mushroom heaven

i dreamt of a world where we ate mushrooms everyday. it was weird. :/

on another note, i'm effing bored to death.

i don't have a job yet, and even though i want to go on to do some voluntary work, i can't. i has bro-mide responsibilities. or whatever you call it.

what a drag. :(

so now i'm busy writing something. it looks good now, but i don't know how it'll turn out if i read it sometime later. lol. basically, the story's about a rich guy who has this lazy, self-centered attitude who gets a bodyguard, who is a girl, who has this "i am smarter than thou" and sarcastic attitude. of course, the guy thinks the girl is no good to be a bodyguard...and blah, blah, blah. i wouldn't possibly disclose the other parts of the story now, would i?

oh well.

i can't believe i'm saying this, but...

I MISS SCHOOL.

what the f is wrong with me?

*sigh* but i don't want to repeat secondary school. no way. :(

i just hope that i get good, i mean, awesome marks for my o-levels. waaah.

i really miss you. :/

grrr, if only i could go back to ph and forget all of this. but my cousins still have school...i'm not so selfish as to bother them just to fulfill my wants...

i'll just go and play pokemon on my psp then.

/endpost

a foxtrot above my head...

Hello again.

I'm feeling romantic. Is it because of the upcoming prom night? Or is it just pms?

*sigh*

perhaps it's because i dreamt of being at a porch of a house, being hugged by a guy. unfortunately, i wasn't able to see who the guy is.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! what is wrong with me?!?!?!

i'll post back later, if i can.

/endpost

haldo.

I'm back.

O-Levels are finally over. Ain't it great?

But this would also mean goodbyes.

Would you still remember me?

How would you remember me?
Would you remember me because I always picked on you, or have been sarcastic to you? Or because I was that person with the longest skirt? ...

We'd all be going separate ways. XY and JS would be going to poly, Michael would be going to some private university, Amanda would also be going to a poly, I guess, and Huy, Anh, and Tung would most probably be overseas.

Me? My future remains unclear. Despite me saying I'd be going to a JC, who knows if I actually can get in to my cousin's university in the US of A?

Why do I always have to be different from the others? Was this my destiny? -_-"

I've separated from my friends many times, and began anew too many times. It is rather sad. :(

But I guess life's like that. I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes.

I got hooked on Owl City. :D I like their songs.

Meh. See yah on prom night then.

Save the last dance for me.

:)

:(

-Dead End-

*sigh*

I know I shouldn't be here. I should be studying.

...but I feel like I'm at a dead end.

English....was I guess, quite ok.

Social Studies, well, let's just say the source-based questions were difficult.

Teacher showed us Bio results.

I'm beginning to doubt my own ability. Am I fated to fail?

I cannot let this happen.

I must not.

I'm sorry. I just have to do this.

I cannot let myself be beaten again. I've just had too much.

This failure, it hurts just too much (I'm crying as I'm typing this.)

I guess I have to face this on my own.

Don't worry, I'll be ok.

Thanks for the concern anyway, the simple act of reading this is consolation enough for this battered soul.

-m

hallo und auf wiedersehen

if you can't see the title, it's "hallo und auf wiedersehen(sp?)"

hello because i'm updating this for the first time in months.

and goodbye because it might be might last post for this year.

anyways. on to business.

our principal told us to blog responsibly. well, i tried to. i used no vulgarities (if i did, i would censor it)...and i guess i did look into my grammar and spelling and stuff (please don't mind me typing in small caps - i'm in a rush).

...but i did made a couple of mistakes:

>like the time when i made personal attacks on people on my blog

>giving pretty much one-sided views

>mindless typing, if you know what i mean.

oh well. no one's perfect.

speaking of which. i'm not perfect, and i'm not the smartest student in the class. many things happened during the whole course of august.

firstly, i had my first outburst in class. i cried over a certain thing i do not want to talk about. while i was disappointed that there was no one who comforted me while i was crying (i guess they would not understand, i face such pressures. D:), i was glad my humanities teacher was able to straighten me up and pretty much made me snap out of it and stop feeling sorry for myself.

i was rather relieved that it was not the 'o' levels itself, although now i am doubting my own ability. what if i fail?!

oral exams was quite hard, with me forgetting a lot of things and pretty much embarrassing myself in front of the examiners. *hangs head in shame* but seeing how much more harder the next oral exams were, i was glad i was on the first day. :D i guess God has His ways...

now i am facing a certain question: is o-levels really worth suffering for?

i pretty much hope so.

i have almost abandoned my social life (not like i have any)

i spent sleepless nights trying to memorize formulas and a lot of other things.

