living on a prayer

Song got stuck in my head...it's pretty much an old song (i dunno how old), my bro-mide kept playing it while i was browsing my parent's files in my compy (on accident, of course...*smiles guiltily)...

...if you wanna know what song it is, it's "Living on A Prayer" by Bon Jovi. It's quite nice actually. :D

i don't think i'd be updating much here anymore, and still haven't updated my "serious" blog. i have so many thoughts, but i don't have the time to type them down, and besides, i'm trying to lie low on the parent radar.

...which brings to the explanation why i can't go to any class event. i don't think my parents trust me enough to let me go, i'll never know why. i'll try to earn it back somehow, but right now i don't have one of them brillant plans yet.

except stealing the laptop to blog this. :D

yesterday someone told me to grow up. i've been mulling this over many times...i dunno. i feel like i should leave those immature times behind and move out to more responsibilties, but another side tells me i shouldn't grow up so fast...

i feel like i want to be in between, but life does not provide that option. darn it.

...so, now what? i'm not really sure.

O levels are coming soon. i've started revising a few nights ago...don't worry, i take a break once in a while.

People say if you did your best you shouldn't worry about your results. i'm more worried if people don't believe that i already put in so much effort...many would think it wouldn't be enough.

i'm actually more scared of facing eveyone in shame. i'm such a failure. :(

*sips coffee* perhaps i should drink less coffee, eh?

i envy many people who have lesser worries in life. Unlike me who have to keep up that high standards, they don't have to worry whether their parents would scold them for a low grade or being damn clumsy...i just wish i wasn't that smart. i just want to be a normal kid.

...But i don't think i will get my way in that. Because i wished many years back that i want to be someone extraordinary and stuff.

Well, like they say, be careful what you wish for, haha.

...But that doesn't mean i'm ungrateful for being smart and stuff. It does have its privileges.

...But i wish that being smart didn't include arrogance. Even my own arrogance irks me.

*sigh*

'til next post (which would most likely be next month). :)

(haven't you noticed that i don't capitalize my "i"s? well you should. you dunno what you're missing)

Derp!

Hallo.

'Sup?

Why am I feeling this way?

Ok. Maybe I'm not so smart as I thought.
Maybe I'm pretty much like Artemis Fowl, who knows almost nothing in "this kind of relationships."

Haha.

Enough of this blabber.
I only blogged to advertise my side blog on serious business.
Link: http://imnot-anidiot.blogspot.com/

*not bothered to hyperlink. copypaste plz*

I probably won't be updating it often, but I'll be posting there whatever is too serious for this blog. 'coz this blog is full of nonsense, haha.

see ya.

Listening to: Lemon Tree. "I wonder how, I wonder why..."
Reading: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Drinking: 7up.
Mood: Dunno.

BRAIN DEAD.

Hallo. Been out lately, now rushing out with homework.

So, anyways.

VJC Choral auditions didn't go out so well, I knew I wouldn't be in, I screwed up. But, there's still hope (aka O-Levels itself). Thanks to all who supported me and stuff, really appreciated it.

Methinks I'm losing weight. So much stress. Haha.

Went to Macritchie (howyaspellit?) park/reservoir a few days back. It was tiring, walking around 11km...We pretty much circled the whole place, we weren't able to go to the treetop walk, but I had fun anyways. Lol, if you call walking fun. Also saw huge spiders and monitor lizards and probably a croc. I dunno.

Also has a warden thingy coming up. Very busy this year, haha.

Still haven't finished my flash project. Back to square one because of whole compy reset.

Looking for dress for prom night. So fast?

Planning to buy F1 tix for parents. Hoping to earn enough money, even just for the walkabout. Haha.

Will continue playing. Til next post.

(still haven't signed up for dA. Will do soon, really.)

wheeee *spazzes out*

Hallo, my attentive readers...if I have any.

Man, my overall percentage is low. 71.something%. 6th in class.

DAMN IRRITATED WITH SELF.

I can't believe myself. I was such a slacker.

I could've beaten YJ...if I weren't such a slack.

IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, enough of self-scolding.

I'm making a DeviantArt account for random purposes. Soon, very soon. :D

(can't think of a better closing thingymajig)

*fails miserably*

Ah. I knew I'd meet disappointment yet again.

I knew we'd be such good friends.

Anyways. I'm quite disappointed with my results. I knew that my "lotsa effort" wouldn't be enough.

Back to the study table then...I mean, during the holidays. And devise another plan. To...um...stuff.

So here are my results (giving out percentage, because I want it that way):
>English: 64[B4] - very distressed over this one. Gotta work hard on my compre.
>EMath: 79[A1] - the only subject where Michael beat me. Must not allow that next time.
>AMath: 50[C6] - a just pass from a pity mark. Still, must not rely on luck next time.
>Humanities: 75[A1] - no good, must work harder.144.5
>Science (Phy/Chem): 85?[A1] - even if it's a high grade, i must try to get higher marks. :D
>Biology: 78[A1] - can't I do better? Yes, I think I can.

...so far I predict that Huy will be first in class. I think Yu Juan will be second...or Xiao Ke.
Me?I'll be 11th. Hah.

I still have DSA forms to print out, and stuff to photocopy.

...doing it like I still got hope.

...I'm even doubting it if I'll actually make it.

...but there's no harm in trying right?

I can't always wait for my O-levels...I feel like I want to do something, but there's always a part of me that says, "you won't make it, what's the point of trying, you dimwit?"

...of course, there are times I try to prove that wrong...but today I really feel like giving up.

So what's my holiday agenda?
>Go for that remedial thingy.
>mull it over if I want to go for that chalet thing (if it's not cancelled)
>do holiday homework, of course.
>expectantly stare at the mailbox, hoping some school would accept a dreadful student like me.
>study, study, study, STUDY!!!
>motivate self to beat...um, y'know...Huy?
>keep hands off fridge.
>remember to go for warden duty.
>beat up the wall, 'coz it was useless.
>put head in toilet bowl. 'coz I'm full of fail and it deserves to go there.
>download adobe flash.

I have big plans for teh futur, but it seems like teh wurld doesn't want to cooperate. DAMN YOUUUUUUU.

kidding.

Taking note:
>study physics and chem until IT'S STUCK IN UR HEAD AAAAAAAAAAH.
>practice amath and emath until your brain gets a meltdown.
>practice structured essays until your hands drop dead.
>study bio until it's pretty much part of your everyday life.

Being a student's a nightmare, ain't it?

I can't think of anything else right now. Haha.

Off to fill out forms and start writing for my experimental film.

Auf Wiedersehen. :D

(P.S. :Michael and Karl, if you're reading this, I swear I'll beat you. You'll see. Hahahaha :D C'mon, for friendly competition's sake? Lol)

boredom.

I gots an oral exam later, so I'm gonna make this quick.

WHEEEE NO MORE EXAMS!!!!

and...

AHH, MY RESULTS WILL SURELY SUCK!

...now allow me to sit in one corner and ponder how full of fail my life is.

Thank you.

(note: not going emo, just going through that paranoid result thing phase. don't get it? *shrugs*)

*sneezes*

hallo.

I've been sneezing since yesterday, but I guess my sore throat and cough pretty much subsided.

...my classmates think I got the flu, but I'm guessing it's just a minor cold.

whoop. I'm feeling tad better already.

...perhaps all I needed was rest?

hmm.

Now I gotta go mop the floor, cook rice then revise my geog.

:)