for teh lulz

lol. i've been generally bugging many people about their grammatical mistakes, even talking about grammatical errors made by my lecturers. this grammar criticism has been quite a habit (despite the fact that i'm still lazy to use proper capitalisation of letters), i hope no one kills me over it. i don't intend on wanting to lose this habit, though.

this week has been very tiring. i was recently busy doing council work involving orientation, and who knew orientation-organising could be so tough? plus there's the dance practices...i mean, dancing is ok, but i'm kind of tired of it. (in a literal sense, physically and mentally.)

but i'll make it, don't worry. i'm not dead yet, and still keeping my sanity. (i managed to get some back, but i will still act crazy and stuff, for keeping boredom away.)

right now i'm in the middle of doing chemistry tutorial on arenes. i'm quite liking how the paces of the lectures have been, but i don't like the fact that the lectures go on for 2 hours. however, i guess i really have to get used to this fact, although i don't know much about how things go on in a university, i have to make myself prepared for whatever's coming.

i always seem to attract crazy people. secondary school, jc, will i have another crazy bunch of people as friends in the future?

i certainly hope so, 'cause these bunch of crazy people i have befriended over the years have certainly made my life less monotonous. (in other words, brought colour to this smart idiot's life.)

secondary school has really been fun. i will miss being sarcastic (not like i'm not sarcastic anymore), and being around my clique (i'll admit to being part of a clique. it's not a sin to be in one, right?)...although i haven't been the most outgoing one in the gang. haha.

jc ain't that bad either, although i'm only halfway through the course of my jc life. although project work itself hung like a black cloud over all of our heads, my group's randomness surely made doing project work less of a bore. as mentioned above, council ain't that bad either.

maybe i should add drawings next time.

maybe i should set up my deviantart acct.

maybe i should stop procrastinating and do my work.

:)

g'nite world.

UPDATE AS PROMISED

allo everyone. since promos are over and i'm waiting for bro-mide to finish stuff in his com before i can finish my animation, i guess it's about time i returned to blogging. heh. (as long as i don't get detected again)

i feel that i've definitely lost my touch. i guess i got too overconfident with my o-level results that i had the mentality of me being "so damn smart" that i can just brush off through all my school work. i guess i really have to work harder this time, more than i ever did in secondary school. (or more than how i did this past few months.)

so why all this crap talk?

don't worry. i'm going to be in jc2 next year.

it's just that i'm dissatisfied with my promo results. ok, it definitely was an improvement from midyear exams, which left me quite sad, and led me to self-hatred, thinking why did i even let myself screw up sooooo badly. and yeah, i won't be retained, nor have the burden of having myself think that i only got into jc2 because the school gave me the chance to do so, because i got into jc2 due to my own efforts (meaning i qualify for jc2 without moderating my grades.).

it's just that my grades are not spectacular as they used to be.

ok, i guess i have to face the fact that i'm not in btss anymore. i'm not saying btss sucked (but it's nowhere near "leet school standard" either), i guess i still have not gotten used to the fact that since i'm in a jc (mjc for that matter, which has quite a reputation), i'll be surrounded by people who came from better schools, and it would be no surprise if they all are better than me.

i guess i'll have to think of a better strategy then (which doesn't involve anything evil such as tearing books in the library or sabotaging others for my own benefit. i'm not that bad, seriously.)

ah.

on another note, i don't seem to be putting much effort. better start getting to work then.

remind me sometime: i aim to get straight A's at the a-levels.

next year i'll be taking the a-levels.

am i terrified? yes. more than i did for the o-levels.

but i will make it. i won't try to meet the grade, i'll give it my all.

just to fulfil my dream.

is having a dream, a wish, childish?

many people would think so.

they'd say real life doesn't work that way.

i know this fact too well.

muh. i must be crazy. i don't really care.

i won't screw up this time.

i'll meet you there :)

"I'll wait for you in my dreams,

underneath the starry sky,

because only in dreams we can meet

without anyone getting in our way..."

