"new effective way to make people crazy: make them busy during exam week."-me. lol.
what the heck am i doing, blogging during exam week?
don't worry, it's labor (spelled without a u) day tomorrow. although i better get cracking on my biology notes.
*fictional bio notes tear into half* darn it.
...anyway, yesterday had this nyaa ceremony. i was very tired when i got home...but i still had to do my social studies notes. i slept at around 11...
...and i had the most awesome dream ever (in my humble opinion), lol. only to be interrupted by my alarm clock telling me to move my butt of the bed or i'll be late for school.
...but this dream gives me no reason why i have to post it here.
so anyways...
math paper 1 is a sure fail. i haven't finished it like i did when i was in sec 2...and well, it didn't put me in the good mood. especially when you see people happy about finishing their work, especially if they're the class geniuses (crab mentality)...
...pardon me for envying other people. i dunno how to explain why get envious on such things.
...on second thought, never mind.
then social studies. i worked my hand out...and it took me four pages (three pages actually, if you didn't count the big blank between question 1d and 2a.)...my hand still hurts.
...i don't get what i would use structured essays, logarithms, surds, gravitational laws and other stuff we learn at school for. i guess for other people they just learn it for the sake of finishing school.
i don't seem to care anyway.
gotta go, i got a bus 53 to catch.
see ya,
mariel
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
philosophically thinking.
"you only get to be a kid once"-a tv show...i won't tell the title.
philosophically-wise (or explanation-to-the-quote-above-wise):
(side note: please don't mind me differentiating adults and kids...i'm still struck at the middle, and i seriously don't think i qualify for "teenager level" yet, and i'm not qualified to be a kid or a tween either.)
i've given this quote much thought...it is true, we only get to be kids in around 30% in our lives...and we spend 10% of our lives being teenagers, and 70% being adults (i think so, just a thought, blah blah blah.)
...and remembering what i did when i was young, they were fun times...seriously.
and i still want to have that kind of fun.
that's why i try to be a kid at heart...but that doesn't equal to childishness or whatever. they're both different things.
..but have you realized that the way adults think and the way children think are almost the same? i mean, some might not noticed it...but after close observation, i found out that...
1.) adults would try anything to get something they want (e.g. latest handphone model) like the way how kids would try to get anything to make their parents buy their favorite toy (except in this case, they don't make their own money)
2.)adults still play the "blame game" like children would do ("it's all his fault!"...i confess i still do these kind of stuff)
...right now i can't think of anything else...but you do get my point, right?
...so it gives me this conclusion: no one is really "perfectly mature"
oh yeah, some people may have the qualities of a mature person, but not all of them.
...which means no one is perfect.
...but who cares? if the world is perfect, it would be a complete "bore-fest"...but too much of the imperfect stuff can be bad too...
okay, enough of this subject. i think it bores me to death.
past events-wise:
...so yeahs, the past few days i've been busy helping out in a war (and it doesn't involve real missiles, only words.) , only realizing that i dunno what the heck am i doing...and why the heck am i involved in this mess?
...and until today i still dunno the answers. *sighs*
yesterday, hamza called me...the conversation went sort of like this.
hamza: hi
me: hello
hamza: u got jess' number, right?
me: *scratches head* yes...*was gonna ask why, but was interrupted*
hamza: where did you get her number?
me:...from someone in school... *if you were where i was, you could see me smiling nervously, 'coz i was playing a game against my bro, and i didn't want to lose*
hamza: ok...
me:...so, how's school? *i know, lame question.*
hamza: it's ok...(you're boring me, man. are you sure the hamza i met at speech day?)
me:...ok.
hamza: ...ok, bye.
me: oh wait-
*line dead*
...i was gonna ask him why he asked that ("u got jess' number?"). i haven't been in touch with him for months, same for soham.
...but it is indeed weird. why would he ask a question like that?...is he hiding something?
...from the tone of his voice and his hesitation to have a small little chat, i think he is. *lol, i think i need a trenchcoat*
...but why?...that's something i might need to solve, if i'm in the mood.
...i told nikita about my little secret about the guy i liked last year (joanna probably knows this). (side note #2: why would i still keep it a secret if i had no interest in it anymore? me and my weird head.) she was like "what did you see in that guy anyway?", and i was like "i dunno..."
