runnin in my head

today, i learnt many things.

the first: everything isn't always in my control.

when i was a kid, i wanted everything to be perfect. like on tv, where the main character is always well-liked any popular, and has good grades, and...well everything. which is why i took it very hard when i didn't get in the top 3 students when i was primary 4.

however, i just brushed this off soon after, after i made a fresh new start in primary 5, in a totally different school.

soon i moved to singapore, where i met many awesome people. i met may disappointments, but most of them i considered minor, because i knew that i can somehow change them for the better.

today, i tried to be in my best, trying to serve a fellow student. my intentions were good and sincere.

but like what murphy's law states "whatever bad that can possibly happen, will happen" (or something similar to that)

i tried my best, but i can't do anything about it.

the second: i picked the most awesome-est of friends, even though sometimes i rue them so.

i always had someone to be crazy with, and to be emo with.

i also had someone to complain to.

i also had someone who i used as a punching bag to my sarcasm, narcissism, and everything else due to my frustrations with the world. i apologize and thank you for that.

i also had someone who always reminded me i must always work hard and never be complacent in my work, 'cause even the underdog can beat the people at the top.

i have friends who would fight for me if i got offended, even though i know (or at least, i think so) i can fend for myself.

i have friends who taught me to broaden my horizons, to move out of my comfort zone.

i have friends who've encouraged me...albeit sometimes quite subtle.

they have taught me realism, that everything's rarely perfect.

some have taught me stuff about school, but most of them taught me stuff they never teach in school.

they were the answer to my prayer when i was a kid: to have an exciting, fun-filled life, although this wasn't really what i had in mind.

you guys brought a multitude of colours in my life (cheesy, i know)

most of all, they made me feel that i'm no insignificant dot.

thanks so much. :D

don't worry, i'm not dying. i just wanted to express my gratitude, which i should have done long ago.

a lot of things have been happening recently. sometimes i lose faith in myself, and scold myself for what went wrong.

but i reassure myself that it isn't my fault.

recently, i've also have my ups and downs...life's like that.

so far, i'm doing quite well. i finally got the hang of balancing school stuff and council, and housework and church. it's been fun. my parents know what i'm doing, and they've been great help in encouraging me and stuff.

i also realised i've been losing sleep the past few weeks. lol.

i got mid-years coming soon, haha. i'm worried.

i'll just go back to studying my notes why watching youtube videos. hahaha :D

-m