-Unknown

"And when you close your tired eyes,

I'll meet you there"

- I'll meet you there by Owl City

(Picture is drawn by me...no takin' without my permission XD)

sian-isms.

today was one of the worst days ever.

firstly, i was faced with one of my add-type moods (a.k.a. attention-seeking mood). i dunno why. i seemed to have ticked many people off today.

then, my brother lost his phone. his phone used to be mine, and it was my 2nd favorite phone that i've used. i was so enraged, i didn't talk to him the entire day, until like 5pm.

then there was that yog torch bearer practice. i missed econs lecture because i stood in front of g.o.. i was that type of person who got bored easily and didn't like wasting my time for something useless, so my random mode kicked in and started doing...eh, silly stuff.

but anyways. i missed econs for this?! i mean, i'm not a huge econs fan, but i just don't like missing lessons. i still remember how sorta p-ed off i was during those soccer-cheering period (even though i didn't show this that much, except that time i was assigned to triton instead of atlas and missed bio *angry face*). i dunno, i just don't like the feeling of missing out on a lot of stuff, even though most of the time i doze off during lectures (but i'm more prepared this time. hahaha).

then after that we councillors had a scolding for the latecoming problem. i mean, i wasn't late this time, seriously. but what i was sorta ticked off was that it was moved back again to 710 am instead of 715. what really makes me wonder is that despite we come early, we still do duty late, don't we? (just hope the higher-ups don't see this. eeps.)

...what's more, doing study benches is demotivating (albeit me not doing that duty for this week.) you tell them to move, but all this falls on deaf ears. they only move when the teacher comes in. and i remember during my nominee days that when the teachers come in, the sc has not been doing a good job.

omg, i'm doing my job wrong then.

whaddya expect me to do, poke them until they move? i dunno anymore.

afterwards the whole thing i didn't have the motivation to move my butt to chem lecture, 'cause i knew lecture was gonna end soon. but good thing i went for the lecture. they were on optical thingymajigies already.

...when i went home i forgot to ask chun xi about the chem notes after being sucked in to a conversation with benj. stupid me.

then i went home and redid my gpp stuff. then afterwards i did my econs notes.

frustration kicked in when my parents asked me to help them move stuff (we just installed those ikea-type floors). i was so frustrated. i'm doing my work, can't they see that?

so when i finally couldn't take it hiding it anymore, i decided to show how angry i was.

guess that wasn't the right move to do, 'cause i got a mouthful later.

of course, it only made my evil mood worse.

graaaah. fortunately, i never lashed out at them (except thru body language, but i think i showed it too subtly they didn't notice -_-").

so now i'm venting my frustrations by furiously typing into my unfortunate lappy (sorry lappy dear!).

i'll end my ranting here.

see ya.

-m

plants.

i haven't been able to blog so often as i used to, nor have i been on fb that often. i got banned from that dastardly thing...no regrets, i've planned to quit a long time ago. i'm still figuring out how to move out of the withdrawal stage, though.

*sigh*

i haven't been online on msn either. sorry folks. (will add you soon. really really.)

anyways, i've finally adjusted to this hectic lifestyle (can you believe it?). this won't mean updates though, even if i'm on my lappy i'd still be preoccupied with project work. haha.

organised my first school event. well, not really, i was second in charge, but i'm in charge of the techie stuff. didn't know how hard these stuff was, but i guess i have to get used to it, being in the council and such.

on another note, just to get rid of that pessimistic cloud in my head, i bet they hate me for being such a slacking pest. i mean, i'm not slacking on my job, but my multiple excuses make it seem like so in retrospect. unfortunately, i really have a curfew now, and i was busy during the holidays. so there.

it's just that the truth always seems ridiculous compared to what you want to hear, to the lies.

because lies are just too common, it seems like it's the truth.

ok, enough philosophy. i'm trying to clear everything in my head. i have like, 10 or less weeks to study for promos, and no way am i wanting to fail this one (who does?)

i just don't wanna make the same stupid mistakes again.

please don't be angry if...

>i don't take your call

>i don't sms you back

>i don't go online

...it just means i have my priorities to settle.

i don't wanna get a smiley face for a grade anymore. i just don't.

i get irked by those people who seem to do better than me. i can't take losing to anyone. it's just in my nature. (i'm sorry.)

i shall stop procrastinating. seriously.

TO DO:

>continue revision for bio, chem, math, econs

>argue with the newspaper

>meet up with sec school friends (when? xy, amanda, mich, anh, huy, when are you guys free?!? you guys seem to be free when i'm not, and busy when i am free. LOL!)

>jc bash jc bash jc bash omg.

>start deciding on how to celebrate the 18th, 'cause my parents are bugging me.

>watch despicable me, then inception. if and only if i have the time.

>do something about the lack of blazer bags

>bother chun xi with the research

>deal with the fb problem and other kinds of crap.

>think think think

>insanity :P

>stop procrastinating!!!!!!!!!!!

BAI NOW.