...after thinking it over and after that call from hamza (this doesn't imply that guy i liked was him) i thought, "what was in my head back then? what was i thinking? what did i see in that dude anyway?"
...and i thought how lucky i was that that relationship didn't continue. *phew*
ranting-wise:
*dangit, my pc hang up, and i've got no mood to rant 'coz it resetted my post, sorry for the lack of rant.*
exam-wise:
i hate it. i dread it. but it's still there, so i got nothing to do about it except to study, which is against my will (not really.)
random-thingy-wise:
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. i hate u hamza, for putting down the phone on me. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
don't worry guys, i still have my sanity.
agenda-wise:
1.) make notes (10% done)
2.) study for exams (10% done)
3.) finish drawing request by gao chao (0% done, i need inspiration like i have during chem class)
4.) watch my diet, lolz. (haha, no progress report here.)
5.) cut out blogging for a while.
so yahs, that's pretty much what i have to say.
see ya!
mariel
philosophically-wise (or explanation-to-the-quote-above-wise):
(side note: please don't mind me differentiating adults and kids...i'm still struck at the middle, and i seriously don't think i qualify for "teenager level" yet, and i'm not qualified to be a kid or a tween either.)
i've given this quote much thought...it is true, we only get to be kids in around 30% in our lives...and we spend 10% of our lives being teenagers, and 70% being adults (i think so, just a thought, blah blah blah.)
...and remembering what i did when i was young, they were fun times...seriously.
and i still want to have that kind of fun.
that's why i try to be a kid at heart...but that doesn't equal to childishness or whatever. they're both different things.
..but have you realized that the way adults think and the way children think are almost the same? i mean, some might not noticed it...but after close observation, i found out that...
1.) adults would try anything to get something they want (e.g. latest handphone model) like the way how kids would try to get anything to make their parents buy their favorite toy (except in this case, they don't make their own money)
2.)adults still play the "blame game" like children would do ("it's all his fault!"...i confess i still do these kind of stuff)
...right now i can't think of anything else...but you do get my point, right?
...so it gives me this conclusion: no one is really "perfectly mature"
oh yeah, some people may have the qualities of a mature person, but not all of them.
...which means no one is perfect.
...but who cares? if the world is perfect, it would be a complete "bore-fest"...but too much of the imperfect stuff can be bad too...
okay, enough of this subject. i think it bores me to death.
past events-wise:
...so yeahs, the past few days i've been busy helping out in a war (and it doesn't involve real missiles, only words.) , only realizing that i dunno what the heck am i doing...and why the heck am i involved in this mess?
...and until today i still dunno the answers. *sighs*
yesterday, hamza called me...the conversation went sort of like this.
hamza: hi
me: hello
hamza: u got jess' number, right?
me: *scratches head* yes...*was gonna ask why, but was interrupted*
hamza: where did you get her number?
me:...from someone in school... *if you were where i was, you could see me smiling nervously, 'coz i was playing a game against my bro, and i didn't want to lose*
hamza: ok...
me:...so, how's school? *i know, lame question.*
hamza: it's ok...(you're boring me, man. are you sure the hamza i met at speech day?)
me:...ok.
hamza: ...ok, bye.
me: oh wait-
*line dead*
...i was gonna ask him why he asked that ("u got jess' number?"). i haven't been in touch with him for months, same for soham.
...but it is indeed weird. why would he ask a question like that?...is he hiding something?
...from the tone of his voice and his hesitation to have a small little chat, i think he is. *lol, i think i need a trenchcoat*
...but why?...that's something i might need to solve, if i'm in the mood.
...i told nikita about my little secret about the guy i liked last year (joanna probably knows this). (side note #2: why would i still keep it a secret if i had no interest in it anymore? me and my weird head.) she was like "what did you see in that guy anyway?", and i was like "i dunno..."
...after thinking it over and after that call from hamza (this doesn't imply that guy i liked was him) i thought, "what was in my head back then? what was i thinking? what did i see in that dude anyway?"
