much as you hate it too. so, can you people please CUT IT OUT unless you want it to happen to you too.

(why did i post this one? okay, this is why:

from: ****** : "haiz u in love huh?cos ur blogskin told u off lol just kidding"

i know there's that "just kidding" part, but it's kinda offending for a person like me to be jumped to conclusions at....and c'mon, that person didn't like it when i told her my "speculations" about her and some guy in particular.)

now that's covered...i can go on to say that i'm not changing my blogskin until further notice. no...this blogskin isn't for someone...in fact i don't like (as in like-like), love (as in bgr-type) or infatuated with anyone...unlike someone i know (no, it's not you, joanna) who's crazy enough to post about her in his blog.

rawrz. school stressed me out i feel like a wrung-out piece of cloth...more like a tattered piece of old cloth. i feel kinda feverish, but i don't feel like going to a doctor...self-medication, anyone? ;)

grrr...that calculator-head (anyone knows who this one is???email me the answer and probably i'll give you a treat! ;P) finished his math paper 2....i lost around 8 marks because of the last question...8 marks means a lot to me you know!!!! (man, i got anger issues)...he'll surely beat me to first position in class *bids farewell to hopes of being 1st in class*

crap. yesterday, my german substitute teacher (she's absolutely nice) told us (the whole german class) that our marks will be sent to our schools...i wonder how the teachers would react? my results are a direct equivalent to crap...i really mean it, although i know nothing of my results. they won't be given us those results. *sobs*

i am planning to straighten up my hair again around december...and also around the holiday season my parents are planning to go to hk...i hope everything goes as planned, i don't want the same thing happen like our last holiday trip (man i hate that bus driver!). that trip was a disaster. meh...but i won't be going there just to shop or go disneyland *shivers at the thought...but will go for a roller coaster ride (indeed!)*...i just want to go there (hk) to escape the whole school thing! hoo-ha! xD

i am soooooooo weird.

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

...right...//

2007-10-03T13:16:00.000+08:00

did mich's true friend test twice...'coz i'm bored as heck. i want to take a break on pythagoras' theorem for a while.

crap, i can't take it off my head.

anywayz, science was quite challenging. don't call me "action", i didn't say it was piece of cake. in soham's case, it is. it's positively easy for him. he's a genius, with an IQ higher than mine.

*deleted paragraph*

i got pwn'd by a piece of paper. i mean, a bunch of papers stapled into two groups. plus an otas sheet. xD

okayz. *sniffles, 'coz i got a cold*

well. soham might think he's all smart and stuff. he thinks every test is easy. well he is. he might be in JC if he wanted to. (i think he never heard of this one, though. i'm wishing i could be in JC already, the less time i have to spend in an educational institution, the better.)...well, even so, i still think i can still be in the 1st position in class. i believe i can. nothing's impossible, except perhaps reaching your elbow with your tongue. xD

i won't screw it up this time. and i won't be over-confident just to let my hopes be crushed. i can fail, but i am ready to accept my mistakes or anything whatsoever.

...so i better get back to studying. ;)

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

there!//

2007-09-28T15:35:00.000+08:00

finally. i found a new blogskin down at blogskins.com

i'm so darn sleepy.

why am i blogging when it's the exams week? 'coz i'm crazy, that's what.

anywayz...i'm off to revise for whatever exam comes next.

V=IR
I=V/R
R=V/I
lol. voltage, current and resistance.

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

grrrrrrr...//

2007-09-27T12:34:00.000+08:00

this com is so laggy!

...will be changing blogskin soon. and will be designing a new one sooner or later.

i must be crazy. said the f-word once this morning...which i told myself i wouldn't do...but it was out of pure anger and frustration! c'mon, who would want getting splashed by rainwater?

>.<

like i got anything to say.

i just come here for fun. so. now. what. should. i. do. next.

dunno.

look for a new blogskin, perhaps?

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!//

2007-09-25T19:45:00.000+08:00

i'm going crazy! >.< i think with all this stuff to do's and whatnot, i might just end up in a lunatic asylum just because of too much stuff going on.

first of all (this is not an essay), i got this exams coming up...next there's this tons of revision worksheets...i know they're for our own good, but it's completely making me crazy-go-nuts! plus i lost my "inspiration" for my art paper...now what am i supposed to do? go move out to another galaxy, start a new life there and try to adapt...or move to another country...or maybe move to another school or something like that.

whatever. i'm just another deranged so-called smartypants...now everyone calls me "action"...it's not my fault, i'm just doing what i usually do in a test or an exam...and most importantly i never cheat...i'm not idiotic enough to do so.