-the girl who hurt her finger with her braces. stupid dimwit.

runnin in my head

today, i learnt many things.

the first: everything isn't always in my control.

when i was a kid, i wanted everything to be perfect. like on tv, where the main character is always well-liked any popular, and has good grades, and...well everything. which is why i took it very hard when i didn't get in the top 3 students when i was primary 4.

however, i just brushed this off soon after, after i made a fresh new start in primary 5, in a totally different school.

soon i moved to singapore, where i met many awesome people. i met may disappointments, but most of them i considered minor, because i knew that i can somehow change them for the better.

today, i tried to be in my best, trying to serve a fellow student. my intentions were good and sincere.

but like what murphy's law states "whatever bad that can possibly happen, will happen" (or something similar to that)

i tried my best, but i can't do anything about it.

the second: i picked the most awesome-est of friends, even though sometimes i rue them so.

i always had someone to be crazy with, and to be emo with.

i also had someone to complain to.

i also had someone who i used as a punching bag to my sarcasm, narcissism, and everything else due to my frustrations with the world. i apologize and thank you for that.

i also had someone who always reminded me i must always work hard and never be complacent in my work, 'cause even the underdog can beat the people at the top.

i have friends who would fight for me if i got offended, even though i know (or at least, i think so) i can fend for myself.

i have friends who taught me to broaden my horizons, to move out of my comfort zone.

i have friends who've encouraged me...albeit sometimes quite subtle.

they have taught me realism, that everything's rarely perfect.

some have taught me stuff about school, but most of them taught me stuff they never teach in school.

they were the answer to my prayer when i was a kid: to have an exciting, fun-filled life, although this wasn't really what i had in mind.

you guys brought a multitude of colours in my life (cheesy, i know)

most of all, they made me feel that i'm no insignificant dot.

thanks so much. :D

don't worry, i'm not dying. i just wanted to express my gratitude, which i should have done long ago.

a lot of things have been happening recently. sometimes i lose faith in myself, and scold myself for what went wrong.

but i reassure myself that it isn't my fault.

recently, i've also have my ups and downs...life's like that.

so far, i'm doing quite well. i finally got the hang of balancing school stuff and council, and housework and church. it's been fun. my parents know what i'm doing, and they've been great help in encouraging me and stuff.

i also realised i've been losing sleep the past few weeks. lol.

i got mid-years coming soon, haha. i'm worried.

i'll just go back to studying my notes why watching youtube videos. hahaha :D

-m

too much stuff

i just finished mugging for econs. so i has freedom to do whatever right now.

i'm lying. i'm not free from work yet.

i have a lot of things bugging me in the head, so pardon me if i shoot anyone. i'm really really sorry.

first of all: criticism.

would you call something overall lousy if someone put all his effort on it, but still failed to make something impressive?

would you call something awesome if he did not put his heart and soul in it, and did it insincerely, but yielded good results?

to make things clearer: if a soccer team was the slacker-type with the team members overly complacent, if they won, would they deserve more praise than the team which works hard, but still hit rock bottom?

criticism cannot be classified as immoral or moral, i'll give that person that. but a judge has a right to criticize as he knows how it's supposed to be done, as he has experience in this kind of stuff. i guess asking an inexperienced person to judge something is pretty much questionable.

another note: friends

how would you feel if you always are subtly outcasted just cause...?

i guess it's pretty much the language barrier for me. i am trying hard to learn chinesisch from my bro.

but this happens all the time. i guess i'll just try to tolerate it.

3rd thing: finances

i am trying hard to budget my allowance for the whole month. please don't ruin it by your extravagant spending and stuff. although spending it on study notes is fine.

ze fourth: my current attitude problem

ever since this year, i tried to change my image from introvert to extrovert.

i think it worked too well, i became too sarcastic.

ah well.

i'm sorry to those i have offended by my acts of narcissism and making fun of you.

just one last thing: cultural invasion

is japan and korea really trying to invade the world with their culture? (though i'm pretty sure korea's just trying to mimic japan, save for the koreanovelas, cause that was totally korea's)

is america too, in a way, influencing what we think?

i've gotta admit though:

>i like japanese anime (i find korean manga/anime a teensy bit irksome, the eyes are drawn huger than in japanese ones. srsly)

>i like csi, flashforward, and house, all of which were produced in usa.

>almost everyone has an iphone now (i'm not gonna buy one though, i'm not bothered until everyone really has one)

in conclusion: i'm an idiot.

-m