...and i thought how lucky i was that that relationship didn't continue. *phew*
ranting-wise:
*dangit, my pc hang up, and i've got no mood to rant 'coz it resetted my post, sorry for the lack of rant.*
exam-wise:
i hate it. i dread it. but it's still there, so i got nothing to do about it except to study, which is against my will (not really.)
random-thingy-wise:
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. i hate u hamza, for putting down the phone on me. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
don't worry guys, i still have my sanity.
agenda-wise:
1.) make notes (10% done)
2.) study for exams (10% done)
3.) finish drawing request by gao chao (0% done, i need inspiration like i have during chem class)
4.) watch my diet, lolz. (haha, no progress report here.)
5.) cut out blogging for a while.
so yahs, that's pretty much what i have to say.
see ya!
mariel
Friday, April 18, 2008
of raisins and other crap.
"life is like a movie with a catchy soundtrack" - me on my sms to joanna
i'll never look at raisins the same way again.
i think i need a brainwash. anyone got bleach? or that "cif"-thingy they use for cleaning our desks in school?
whatever.
in my point of view, i am being ignored. or is it me who wanted to be ignored?
*thinks*...naaaah, that was a long time ago.
....but this doesn't mean i'm seeking for attention. oh no, i'm not stooping to that low a level.
...but seriously, i am being ignored. since monday i've been treated like someone invisible around a bunch of people...and i dunno why. am i missing anything? timelapse? whu-?
meh. probably this might be my cue to leave. but to where? another school? another country? another clique?
another school?:...yes, i've been considering on changing schools, and i'm thinking...somewhere where the school fees are not so expensive...you know, government-aided schools(not government-owned school)?
if anyone objects, please tell it now or forever hold your tongue...or whatever...in simpler terms, tell me if you object to this idea or not, or regret not doing it sooner or later.
another country?: i've also thought of going back to ph and study there...but some factors made me think about it again...but i have a back-up plan: i think i'll study at my mother's province at mindanao rather than going back to laguna. yes, the place is pretty much rural, but that doesn't mean it's uncivilised. you get fresh air...and you only smell smoke there either when someone's smoking or when someone cooking bbq....and the stuff there is cheaper than the country's capital area.
...and i might like the idea of studying at the same school as my cousins.
...and i wanna speak tagalog in school again. it feels weird to speak english all of a sudden, and i feel left out when people speak in a language that i don't understand which a bunch of people. i can simply just walk away or keep silent and show a forced smile, 'coz what else can i do? i'm just a pushover. (which is something i hate)
...and besides, school is funner there.
...and yes, i know some guys are already wanting me to leave. i can hear your thoughts from here...
another clique?:...no idea.
...okays, enough of that subject.
(*rebuttal round*...amanda, i know the posts trace back to you, but this doesn't mean i hate you or anything...i hope i don't make a flamewar...i positively don't want to give you another burden...i just thought about those stuff you said...it was running in my head.)
...i've been reading the tagboard. and amanda did post some thought over there...i mean, i posted it one time, but reading over it again made me think of some stuff...
(direct quoting over here)
"been reading well for now im not growing backwards..": ...okays. *awkward silence*
"and seriously im honest i just don't like ure chindishness its getting to me and stuufff"
:...okays, but can you tell me in what way? and yes, i know i'm childish and stuff. someone in pri6 told me when i was in pri6...but a lot of things does not make an immature person...but i'd like to see how you reply to my question.
"im getting more chidlish well.. im not sure wad u mean by that and on that outcasting thing..": i think you know what i mean...but for this, i won't explain for the sake of keeping the peace.
"well half the time you are busy with ure other stuff at home etc. well its hard to get u out and have a chat..":...yes, but half the time when i'm not so busy, you're the one with other stuff going on...and well...said chat couldn't be done. and msn-ing it would be awkward, in my case...i'm sorry if i don't have time with you guys...i try to have some time to be free of any work...it seems like i haven't adjusted to sg's way of life...but, well, your life is your life and my life is my life, what else can i do but to keep quiet?
"well thats all im kinda spamming(: anyways forgive me(:": don't worry, spamming my tagboard is the least of my worries...and i forgive you on that.
...now onto the blog.
"I don't really agree with you on the childish part":that's okay, different people have different opinions.
"I'm sorry if i hurt you're feelings or something":don't worry, i forgive u...i've had a lot of people who've hurt me worse before.