*sigh*

i might be losing my friends just because of this "gift" but why can't they just accept me for who i am????? *completely in a crazy, insane state of mind right now...and frustrated* maybe i should just change schools...they won't mind, and it would be better for them 'coz there wouldn't be much competition anywayz.

i'm completely losing my cool right now...with this pre-exam stress i'm facing, who can't help but being frustrated and that urge to bang yourself to the wall? i need something to "blow it off" with...perhaps killing monsters would help...

whatever. i'm off to study, and pour out my stress by punching a pillow. xD *like i would do that*

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

...err, yah...//

2007-09-12T20:49:00.000+08:00

it's human to err, you know.

i could be back blogging like the usual if i am able to sneak up. my apologies also for not going to the bbq party thing and not finishing the ipw project.

misery loves me so much, huh? i've been very busy lately i rarely have time to do fun stuff...including this.

if i want to and if i get hold of a videocam or digicam, i might go vlogging. without my face on it. how? use a sock! xD

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

...nothing gold can stay...//

2007-09-12T20:21:00.000+08:00

we all learnt it the hard way.

(btw...i had 1 post ommited and 1 post in drafts 'coz it's offending)

jina died on monday...(or was it saturday? >.<)...i miss her so much, she was such a nice person...i couldn't forget th time we first met her, the first day of secondary 2 life. she was a smart girl, and i will always remember her. we went to her funeral wake a while ago...i tried to hold back the tears but it started flowing uncontrollably until that area below my left eye became irritated because of repeated rubbing of tissue paper on that area...almost all of the girls cried...her mother cried so loudly i felt sorry for her since of course she was jina's mother and jina was their only child...i also saw min jung there, i also saw her crying because she (jina) was kinda like her (min jung) best friend when min jung was still in btss...her mother told me she saw me in jina's pictures, possibly those pictures jina took in class...i feel really sorry for her parents (second time saying it.)...tomorrow they will go back to korea so this is like our final farewell to jina.

things happen so fast. most good things don't stay for too long...so we must treasure them.
...which is possibly what robert frost(?) meant.

-ommited sentence--end of ommited sentence--

i officially quit maple during the school holidays. which is also part of project: new leaf. i almost forgot about that project until the september holidays.

*salutes...this time it's for jina*
lyzz, signin' off.

[man, my blog's cobwebby. haven't updated it for a long time...i'm not as free as some people...]

...currently isolated....//

2007-08-08T16:35:00.000+08:00

man...i haven't been blogging for days...months probably.

and i just recently found out charis got a blog. (nice blog btw, charis...^^)

*oh yeah, apologies for the crappy spelling in the previous post, i do honestly swear (not supposed to do so) that it was me behind the crappy spelling+post 'coz i was such in a hurry....so, ya.*

*watches in front of the so called "cobwebby" blog*

...so, anywayz, wazzup? (the ceiling, or perhaps the sky!)

some people i know might think i'm all immature and stuff, and i've gotta admit, gettin' to know myself and all, i am kind of immature (even though i just said so myself! ^^)...but that doesn't mean that's who i am overall. i like to be straight to the point...i like to tell it straight, i don't like to be pushed around. i tend to be jealous sometimes (no, amanda, i wasn't jealous of you guys not attending class yawnz0rz.), but that's because i'm imperfect, like all people are. NOBODY'S PERFECT, remember? even though i'm pretty smart and all, but i don't have the looks of a perfect girl...some people call me a nerd, but, why force me into a skimpy short skirt? it's not that i'm not proud of myself, it's also not because i'm making an image that i'm a nerd (whcih i am clearly not)...it's because i like to be someone that some people call an "individualist"...someone who doesn't mind to be an outcast because that person isn't "with the flow". sure, i like keeping my skirt long, i do mind if my blouse is not tucked in, i like my socks being high (but not as high as soham's xD)....but that's because...well, i'm used to it that way, being brought up in a family who cares a lot about modesty and being enrolled in catholic schools when i was younger (primary school, dimwit) and all...

...i am not crazy. ok, some might not like it with my "outburst of enthusiasm"...but it's my way of saying "do you even know i'm here?" in a subtle way, although some might not get the message...but i'm not an attention seeker...and i don't want all the attention...i just want to be understood. it's a simple wish, i know.

...now that's outta my mind, i'd like to say "wahoooooo!"

btw, today's ndp was too short, although i like the chinook helicopter (that helicopter can carry a tank! ain't that awesome? ^^) and the other stuff...but i didn't like the performances...no offence, but it needs a little tweaking...that thing that makes you go "ooh...ahh" and have that certain awe and wonder (look, i'm not used to this phrasing)...plus, that cameraman needs a bit more practice...it makes me go dizzy, if you were watching the tv telecast, you'd probably know...not that the ndp sucks...it can be better, though. ^^

seeing all the blogs from my fellow classmates are...well, weird.

...gotta go back and surf the net. just found something from newgrounds (yes, i do go there.)
...and do some relinking for this blog.

