Monday, March 10, 2008

of school, weird stuff and ranting.

i won't go into the old system again.

meh. this past few weeks has been rainy. i like the rain, but i don't like when it rains on the holidays and if i have guests on those days.

and i positively don't like going back to school on the holidays...and holiday homework.
who suggested going back to school on holidays and doing holiday homework?
you people are weird.

i don't have much to rant about though.

last saturday i went for the nus geography challenge with ms choo, a sec 2 girl named hannah (amanda, you know her?), a sec 2 guy named mervin, and 2 sec 4 girls whose names i couldn't remember. man, even if we wouldn't get in the top 30, we were one heck of a team. i mean, i had fun, although i was quite reluctant.

...but the questions were pure geography material. dang it...except for the second part of the prelims. it was when it started to get fun. ^^

...i didn't go for choir practice. why?
> 'coz i don't like the idea of going back to school on holidays. i am against the whole idea.
> i'm busy entertaining guests, who happens to be my relatives. can't i have quality time with my relatives? i know this isn't a valid reason for you choir leaders and teacher in charge, but, i think my family comes first before anything else 'coz i wouldn't be in school without them, wouldn't i? *rhetorical question*
> like i said, i'm a family-oriented person. i want to spend time with them while i can, and while they're still alive, 'coz i can't spend time with them when they're dead *touches wood*. yeah, i wouldn't much use to a dead person, wouldn't i? *another rhetorical question*

ok. so i didn't come to lenten vigil too. i wasn't able to come 'coz i wasn't feeling well, i was in jurong...and i didn't take an afternoon nap.

...why was i in jurong?...i was supposed to take something there, i can't recall what was it, and well, it so happens that...i forgot what happens next, i have a bad sense of memory...

ok. now to do what i was here for.

i'm gonna do what xin ying did, 'coz i can't keep in my feelings any longer.
...and i have to admit, i'm slightly emo xD (it doesn't show?...this proves i'm good at faking that i'm not. xP)

joanna: ....*sigh* do you really wanna know? if you don't want to get hurt, close this window.
i've got to admit.you can be quite annoying sometimes, i just don't dare say it. i don't mean to backstab and such, though...i'm still jealous that you were able to change to another school, and i'm quite annoyed about the reason why you changed school...but i don't mean to be selfish and stuff...which is probably the reason i let it go. i don't call much anymore, and sometimes when you call me, you always hear me like i'm in a hurry. times have changed, i don't have much time anymore, which leads my life into an imminent disaster. x.x
...and besides, i've learned the the school's reputation is nothing without its students. so, i'm trying to clear up the school's name on academics: by topping the school's o-levels with a whooping score...a score high enough to let me enter victoria junior college. i know it's impossible, but hey, flying was thought impossible until airplanes were introduced. ^^
...yeah, but it still something too much. :P
...but, this doesn't mean that i hate you. i still like you, 'coz you're still someone i can relate to...and you're someone that is too good to lose. may your relationship with hamza won't be a flop. ^^

amanda:...a lot has changed from the past three years, no?...i remember you saying that you are straight-forward person, so i'm gonna be straight-forward to you too.
you used to be that person who i can hang out with. i used to think of you as very cool and stuff, 'coz, well, i don't remember. i've always thought of you as a good leader before, but, as i've said, things have changed.
...you became more childish, no offense...it's as if you've grown backwards or something. you want things done your way, like that chemistry test mrs koh gave us recently, remember? i remember you saying that if you fail the test, you're gonna blame it on mrs koh. i know you were joking on that part, but what if people take it for granted? i say if the teacher is lousy, i'd do my own work instead, or you could go for tuition. ain't that a simple solution? you can't blame a teacher for teaching that way, 'coz that's her technique. if you don't like it, you could tell her about what you don't like about the way she/he teaches. it won't be solved unless someone does something, right?
...you have also become more selfish, and more of a spoiled brat. yes, you've told me last year that you are quite spoiled, and i told you that you weren't like that. maybe i was wrong. maybe i haven't seen your real side yet.
...you used to be...well...quite approachable. you used to be someone i could talk to...you used to be someone who goes in the same bus as me and talk about a lot of stuff. maybe i was too boring for you, i wouldn't mind...maybe i was too arrogant and cynical, or maybe i still am, i'm trying to improve on it...and you used to say vulgarities not so often. now it seems like vulgarities are part of your vocabulary, which is not a good image for a rite-awardee like you. can you please cut down on them? but this is merely a suggestion, i'm not forcing you to do anything, kapeesh?
...and ever since you went really serious about the whole "les" thing, you went really crazy, as in annoying-type crazy...you became even more sick-minded. you go emo when trina ignores you. i want the old amanda back, but i can't force people to do my bidding, can i?
(btw, i am being outcasted, and you don't need to apologize. it's too late, and i'm outcasting myself from the whole gang. i know the clique is falling apart, and, well, i think it's too late to fix it, not that i'm being a pessimist)

michael: i know you like corrinne (or however you spell it)...i don't like her that much, but don't let my thoughts get in the way of your feelings. if you really like her, then fine, as long as you're happy. if others don't like you being together, then heck care what they think. what matters most is what you feel...but, please do not forget your friends, 'coz corrinne isn't the only person in the world. and if she rejects you, don't mope around and go emo. respect her decision. she isn't the only girl in the world. probably now ain't the time for you to have a girlfriend, so don't rush. and besides, there are more girls in the world that you haven't met, and you can't be sure corrinne's the one for you...but that doesn't mean that you go date every single girl on the planet, 'coz that is extremely weird.
...btw, i like your decision to turn over a new leaf. i wanted to turn over a new leaf too, but my own self kept stopping me from doing so. but i am trying, though. ^^

xin ying: ...yes i did say things do change, and i'm not the only one seeing the changes.
...yes, you did become a bit weird, but not weird to the point of being crazy...you weren't so emo as before, and i like it. ^^
amanda did say once the you don't "click" anymore, that you were being annoying. but i don't think that you are annoying...seriously. i am not being biased, 'coz that would mean that i am lying, which i don't plan to do right now.
...a lot of things did change for the past three years that i have been here.

...to the whole lot that has been reading this: i have noticed that i've changed a lot too. i've made new friends this year, i have seen things from a different perspective, a lot has seiously changed. but that doesn't mean i like everything that has changed from my past personality. it seems like i have been more arrogant (i've said it before and i'll say it again)...i have been trying to humble myself. it's just me who's been stubborn.

...well.. i can't think of anything else to say. i'm not hiding any more stuff in the head.

man, ranting stuff is fun ^^

see ya,
mariel ^^

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