"But you must also understand sometimes there are things i feel like talking about...":...ok.
"*next part about the teacher and the test thing*":perhaps i take too much stuff seriously?
"...and what's you people's problem with the les thing if you can't accept it i'm really disappointed in you":...alright, alright...i might not be open-minded on such stuff, being raised up in a kind of "conservative" family...i try to be a bit more open-minded...but different people have different beliefs, what's disturbing for me might not be disturbing for you. like my view of choir and your view of choir, for example...if you're disappointed with me on such things...*resigns with a sigh*...i actually wanted to view this with a diplomatic way, but my diplomatic side has scuttled away somewhere.
"last year you used to be closer to joanna than me...i was never that close to you": true. i can't object to that...but i did try to be close to you, but perhaps we had different interests? *truth hits ppl like a million-elephant stampede*
"i mean i like you, but its hard to say some things": i understand.
"i mean you are more elite than me in many ways. like studies": shucks. i'm not that smart...i'm not that elite...a thousand more people are waaaaaay smarter than me...which is kinda the reason i try to humble myself and try to be content with passing. i don't want to be so air-headed, and i try to accept the fact when someone gets higher than me...but i'll pass out a joke on that person afterwards. lolz.
"and i was never a good leader. i just though i was good but i found out that i am not that great after all": oh yes you were...and i guess after much thought you still are... a measure of a leader's greatness is not based on popularity...i mean, you were some of the people who keep choir from chaos...even though you got scolding from ms lee...and even though you did somewhat change this year...but this does not change my respect towards you. i've always regarded and respected you as a good leader...and well...*blank head**no words to say*
[change topic, quick!]
maybe at school i'm all crazy and stuff...but i'm completely a different person when i think and when i blog...i dunno why. it's like me having different voices for different situations, call it multiple-personality disorder if you will...i like being alone and in silence...some say people go insane in these situations...but weirdly, it seems like it's where a lot of people and noisiness that i seem to be crazy...i dunno why. perhaps it is in silence where i speak a lot of words, 'coz right now, my thoughts are flowing to the keyboard like water flowing to a waterfall...i guess silence speaks a lot of words.
in unrelated news, i think i got tb...i've been coughing so much lately, with the sore throat and all, i perhaps overworked myself the past few days...or perhaps it's just bronchitis or tonsillitis or something...i wouldn't know yet.
...anyway, this is becoming too long a post, will post back sometime.
see ya,
mariel :P
i'll never look at raisins the same way again.
i think i need a brainwash. anyone got bleach? or that "cif"-thingy they use for cleaning our desks in school?
whatever.
in my point of view, i am being ignored. or is it me who wanted to be ignored?
*thinks*...naaaah, that was a long time ago.
....but this doesn't mean i'm seeking for attention. oh no, i'm not stooping to that low a level.
...but seriously, i am being ignored. since monday i've been treated like someone invisible around a bunch of people...and i dunno why. am i missing anything? timelapse? whu-?
meh. probably this might be my cue to leave. but to where? another school? another country? another clique?
another school?:...yes, i've been considering on changing schools, and i'm thinking...somewhere where the school fees are not so expensive...you know, government-aided schools(not government-owned school)?
if anyone objects, please tell it now or forever hold your tongue...or whatever...in simpler terms, tell me if you object to this idea or not, or regret not doing it sooner or later.
another country?: i've also thought of going back to ph and study there...but some factors made me think about it again...but i have a back-up plan: i think i'll study at my mother's province at mindanao rather than going back to laguna. yes, the place is pretty much rural, but that doesn't mean it's uncivilised. you get fresh air...and you only smell smoke there either when someone's smoking or when someone cooking bbq....and the stuff there is cheaper than the country's capital area.
...and i might like the idea of studying at the same school as my cousins.
...and i wanna speak tagalog in school again. it feels weird to speak english all of a sudden, and i feel left out when people speak in a language that i don't understand which a bunch of people. i can simply just walk away or keep silent and show a forced smile, 'coz what else can i do? i'm just a pushover. (which is something i hate)
...and besides, school is funner there.
...and yes, i know some guys are already wanting me to leave. i can hear your thoughts from here...
another clique?:...no idea.
...okays, enough of that subject.