*salutes twice, one for SG and another for unknown habitual reasons*
lyzz, signin' off! ^^

mro bro brekdancing....

2007-07-30T12:23:00.001+08:00

here's a video of my bro dancing.... and i'm very bored!

sigh//

2007-07-12T12:18:00.000+08:00

it's like, it's been waaaaaaaaaaay back when i last posted.

okay. the last few weeks have been real crazy...i dunno why.

i won't be posting for a long time though (how many times have i said that? i bet it's 10.)

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

*this post have been posted nowhere from the usual...^^*

nothin' to do...

2007-07-05T19:40:00.001+08:00

nothin' to post...just another version of canon...^^

here goes nothing ^^//

2007-07-02T13:19:00.000+08:00

class blog got new update!! check it out!http://2e1-r0ckers2007.blogspot.com

okayz...last friday (freitag?) was very wierd...refer to jing shi's blog for more info...

i finally found my long-lost tie after searchig for it for almost a year...my blog's turning two this year on 3 august...how fast time goes by...and this layout was only in plain black at that time...^^

and it had around 150 hits, 'coz this wasn't really popular. >.<

i have to say...project: new leaf is going quite well, although i haven't taken out blogging outta my system.

i gotta go...busy with a lot of stuff.

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off!

*don't forget to check out the class blog!*

some endings and some beginnings...//

2007-06-24T13:07:00.001+08:00

ok...the slash's intentional...and as for the tagboard, i might do something about that soon.

and when i mean soon, it might mean never.

i might quit blogging, since my bro apparently framed me with the pc and started "spillin' the beans". so now i'm stuck with blogging in school. but i decided that i wouldn't. 'coz i'm turnin' over a new leaf.

and...since this is the last day of vacation, i just would like to say goodbye to min jung, since she's changing schools.

as for the turnin' over a new leaf...i'd better explain it in...i dunno...simple terms?
i've been thinkin' it over, and i was thinking of reverting back to my sec 1 ways...the quiet "only-talking-if-i-have-something-important-to-say" type...'coz i don't like the way i turned out last sem.
but i won't change the way that i speak off my own mind...'coz if i keep it to myself, there won't be change, everything will be the same, nothing would improve in my "better" kind of way...but if it hurts others...it needs thinkin' of. (bad grammar)

i got sick of michael talking about maple the whole time...he never sees me (or joanna) talking about audition all day, and he gets annoyed if i (or we) does so. he might think amanda or xin ying or jing shi never get annoyed, but I AM. i'm completely sick of it! (i know michael might kill me because of this...but who the heck cares.) it's like maplestory's his only life. my advice: get a life. there's more to life than maple...there's school *we're all stuck with it*, there's our life at home...a lot of stuff. and i like to enjoy it just as that. 'coz we got only one life to live...so live it! (M1 commercial xD) (blah...thinkin' too deep)

*no people were hurt with the making of this post...neither was there any people hypnotised in doing so* <---just for the fun of it!

*salutes*
lyzz, signin' off! ^^

Operation: I.R.O.N.I.C.

MOVED BLOG!

for teh lulz

UPDATE AS PROMISED

i'll meet you there :)

sian-isms.

plants.

runnin in my head

too much stuff

eat my dust

general apology.

dimwitzzz

hmm?

bored

:)

whu-, get that thing outta my face.

whoosh.

mushroom heaven

a foxtrot above my head...

haldo.

:(

hallo und auf wiedersehen

living on a prayer

Derp!

BRAIN DEAD.

wheeee *spazzes out*

*fails miserably*

boredom.

*sneezes*

serious business. :D

curious.

weird night.

Waging wars, common sense and some other stuff.

random lolness. :p

Hello. ;D

raglfragtl

100. Hurrah!

99.

98. Do you like pie?

Meh!

it's a double post!

Events and other stuffs.

private servers, blogskins and a whole lotta detective stories.

I am weird.

exam week. ah the misery.

i'm dangerous. *sinister smile*

90th post!

bored.

Whee!

erm. yeah.

>.> <.<

hello again, my little compy.

ehehehe...

hello.

yo.

thoughts from a forgotten kid

BLAH.

blog three-point-oh up and a-going.

idiots come from space...

random survey, foo'!

this ends today?

i'm soooooo sleepy.

and they say silence makes people crazy.

philosophically thinking.

of raisins and other crap.

rawr

darn it.

...life's a mess.

dangit

of school, weird stuff and ranting.

whatever.

dingdondangdong...dingdingdingdong

...slinks away...

...he was a boy, she was a girl...//

dangit.

...nyuh...//

snuck in.

drownin' at the southeast asian homework sea.

uNrEaChAbLe

yahaha....

wheeee spazzes out

fails miserably

sneezes

i'm dangerous. sinister smile

slapped...//

scribbles//

.........<>...............

sigh//