...and a lot of other things.

please tell me all my efforts were not in vain.

i've gotta be honest, while i despise my smarts, i envy people who can get a's at subjects i'm not good at...and they make it look like it's some primary school question. i guess i will never be satisfied.

...but that doesn't mean i'm ungrateful person. or something along those words.

my whole class has been quite a pest lately. boys in the class are becoming even more moronic, doing things that cause nothing but bother to those who happen to be their hapless victims (er, what?). the girls...well, let's not get me started over that, shall we?

teachers' day is coming. i'm singing for the teachers, but i'm not going to shame myself once more by dancing to "nobody"...no, please, no.

happy teachers' day, by the way, to teachers from my school who are reading this blog (like there are any).

...now to find that ip tracker...

so long, until exams are finally over.

-m

living on a prayer

Song got stuck in my head...it's pretty much an old song (i dunno how old), my bro-mide kept playing it while i was browsing my parent's files in my compy (on accident, of course...*smiles guiltily)...

...if you wanna know what song it is, it's "Living on A Prayer" by Bon Jovi. It's quite nice actually. :D

i don't think i'd be updating much here anymore, and still haven't updated my "serious" blog. i have so many thoughts, but i don't have the time to type them down, and besides, i'm trying to lie low on the parent radar.

...which brings to the explanation why i can't go to any class event. i don't think my parents trust me enough to let me go, i'll never know why. i'll try to earn it back somehow, but right now i don't have one of them brillant plans yet.

except stealing the laptop to blog this. :D

yesterday someone told me to grow up. i've been mulling this over many times...i dunno. i feel like i should leave those immature times behind and move out to more responsibilties, but another side tells me i shouldn't grow up so fast...

i feel like i want to be in between, but life does not provide that option. darn it.

...so, now what? i'm not really sure.

O levels are coming soon. i've started revising a few nights ago...don't worry, i take a break once in a while.

People say if you did your best you shouldn't worry about your results. i'm more worried if people don't believe that i already put in so much effort...many would think it wouldn't be enough.

i'm actually more scared of facing eveyone in shame. i'm such a failure. :(

*sips coffee* perhaps i should drink less coffee, eh?

i envy many people who have lesser worries in life. Unlike me who have to keep up that high standards, they don't have to worry whether their parents would scold them for a low grade or being damn clumsy...i just wish i wasn't that smart. i just want to be a normal kid.

...But i don't think i will get my way in that. Because i wished many years back that i want to be someone extraordinary and stuff.

Well, like they say, be careful what you wish for, haha.

...But that doesn't mean i'm ungrateful for being smart and stuff. It does have its privileges.

...But i wish that being smart didn't include arrogance. Even my own arrogance irks me.

*sigh*

'til next post (which would most likely be next month). :)

(haven't you noticed that i don't capitalize my "i"s? well you should. you dunno what you're missing)

Derp!

Hallo.

'Sup?

Why am I feeling this way?

Ok. Maybe I'm not so smart as I thought.
Maybe I'm pretty much like Artemis Fowl, who knows almost nothing in "this kind of relationships."

Haha.

Enough of this blabber.
I only blogged to advertise my side blog on serious business.
Link: http://imnot-anidiot.blogspot.com/

*not bothered to hyperlink. copypaste plz*

I probably won't be updating it often, but I'll be posting there whatever is too serious for this blog. 'coz this blog is full of nonsense, haha.

see ya.

Listening to: Lemon Tree. "I wonder how, I wonder why..."
Reading: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Drinking: 7up.
Mood: Dunno.