(*rebuttal round*...amanda, i know the posts trace back to you, but this doesn't mean i hate you or anything...i hope i don't make a flamewar...i positively don't want to give you another burden...i just thought about those stuff you said...it was running in my head.)
...i've been reading the tagboard. and amanda did post some thought over there...i mean, i posted it one time, but reading over it again made me think of some stuff...
(direct quoting over here)
"been reading well for now im not growing backwards..": ...okays. *awkward silence*
"and seriously im honest i just don't like ure chindishness its getting to me and stuufff"
:...okays, but can you tell me in what way? and yes, i know i'm childish and stuff. someone in pri6 told me when i was in pri6...but a lot of things does not make an immature person...but i'd like to see how you reply to my question.
"im getting more chidlish well.. im not sure wad u mean by that and on that outcasting thing..": i think you know what i mean...but for this, i won't explain for the sake of keeping the peace.
"well half the time you are busy with ure other stuff at home etc. well its hard to get u out and have a chat..":...yes, but half the time when i'm not so busy, you're the one with other stuff going on...and well...said chat couldn't be done. and msn-ing it would be awkward, in my case...i'm sorry if i don't have time with you guys...i try to have some time to be free of any work...it seems like i haven't adjusted to sg's way of life...but, well, your life is your life and my life is my life, what else can i do but to keep quiet?
"well thats all im kinda spamming(: anyways forgive me(:": don't worry, spamming my tagboard is the least of my worries...and i forgive you on that.
...now onto the blog.
"I don't really agree with you on the childish part":that's okay, different people have different opinions.
"I'm sorry if i hurt you're feelings or something":don't worry, i forgive u...i've had a lot of people who've hurt me worse before.
"But you must also understand sometimes there are things i feel like talking about...":...ok.
"*next part about the teacher and the test thing*":perhaps i take too much stuff seriously?
"...and what's you people's problem with the les thing if you can't accept it i'm really disappointed in you":...alright, alright...i might not be open-minded on such stuff, being raised up in a kind of "conservative" family...i try to be a bit more open-minded...but different people have different beliefs, what's disturbing for me might not be disturbing for you. like my view of choir and your view of choir, for example...if you're disappointed with me on such things...*resigns with a sigh*...i actually wanted to view this with a diplomatic way, but my diplomatic side has scuttled away somewhere.
"last year you used to be closer to joanna than me...i was never that close to you": true. i can't object to that...but i did try to be close to you, but perhaps we had different interests? *truth hits ppl like a million-elephant stampede*
"i mean i like you, but its hard to say some things": i understand.
"i mean you are more elite than me in many ways. like studies": shucks. i'm not that smart...i'm not that elite...a thousand more people are waaaaaay smarter than me...which is kinda the reason i try to humble myself and try to be content with passing. i don't want to be so air-headed, and i try to accept the fact when someone gets higher than me...but i'll pass out a joke on that person afterwards. lolz.
"and i was never a good leader. i just though i was good but i found out that i am not that great after all": oh yes you were...and i guess after much thought you still are... a measure of a leader's greatness is not based on popularity...i mean, you were some of the people who keep choir from chaos...even though you got scolding from ms lee...and even though you did somewhat change this year...but this does not change my respect towards you. i've always regarded and respected you as a good leader...and well...*blank head**no words to say*
[change topic, quick!]
maybe at school i'm all crazy and stuff...but i'm completely a different person when i think and when i blog...i dunno why. it's like me having different voices for different situations, call it multiple-personality disorder if you will...i like being alone and in silence...some say people go insane in these situations...but weirdly, it seems like it's where a lot of people and noisiness that i seem to be crazy...i dunno why. perhaps it is in silence where i speak a lot of words, 'coz right now, my thoughts are flowing to the keyboard like water flowing to a waterfall...i guess silence speaks a lot of words.
in unrelated news, i think i got tb...i've been coughing so much lately, with the sore throat and all, i perhaps overworked myself the past few days...or perhaps it's just bronchitis or tonsillitis or something...i wouldn't know yet.
...anyway, this is becoming too long a post, will post back sometime.
see ya,
mariel :P
Thursday, April 10, 2008
rawr
i haven't been sleeping well for the past few days...plus the tons of work sitting on my desk...plus going home late for speech day practice and german class...yeah. which could probably be the reason i was acting weird these past few days.
i'm sooo sleepy but i can't sleep...the pile of work is calling me...
there's been flamewars going on at the tagboards of xinying and joanna...go with caution.
at joanna's tagboard hamza's been fighting "himself" (or his so-called "impersonator"...i dunno if i believe that or not, i'm a skeptic)...hamza's been acting weird...i mean seriously...i never expected a "f-word" from him...got me shocked.
hamza, i know you broke up with jo...but just 'coz of studies you're gonna break up with her? couldn't you have not started the relationship instead to spare her the pain? be rational, man.
...and i still am a better liar than you, you effing retard. just to give you my payback.
...i mean, to be honest, i was the girl who used to like you but lost interest soonafter...i guess it was worth it to forget about you all this while...and i don't mind what other people will think of this secret i've been keeping since last year. 'coz hamza, i know you're just a sore loser.
...and i don't mind if you won't talk to me on speech day, i've already got a huge network of friends. it's only one little thing, i shouldn't make a big fuss about it like a big, spoiled brat...i'm serious.
..i used to think you're a nice guy and stuff...maybe i was wrong.
i won't mind if you flamewar'd at my blog...i don't care much about that.
and i don't mind if you sever the friendly ties between us.
...it's more likely i'd be the one who's gonna end you up in doomsday anyway. (pardona me for my weird thoughts, lack of sleep.)
zilchcakes.
okays, off with that thing.
onto xinyings blog. ya, there's this girl...i went to her blog...and it was full of maple.
*abrupt-noise-thingy*
....wait, since when was this my business?
i'm out on this topic. let's talk about something else instead.
speech day practice on tuesday...it was a drag. i'd rather have stayed with the prize winners...and why'd they had to cram the practices on last week and this week? it doesn't seem right.
...german test-wise: i dunno what my marks is...but it's bound to be a failure, whether i like it or not.
physics test-wise: dun wan to talk about it. scram.
...can i go sleep now? my sleepiness messed up my ranting-mojo.
see ya,
mariel (that bored person who doesn't know what the heck is she talking about)
i'm sooo sleepy but i can't sleep...the pile of work is calling me...
there's been flamewars going on at the tagboards of xinying and joanna...go with caution.
at joanna's tagboard hamza's been fighting "himself" (or his so-called "impersonator"...i dunno if i believe that or not, i'm a skeptic)...hamza's been acting weird...i mean seriously...i never expected a "f-word" from him...got me shocked.
hamza, i know you broke up with jo...but just 'coz of studies you're gonna break up with her? couldn't you have not started the relationship instead to spare her the pain? be rational, man.
...and i still am a better liar than you, you effing retard. just to give you my payback.
...i mean, to be honest, i was the girl who used to like you but lost interest soonafter...i guess it was worth it to forget about you all this while...and i don't mind what other people will think of this secret i've been keeping since last year. 'coz hamza, i know you're just a sore loser.
...and i don't mind if you won't talk to me on speech day, i've already got a huge network of friends. it's only one little thing, i shouldn't make a big fuss about it like a big, spoiled brat...i'm serious.
..i used to think you're a nice guy and stuff...maybe i was wrong.
i won't mind if you flamewar'd at my blog...i don't care much about that.
and i don't mind if you sever the friendly ties between us.
...it's more likely i'd be the one who's gonna end you up in doomsday anyway. (pardona me for my weird thoughts, lack of sleep.)
zilchcakes.
okays, off with that thing.
onto xinyings blog. ya, there's this girl...i went to her blog...and it was full of maple.
*abrupt-noise-thingy*
....wait, since when was this my business?
i'm out on this topic. let's talk about something else instead.
speech day practice on tuesday...it was a drag. i'd rather have stayed with the prize winners...and why'd they had to cram the practices on last week and this week? it doesn't seem right.
...german test-wise: i dunno what my marks is...but it's bound to be a failure, whether i like it or not.
physics test-wise: dun wan to talk about it. scram.
...can i go sleep now? my sleepiness messed up my ranting-mojo.
see ya,
mariel (that bored person who doesn't know what the heck is she talking about)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)